A Duel 10 Years in the Making...

If it's one thing I can't stomach, it's some a-hole cracking wise on my golf skills. I refer not to that sissy, 18-hole, pastel-polo-tucked-into-khakis golf you see the well-to-dos killing their idle time with. Nay. I refer to a real man's golf.

Pirates Cove Adventure Golf.

To call this 'miniature golf' would be akin to referring to Indiana Jones as a professor. I had lots of professors through undergraduate and graduate school, but not one of them carried a pistol and whip, combated Nazis, and trounced around the world theater collecting ancient relics of antiquity and occult. Not that I'm aware of at least.

No, Pirates Cove is something glorious and unique, and therefore it was with great offense did I scorn the infamous Zack Smith - co-founder of the Sausage Pad and fellow Alpha Team compatriot - when he dared to state that he would 'destroy me' at an 18-round tour-de-force at Pirates Cove. Without missing a beat, I accepted his challenge, however ludicrous and heretic it was at the time, and we made a pact to hold a duel at the earliest possible juncture.

That was ten years ago.

Now, this week, the duel commenced.

It was an epic battle of gigantor proportions, and definitely one for the history books. I had an early lead over Z. Smithers that I somehow managed to squander about three-fourths of the way through the course, and so he managed to catch up to me on a few of the last holes. Alas, as the tally was taken after we completed the 18th hole, we discovered that, after ten years of shit-talking, we had tied.

That's right. It was a tie. Unbelievable.

So what happens now? I'll tell you what happens now:

Hough vs. Smith 2020.

Be there or be square.

- Brian