The Bygone Era and the End of the Matriarch

Hey gang.

So the first half of this month has been centered around one major event: the passing of my paternal grandmother, Granny Hough.

Our former firebrand of a matriarch was known throughout our family, her church family, and her many circles of friends throughout the country for her quick (if not eviscerating) wit, her attention to detail (to the point of being OCD), and her enthusiasm for music (the uke and piano, especially), faith, and family.  Her passing was by no means sudden and unexpected:  she was well into her 80s, and her health had been failing for years.  Within the last year or so, her short-term memory was more or less shot, and she failed to comprehend much of the goings-on around her.  She was more or less confined to her home, but seemed happy with her life as it was at the end, sharing her home with her live-in companion, Norm.

One day in early March, I had received notice that she was in the hospital and things weren't looking good.  My dad's sister, Lucy, and her family were driving up from Grand Rapids, and my brothers and I made our way in from Midland to pay our respects.  Dad was still out of town for business, but was trying to get back to Clare as soon as humanly possible.  By 9pm, most of our family was able to make it to her bedside, where she drifted in and out of consciousness.

Granny trying out the webcam on an iMac Dad set up for her.

She couldn't stay awake long, but whenever she awoke she seemed to recognize us and meekly spoke to us in turn.  She instructed my cousin, Mackenzie, to go downstairs to the cafeteria and bring Norm a coffee, and demanded that someone bring Yours Truly - out of everyone else in the crowded hospital room - a Coke (I've been told I was always her favorite grandchild, being the first and all.)

Late into the night, it didn't look like much was changing with her condition, for better or for worse.  She wasn't improving, surely, but she wasn't fading, either.  Physically and mentally exhausted, our family retired back to my dad's for the night.  The next day, we spent in and out of the hospital room, where little had changed.  She was still in and out of consciousness, with her vitals improving here and failing there.  By Monday evening, I had to pay my final respects and head back to Midland.

Two days later, after work, I received a call from my parents notifying me that she could go any minute, and that if I wanted to see her one last time, I should probably head up to Clare ASAP.  My brothers and I carpooled to the hospital and arrived just a few minutes before she passed, which, for those of you who have never experienced such a thing (unfortunately I have more than a few times), is a powerful thing.  Afterwards, Chris and I stopped off at the Doherty for a beer and a whiskey before heading back to Midland.

The following week would see our entire family pay homage to our former matriarch, divvy up the spoils of her house, and pay our final respects at her funeral service.  All in all, a pretty solemn two weeks, but things went smoothly without incident or unnecessary family drama.

Which, in our family, is truly saying something.

Check it out. . .

The weekend of Granny's memorial and funeral services would see a great influx of relatives, and they'd all be staying at Dad's house.  I made sure to arrive early in order to snag a decent room at Dad and Cindy's, as well as to make an early-morning run over to Granny's house in order to secure some of the items that Granny had told me before I would inherit, or would have otherwise wanted me to have, such as this statue I bought for her while I was stationed outside of Tamale, Ghana.

Once everyone had rolled in (and after my initial run-through of Granny's house), we caravanned over to the funeral home for the 'viewing ceremony,' which wasn't really a 'viewing,' per se, considered Dad and Lucy had Granny cremated.

As always, I get stuck with all the photo-taking responsibilities, so you won't see me in any of these.  My family just assumes I'll take pictures anymore.

My cousin, Mackenzie, at left, talking with Annie and Jeff.

This funeral home has some pretty cool furniture.  I love the antique-y look.

Kris brought the girls out for a little part of the memorial service, just so they could check out Granny's photos and get some kind of a sense of closure (if that's even possible for little kids their age.)

They spent most of the time walking around eating mints, which we allowed simply because it kept them occupied.

That's Granny's Harmony uke, identical to the one I have that belonged to Grandpa.

Abby checks out a forbidden door in the bathroom. . .

AHOY - JESUS OFF TO STARBOARD

Jax has the right idea.  This memorial service was something like four hours long, and, mostly due to the fact that Granny had been a shut-in for the last four of five years of her life, and otherwise due to the fact that most of her close friends and family members were already dead, there weren't a lot of visitors to her service.  All in all, a pretty boring affair - time passed incredibly slowly.

Abby decides to help out with the decorating of the funeral home. . .

Manhandling Granny's memorial

See?  Still no visitors.  Just Houghs, Whites and Waites.

Dad shows the grandkids one of Granny's photo boards. . .

Nana and the girls

Earlier in the day, like I said before, I swung by Granny's and picked up a couple duffel bags worth of crap that she had said I could have someday (mostly knick knacks and statues from her travels around the world, etc.)  While I was there, I made sure to swipe this bottle of Crown from her fridge (it belonged to Norm, but he was in the hospital - probably wouldn't be needing it any time soon. . .)

Once our family came home from the Funeral Home, at the closing of the memorial service, we decided to crack open Norm's bottle in order to toast Granny's legacy. . .

. . . so I gave a brief toast.  The specifics of which, I forget.

Slainté

Mackenzie's fiance, Matt (at left), Bryan, and I stayed up for awhile after people started falling asleep. . .

I didn't take any pictures of the funeral service, obviously, but here's a shot of the sign from out front of the church.  Just like at Grandpa Hough's service, I would end up delivering the Obituary statement during the service.  I'd like to think I did a little better this time around. . .

It isn't often the parents can get all five siblings together all at once, even on holidays.  So here ya go.

The Houghs

The Rowleys

. . . and a couple White boys.

Following the funeral service, Dad and Lucy wanted to have all the grandkids go through Granny's house and pick out some things from her house as keepsakes.  We'd order some pizza from Buccelli's, hang out, and get one final look through her house.

As Granny's favorite grandchild, I had no qualms with taking full advantage of this. . .

I nabbed this awesome lamp, which will someday hang in my study/library when we buy a house next year.

I always loved going over to Granny and Grandpa Hough's house, 'cause it always reminded me of a museum, and they're partly responsible for my love of all things antique-ish and worldly (and why my house looks more and more like theirs with each passing day.)

The instrument wall (and some creepy knick-knacks)

Granny had a thing for phones.  And glassware.  I'd end up taking a few of these phones (the black candlestick at the top left, the two french phones, and two fully-functional wall phones - one from the 1960s, one designed like one of the old-school 1920s phones.)  And yes, my wife hates me for it.

Granny's office/cactus room.  That mini-fridge and TV came home with me, you bet your ass.

The living room.

Keepin' it classy.

Bryan finds Granny and Grandpa's Weight Watchers progress chart

We found a lot of pictures at her house while we were knee-deep in the plundering, such as this one of me (at right), which looks eerily like my own daughter, Alayna (at left.)

Dad sure was creepy back in the day. . .

Chris and Nicole

Trying to analyze some jewelry (that's Ryan, Rachel's fiance, at center, with Bryan and Matt.)

My cousins focused on silver and jewelry while they were there, which was totally fine with me.  I ended up taking all the jewelry they didn't want so the girls could pick out some earrings, necklaces, etc.  Mostly non-expensive pieces, but I did manage to score some gold and gemstones that others must have overlooked.  You can rest assured I'm not giving that to the girls yet.

Uncle Larry.  Working hard.

Kris wouldn't let me take this table.  She says I'm a pack rat, probably on account that while all my other siblings and cousins took a laundry basket or so of items from Granny's, I filled up my entire car.  To the brim.

One of the big items I inherited from Granny was this piano, which I have a lot of fond memories of (if you'll recall the picture at the top of this post, of me, in the nude, playing it alongside her.)  I only have to pay $450 to have it moved and tuned, which is definitely something I can live with - a small price for a family heirloom on which my daughters can learn.

One of the great, overlooked finds I snatched up right away was a huge stack of old ukulele songbooks, camp songbooks, and antique piano music, most from the 1900s - 1930s.  The artwork for these songs are downright incredible, and there are several - like the General Pershing... one above at left - that I plan on framing and hanging above the piano in our new house.

I took a few lamps from Granny's, like this one from her 'cactus room.'  I was trying to be practical going through her house, so I was picking up shit like coolers, extension chords, dvd players, stereo equipment, etc. as well as valuables and more 'sentimental' items.  (Note:  I would later return, two weeks later, and load up two more carloads of crap from Granny's house, since apparently no one else wanted anything else.)

This chair once belonged to my great, great grandmother, of whom I know absolutely nothing about.  But her chair is currently in my basement.

. . . and yes, I'm going to replace the cushions on it.  Obviously.

I had previously inherited Grandpa's old concert/tenor ukulele (a vintage Harmony), and Granny wanted me to have one of hers.  Dad wanted to keep the matching uke to the one I had of Grandpa's (which I was totally cool with 'cause having two identical ukes next to each other on a wall would look kinda weird), so he gave me this antique, banjo uke instead.  I was obviously pretty happy about this.  

Hanging alongside Grandpa's Tenor ukulele in my bedroom

Back at home, some of Granny's statues from her travels have found a way into various parts of our home (while most are packed away in totes for when we buy a bigger house. . . I hate this rental of ours.)  That Aztec Fire God statue, at top left, was from a 1969 (?) trip to Mexico.  No idea where the statue at the top right came from.

It took a long, long time bringing all the crap I took from Granny's into the house, but the girls loved playing with a lot of it (like the phones.)

And, of course, the jewelry was a big hit.  After they went through it all, the stuff they didn't like I ended up giving to Jeff for his daughter, Scarlett.

- Brian