The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. CXXIV

A true behemoth of a Holiday album awaits thee, music-lovers. Strap yourself in. . .

Album Title:  Winter Wonderland

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Kids, I've had this double-LP release on my list for years.

Years.

I took one look at the track list on this this thing and realized it wasn't something that could be realistically passed up. Alas, seeing how it was out of print I wasn't thrilled with paying Amazon's exuberant, post-Covid price. Eventually, over the summer, it dipped down to like $22 and I pulled the trigger on it. Sadly it's not pressed on colored vinyl - which would have been a nice, if not trivial, bonus.

Considering most of the songs on here are well-known, I figured the easiest thing to do here is lean hard into those tracks on this album that aren't seasonal favorites. I mean, at this point in the grand scheme of things, what more am I going to say about Brenda Lee's 'Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree?' Who the hell am I to comment on something like that? 

Some random guy dying on some random hill in some obscure corner of the World Wide Web, that's who. 

So, taking this into consideration, I'm going to break each of these four sides down one at a time and introduce you to some of the Holiday jams on here that you may or may not have heard. . .

The inner record sleeves for this release are pretty fancy, too.

Disc 1, Side A.

They come out of the gate strong with the first two songs, no question there. But Track 3 pumps the brakes pretty damn fast. This whole compilation is definitely themed, showcasing Christmas standards from the 40's - 60's. You have a whole splattering of familiar faces (looking at the track listing on these four sides, you can see who I'm talking about), but then you're presented with a handful of 'filler' artists that were probably label rank-and-file back in the day. Paul Anka is one of these guys.

Paul himself doesn't sound all that bad (for a '50s teen idol, I guess), but his backup singers - who introduce 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus' and then make weird little appearances throughout the following minutes - are really, really bad. You know that old elementary school taunt/chant, "So-and-so and so-and-so/in a tree/K-I-S-S-I-N-G"? That's essentially their delivery, except it sounds like the whole gaggle of hens got into a box of Franzia and had their way with it.

Billy Fury - who, honestly, sounds like he should be a G.I. Joe instead of a '50's crooner - isn't one I usually associate with Christmas, but 'My Christmas Prayer' is decent. I can't find any fault in it, really, but I've never heard this song before and I'm pretty sure I know why: this is 97% '50s teen ballad and 3% Christmas. If it weren't for the jingle bells playing softly in the background, and maybe half a dozen mentions of 'Christmas' and 'Snow' in the lyrics, you wouldn't think this was a Christmas song. If you were driving around in your car and this was in the background, you'd probably never know.

'Blue Christmas' wraps up the end of Side A, but for whatever f***ing reason the geniuses behind this compilation decided to pass on the quintessential version done by Elvis, opting instead for Bobby Vee. Bobby is to Elvis as The Chad Mitchell Trio are to Bob Dylan. 'Are they both folk artists?'  Yeah, sure. But one of them is Bob frickin' Dylan, and the others can be found collecting dust in your local Goodwill. While the arrangement itself isn't bad objectively, whoever recorded this dual-layered Bobby's vocals terribly, so it sounds like he's singing with his twin instead of just boosting his own vocals. 

So like The Proclaimers, if you will. But only they're a Chad Mitchell Trio-tier act covering a Holiday staple done by someone far superior.

Disc 1, Side B:

Every song on this side is a  Holiday banger. Every. Last. One. You've heard 'em all, they're great.

Move along, folks.

Disc 2, Side C:

This one defies all rational thought: who in their right mind would include 'Rockin' Robin'' on a Holiday album?  

When I first spotted this on the track list, I thought to myself, "Well, maybe they recorded an alternate version, where the lyrics are adjusted slightly to make it Christmas-y. And maybe they added jingle bells or something."

Nope. 

It's the same version you've heard your entire life. Did they throw it in there just because the rest of the album is mostly '50s music?  I didn't know folks could do that, just throw whatever songs you want onto a Holiday compilation.  

I really like Led Zeppelin's 'Good Times, Bad Times' but I'm NOT about to dump it into one of my Holiday playlists. Good f***ing Lord.

Pat Boone has never been one of my favorites, but his version of 'Here Comes Santa Claus' is easily over-looked. Not stupendous, but meh - it's unoffensive filler that's easily overlooked if not short in duration.

Bobby Vee closes out yet another Side with yet another lackluster version of a song done soooo much better by so many other performers in existence. It boggles the mind why the producers of this compilation leaned so hard into this guy.

Seriously. They couldn't pull the trigger on another Sinatra or Bing song? Those guys are BOTH already in this compilation, and their versions are leaps and bounds above this one.

Disc 2, Side D:

Again, another side of Christmas classics (thank God.) Just take a gander at the track listing here - each one of those is a song you know every note to, it's ingrained in your soul at this point. I don't have a single complaint on this side either.

So, after listening to four sides of this jam-packed, Holiday compilation, I'm not regretting this purchase at all. Odd music selections aside - and damn, some of those were really, really weird - I will give the producers props for creating a compilation that flows incredibly well. This era in Christmas music was perfectly captured in this release, and, while some of it could have definitely been stricken in favor of other (better) versions, this stands as worthy addition to one's Holiday collection.

. . . . seriously, though - 'Rockin' Robin.'  I mean, c'mon.

VERDICT:  8/10 - Awesome (A cavalcade of awesome with a sprinkling of lackluster, Holiday bullshit thrown in for good measure. This compilation could have trimmed off the fat and been whittled down to one record and it would have easily been a 10.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

- Brian

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. C

*cue elaborate fanfare*

We did it, folks.  100 Episodes of the greatest Holiday Vinyl review series on the World Wide Web (I assume - I doubt there's another asshole out there doing this.)

Because this is a special event (of sorts), I decided to mix things up a little bit with this installment.  It felt like too much of an honor for any shitty, old Christmas album pulled out of a dollar bin at a local record store to be scrutinized on this 100th Episode.  So, instead, I decided to re-evaluate a few of the past installments that were deemed acceptable enough to remain in my collection, but are now getting donated.

Bottom line is I'm running out of room in my Christmas Music crate - some of these mediocre LPs needed to be liquidated in order to make room for new additions later on down the road.  And, odds are, we'll be having another one of these mass-execution episodes in a few years - I can't just keep buying records and keeping them.  Kris would kill me.

So, without further adieu, here's the list of those old relics that are being taken out to pasture:

Album Title:  Remembering Christmas with the Big Bands

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Featured On:  Ep. 2 (Nov. 23, 2015)

Rating:  6

This album wasn't terrible, per se, but in the seven years since I reviewed this one I haven't put it on the turntable to listen to once.  Not once.  Jazz is one of those genres where you have to be in the right mood for it, and when that rare mood arises during the Holiday season when I feel like listening to jazz, I usually gravitate towards the likes of the Vince Guaraldi Trio, Sinatra, or Bing.  Sorry, Glenn Miller and Co., but the ship has sailed for you guys.

I'm sure there are thousands of World War II vets rolling in their graves over this decision, but whatever.

Album Title:  Your Favorite Christmas Music, Volume 4

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Featured On:  Ep. 6 (Dec. 1, 2015)

Rating:  6

Another perfect example of 'this is okay, but I have other LPs that are better.'  This compilation from the good people over at Firestone (seriously, what the f***) is fine example of contemporary '50s/60s music that was all the rage back in the day, but was over-shadowed by the counter-culture surge of Rock and Roll and 'the negro music.'  Traditional artists doing larger-than-necessary renditions of Christmas classics.  I honestly can't believe I gave this one a '6' seven years ago - had I reviewed this today it would probably be a '4' or a '5,' but back then I was new-ish at analyzing Christmas albums and was a little nicer when giving out scores.  Now that I'm a grumpy old man, I realize that this sounds like so many other boring Holiday albums I've reviewed over the years, and it has no business being in my record collection.

Sorry, (Mary Poppins.)

Album Title:  Enchantment of Christmas

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Featured On:  Ep. 10 (Dec. 8, 2015)

Rating:  7

This one is actually pretty good, and I don't have anything negative to really say about it - it's a great compilation of 50s/60s Christmas music.  Unfortunately, this version is in that VG/G+ range in terms of sound quality: no skips or pops, but some definite surface noise, and if I'm going to hold on to a record I want to make sure I have a decent copy of it.  More than that, however, is the fact that I already have every, last one of these songs on a multi-record, boxed set that's in NM condition, so owning this LP is, honestly, kinda redundant. 

Album Title:  The Little Drummer Boy

Album Artist:  The Abbey Chorale

Featured On:  Ep. 17 (Dec. 20, 2015)

Rating:  6

This one I felt bad about getting rid of at first, but then I realized the error in my ways back in 2015.  See, when I first reviewed this one, I wrongly assumed that this version of 'The Little Drummer Boy' was the definitive one - the classic one from the 1950's that everyone knows.  I can't be faulted too much for that, because it sounds nearly identical, but the version I was thinking about was the famous rendition by The Harry Simeone Chorale (1958.)  That (better) version I already own on an existing Holiday compilation, so there's no reason for me owning an album such as this if the only reason I'm doing so is because of that song.  The rest of the album is okay - like I said before, it's churchy, but done well - but I've rarely listened to it in the years since reviewing it the first time.  

I don't get the need to listen to church music very often (if ever), so this one's getting pitched as well.

Album Title:  What if Mozart Wrote Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas?

Album Artist:  The Hampton String Quartet

Featured On:  Ep. 22 (Dec. 1, 2016)

Rating:  6

I love Classical music, and I love Christmas music, so this one should be a knock out of the park, but it just doesn't work for me.  I've actually listened to this one on occasion since hearing it for the first time back in 2016, and every time I do so I get bored with it.  It's a cool enough concept in theory, but the execution doesn't leave one with feeling the Yuletide vibes at all.  Most of the songs on here require active listening in order to identify a familiar Holiday melody, and that kinda dampens this one on the ol' Fun scale.

Album Title:  A Merry Christmas to You

Album Artist:  David Rose and His Orchestra

Featured On:  Ep. 71 (Dec. 8, 2020)

Rating:  6

This is a pretty solid instrumental album, and sounds like the orchestral, backing music to any one of the countless '50s compilations I've reviewed in the past.  It sounds like the sort of music Sinatra or Bing sang over, and it's mixed well - great background music for the Holiday season.  That being said, this copy is in pretty rough shape, and I have other instrumental albums that I gravitate more towards during the Holiday season.  Like I stated originally, there aren't a lot of highs and lows on this album to keep the listener engaged:  the medleys keep things from getting too boring, but a lot of it starts to sound the same after awhile.  All in all, I'd recommend it for sure if a.) you have a decent copy and b.) don't have anything else similar in your collection.

Album Title:  Christmas with The Canadian Brass and the Great Organ of St. Patrick's Cathedral

Album Artist:  The Canadian Brass

Featured On:  Ep. 90 (Dec. 15, 2021)

Rating:  6

How this LP still works is beyond me - it's not bad at all, but it's not necessarily great either.  It's just okay.  Like all of the other albums in today's post, there's not a lot to complain about, but there are better options in my collection, and I have to trim fat from somewhere.  I held on to this one because of the sheer balls of the brass section - it's not a sound you hear often on a Christmas album, so last year I deemed it was worth holding on to.  I would probably still be holding on to it if I hadn't just had my socks blown off a few days ago when reviewing this similar-but-better, brass-heavy Christmas album.

VERDICT:  n/a (We bid farewell to a few mediocre installments from the previous seven or eight years that were once deemed good enough to remain in Holiday Rotation, but shall now walk The Green Mile in order to make room for new additions in the coming years.)

- SHELVED -

- Brian

Rock Around the Fifties

This is how she went to school this morning. . .

Hey there, fanbase.

Abby's been on a huge '50s music kick lately - it's all she'll request our various Amazon Alexa devices to play anymore.  Elvis Presley, Bill Haley, Señor Valens, you name it.  This recent obsession isn't random by any means, though:  she got a small speaking role in her grade level's annual musical,  Rock Around the Fifties, and has taken it upon herself to prepare for it (months in advance) by listening to 65-year-old rock and roll on a nearly constant basis.

Ready for the show

I'm not complaining, though.  It sure beats the hell out of what her sister usually has our household robots stream.

Post-show (while Yours Truly stacked chairs. . .)

Anyway, I ended up filming it this year with an HD videocamera.  Anymore, with performances like these, I'm starting to lean away from hauling around various SLR lenses, and instead opting to important multiple movie files into iMovie, then uploading it (unlisted, of course) to Youtube.  It's more or less the same amount of time/work in the end, honestly - editing and uploading vs. filtering through hundreds of pics in order to find the ones worth keeping.

So yeah, here's a throwback concert for all you rock and roll fans out there.

   Enjoy.

- Brian

Two Daughters, a Dad and a Dance

Devil in the Red Dress

What's up, cyberspace.

This year, once again, Kris signed up Yours Truly for the Daddy Daughter Dance.  I've gone to a few of these over the years: with Alayna, down in Orlando, in 2014 and 2015, then with Abby, here in Midland, back in 2016.  Now, down in Florida, the Daddy Daughter Dances were put on by Alayna's school, and we had assumed they would be also when we moved up here to Midland.  Alas, as we were to find out, Midland schools doesn't get down like that, and so the hosting of the annual dances falls on the shoulders of the local Girl Scout troops instead.

The Houghs have taken the last two years off of dancing, as a.) neither girl expressed any interest in going to a Daddy Daughter Dance (they take after their old man in that regard), and b.) the last few years - including in 2016, when I took Abby - it's been held at the Midland Country Club, and was $50 per child.

Kris doesn't pull any punches when it comes to doing girls' hair for big events. . .

Well, this year, the girls decided they both wanted to do it.  They each had a lot of friends going from their respective Girl Scout troops, and everyone was talking it up.  It still ended up costing us about $75 for the two girls to go, plus the price of new dresses and what not, but at least it was at the Great Hall across town, and not some stick-up-the-ass, Dow-shmoozy country club.  Plus I'm friends with a lot of dads that ended up going, so there wasn't a terrible amount of small-talking I had to endure (I despise small talk with a passion.)

Still plenty of shitty, shitty pop music, though - they definitely had that in abundance.

That and chicken fingers.

Behold - Daddy Daughter Dance 2019. . .

Kris had previously dyed both girls' hair with streaks of dark pink (or red, I don't know.)

Alayna fusses over her new dress while Kris begins work on Abby's hair. . .

Kris was having difficulty with Abby's hair, so she stopped for the time being and switched over to Alayna's.

Letting the kids zone out to Netflix (both girls are currently working their way through ABC's Once Upon a Time) while doing hair is definitely the way to go.

Alayna's finished product (and my shoes, freshly polished and treated.)

Abby's work-in-progress required a little more light and tools, so they switched gears and headed over to our bathroom. . .

Abby's finished product.

Some last-minute, mandatory before-dance pictures. . .

Once we got to the Great Hall, we picked up programs and corsages and then proceeded on to this photo op place where photographers took pictures of you and your date(s) with your phone.  Kind of a nice alternative to paying out the ass for some 'professional' pic that ends up looking just as good as this anyway.

We were sat at assigned tables, and some of our wives - who, being involved heavily in local Girl Scout troops, had helped set up and organize this event - had placed most of us dads who usually hang out together (in our circle of friends) far apart from one another.  Probably on purpose, to keep rowdiness down to a minimum.

Centerpieces.

Abby enjoys her first virgin Shirley Temple.

Abby's troop reads the Girl Scout something-or-other, before dinner is served (well, not necessarily 'served,' per se - it was buffet-style.)

The care packages left at the tables contained some chocolates and candies, a cake pop, and a Christmas tree ornament (as shown here.)

Typical Cannonball face.  And a cake pop.

Alayna's friend, Olivia, and her grandfather were sat at our table.  So was Samantha and her dad, John.  They tried to keep troops together, but seeing how I had two girls from two different troops, our table was designated a 'leftover' table - a girl from Abby's troop and her dad were also seated at our table.  Small talk galore, folks.

Sweet baby Jesus, the chaos. . .

Abby and some of her crew (including her current BFF, Allie, in the blue/green-ish dress.)

Waiting in line for the Chocolate Fountain. . .

As I said before, a lot of the dads I regularly hang out with were also at this dance with their own daughters (we all have girls, oddly enough), so while we were away at this dance, all the wives were enjoying wine and no kids over at the Collier residence.  As the night wore on, wives began demanding their husbands send them pics of the dance, so apparently all of us readily obliged but Pete (shown here.)  So, as a joke, I took this picture of Pete and 'his date,' and sent it instead.  The joke didn't go over well.

This song still pisses me off, twenty-five years later. . .

I got a ridiculous amount of dance pictures this evening - definitely a lot to whittle down.

Abby and her squad assumed position right in front of the DJ booth.  Unsurprisingly.

Little girls really get into that Cardi B chick. . .

Alayna's corsage (Abby's disintegrated earlier on in the evening. . . almost immediately upon arrival.)

Abby had put in this song request towards the beginning of the evening, and just as we were leaving they finally got around to playing it.  The big Spring Program for the Third Grade this year is a retro '50s musical, so all the third grade classrooms have been practicing singing a selection of rock and roll standards from the 1950's, and have consequently become fond of the genre.  This one is one of Abby's personal favorites.  I've rarely been more proud as a father.

One more selfie for Kris on our way out of the dance, nearly two and a half hours later.  We stayed longer at this dance than we had at any of the three previous dances I've been to.  I danced way more at this one, too - probably because my girls were older and there were two of them in attendance this time around.

From the dance, all the dads and daughters reunited with our wives at the Collier residence to have a few post-dance drinks and enjoy some Mexican food.  This sour ale from Bell's definitely hit the spot following a loooong night of dancing in dress shoes and eating my own f***ing weight in chicken strips and french fries (I consumed a month's worth of calories in one evening, I assure you.)

In a scene straight out of Kindergarten Cop, Pete tries convincing his daughters to start getting their shoes and stuff around so that they could head home.  The all-out chaos and total disregard for the enormous man in the room demanded a picture.  We weren't far behind, either - we ended up taking off about a half-hour after him, and the rest left right on our heels.  After an evening of dancing and sugar and fried fats, little girls most certainly crash hard.

- Brian