A Day Off of Work (...sort of.)

As a dedicated educator of the bright minds and great leaders of tomorrow glorified babysitter, I earn a whopping ten paid days off a year.  Seriously, that's it.  Some teachers never use their full ten days, and therefore roll them over into the following year.  I know teachers at my school who have something like thirty or forty days off available.  Me?  Thanks to my two germ-magnet offspring, I burn through mine every year without fail.

It's really, really awesome.

So it should go without saying that I value my days off, and try to only use them when absolutely necessary. You can imagine, then, my reaction when Kris asked that I chaperon Alayna's first grade class to the infamous Green Meadows Farm - a giant petting zoo set in the forest outside of Kissimmee.  Trading in a precious paid day off of work for five hours of bumpy bus rides and walking around disgusting animals, all the while sweating under the oppressive Florida sun and trying to wrangle a horde of wild six-year-olds.

In the end - unsurprisingly - I did what my wife asked.  I've been married for a long, long time, I know how this works now.

Check it out. . .

On the bus, heading towards Green Meadows. . .

Goats.  My most-hated of all God's creatures on Earth.  Bar none.

See this kid?  All I heard today from other girls in Alayna's class was how Alayna and this boy 'like each other.'  Not that I needed their reporting on the issue - I've heard about this kid since the beginning of the school year.  We're going to have our hands full with this girl once she gets to Middle School. . .

I think it'd suck to be a petting zoo animal, being man-handled (kid-handled?) by annoying children all day.

That's Alayna's teacher, Mrs. Hall, off to the left there.  She's really awesome - we're glad Alayna got her this year.

Nobody thought to bring a camera with them for this trip, so Mrs. Hall asked me to take pictures with my phone of the class - so if there's a bizarre amount of other children in these pictures, that's why.  I edited them down quite a bit, though.

Feeding goats. . . arguably the most disgusting activity at this place.

Preparing to enter Duckburg.

See how the ground's wet there?  It hadn't just rained or anything - I'm pretty sure that's urine.  These ducks/geese were absolutely terrified of these kids, and worked themselves into a corner to try and get away from grabby hands. 

Nothing says 'down on the farm' like peacocks.

Ready for a hay bail ride. . .

Spotting horses

Waiting in line to ride ponies 

I ended up taking a couple pictures of each kid from Mrs. Hall's class, but I doubt you guys want to see any of them besides this kid.

Thug life.

Shenanigans.  I was in charge of watching these three.  Other chaperons were given groups of five or six kids, so I was alarmed when I was given such a small group.  Obviously Alayna was in my group, but - being the only male chaperon on hand - they gave me the two class behavior problems.  In the end, it wasn't bad, though.

Duck wrangling.

Definitely doesn't look like forests back home in Michigan, does it. . .

These are some of the girls Alayna usually hangs out with, and probably should have been grouped with.  Had Kris chaperoned this trip, I'm sure she would have. . .

Ready to bother some chickens. . .

Over the years, the Cannonball's gotten pretty good at stalking and picking up chickens.  She's been to Green Meadows Farm a time or twelve.

Alayna shares a chicken with her "boyfriend."

An absolute hen hizzy.

My phone died right after this, so there's no photographic evidence of the big class picture taken in front of a tractor, or the train ride, but you basically get the gist of the field trip.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a bath in some bleach.

- Brian