Thankskilling, Pt. II

(contd.) 

We had to get up relatively early this next morning, with our alarms all set for 6:30am/7am, in order to get us out of the door and down the block to Woodward Street (back by Little Caesar's Arena) for the parade's start. Abby had to get up even earlier, though, because her 'getting ready' process for pom was obviously more intensive. Once her and her teammates were all ready for their big day, they went downstairs and, by the looks of things, proceeded to take pictures with one another for roughly and hour and a half.

All-Star Pom, comprised of the best pommers from across the state of Michigan.

The Midland High contingent of All-Stars (Abby was one of two sophomores who made it onto the team.)

Abby and Mya

Abby and all the girls she shared a room with the night before.

(I forget who this one is - still getting used to the Varsity team pommers, who are mostly Juniors and Seniors.)

Abby with another one.

I think this one's called Sophia. . .

Another upperclassman.

. . . and another. Abby apparently had to get pics with all of the different MHS pommers this morning, Jesus. . .

Meanwhile, back on Woodward Street, we had found some great seats for the parade - right across from the Little Caesar's Arena, without a ton of people around. We still had a couple hours to kill before Abby and the All-Star team passed by - they were near the end of the parade - so that worried us a little. It was brutally cold out, and although we were bundled up decently, that's a lot of time to be out in the elements not moving about for warmth.

That SUCKS. . . 

Sitting on the curb, the three of us huddled together for warmth under one of those gigantic, fleece blankets Kris gets from Costco (we have like four or five of them at home, they're awesome.)

Miles away, the Pom teams performed some kinda routine at the beginning of the parade route (this was screen-captured from some local news broadcast, I think Abby found it.)

The parade finally reached us about an hour and a half after we had first sat down, with a contingent of cavalry cops riding eight abreast down the street.

All of these pictures are courtesy of Kris and Alayna - my hands were far too cold and numb to work my phone. I got frostbite bad when I was 17 and on the Ski Team in high school: it was like below zero temps and I was wearing racing gear, opting not to cover up better in order to look cool. As a result, decades later, my fingers and toes go numb almost immediately if it's below, say, 50 degrees, even with hand-warmers. Not ideal.

The floats today all seemed to be made by the same company - all the human figures on the various floats all had the same sorta look, like giant, three-dimensional cartoon characters come to life. More than a little unsettling.

See what I mean?

Alayna takes another selfie for one of her Social Media accounts.

The guy in that grey car is that one black actor from The Detroiters (not Tim Robinson, the other guy), I forget his name. Anyway, people started walking up to the edge of the street in order to get a better view of the parade, blocking off the folks on the curb's view of events. That sorta stuff usually happens at parade, but it's frustrating some people are that tacky and stupid (like this stupid lady and her ugly-ass kids.)

Another guest of honor in today's parade - Shooter McGaven from Happy Gilmore (I forget his real name, but most people refer to him as Shooter anyway.)

A mile or so away, the All-Star Pom Team was slowly but surely making its way closer to our location on Woodward.

Some creepy clowns, a whole crap-load of them. Kris was telling us that people pay something stupid like $1000 to dress up and participate as a clown in this parade. They pay, they're not paid. That's beyond stupid, that's why nobody likes clowns, they're morons.

The Cannonball, Kris, and Elmo, Shittiest of All Muppets.

Some Wizard of Oz float that Kris and Alayna were all excited about.

More asshole standing right in front of us.  Seriously hope all these people die in a car accident on their way to Thanksgiving Dinner. . . 

I had to wrap myself up in this blanket in order to stay warm. I had attempted to stand up and move about a little bit in order to stay warm, but it wasn't working - I was like shaking uncontrollably at this point (like Kris and Alayna could see me shaking from twenty feet away), and Kris made me sit back down and bundle up for a bit. I was beyond miserable. Alayna was nice enough to take a pic of me to share on Instagram, so that was pretty cool.

The All-Star Pom Team FINALLY decided to show up in our neck of the woods, about three hours into the parade. . .

All these girls look the same once their hair, make-up and uniforms are all done up, so while I was taking this video I had no idea which one of these was Abby. . . 

Halfway through the column of pommers, there was a little side-by-side driving along with an amp, playing the music the girls' routine was based on, and Abby was a few rows back in this second group following behind.

Kris spotted her eventually.

As the pommers marched by, Kris began to scurry along the sideline, keeping up with Abby in order to get more pictures of her. Good thing she was able to do so, by this point in time I couldn't feel my feet at all and could barely walk.

Kris' video, once the girls had stopped a little farther down from where they originally passed us.

Abby was freezing as well, but probably not as bad as me 'cause she was at least walking a few miles and doing a routine the entire time.

Once we had seen All Star's routine, we quickly walked back to the van and prepared to vacate the downtown area. Kris was convinced this was going to be impossible, seeing how a Lions game was about to kick off at the downtown area was swarming with people. On top of that, Woodward was still closed and getting back onto the highway was going to be tricky. Fortunately, we were able to backpedal a block or two and jump on I-75 in a matter of minutes. About a half an hour later, we were back at the Sheraton Hotel in Novi, waiting for Abby to get shuttled back.

Abby had boarded a shuttle bus about twenty minutes after we had seen her, so we didn't have to wait long in Novi, maybe 15 minutes or so. Kris and Alayna waited inside at the lobby's Starbucks ('cause of course it has a Starbucks on property.) I was still attempting to thaw from the bitter cold of the morning, and stayed back in Kris' van with the heat on full blast, still wrapped up in that Costco blanket.

After picking up Abby, the girls convinced Kris to stop off somewhere so the three of them could all grab some coffees. After that, we drove bit further down the road (not sure in which direction, I have no idea where anything is down in the greater Detroit area) and soon arrived in scenic. . . Romulus.

Arriving at Uncle Wayne's house around 2pm.

There weren't as many folks on hand this year as in previous years, mostly on account of Laginess extended-family drama that none of us were involved with, but while folks prepped food in the kitchen Kris and I hung out in the living room and watched the Lions completely eat shit once again.

At least the Halftime Show was awesome - can't complain with a Jack White performance. 

While folks were upstairs visiting, the girls hung out downstairs in the basement with their cousin, Lily (well, technically she's Kris' cousin - the youngest child of the youngest Aunt, Kris being the oldest child of the oldest Aunt. . . and there's like six of them.)

Jack brings out another Detroit legend, Eminem, during the show. This was seriously the only decent thing to be seen on TV today, the Lions were an embarrassment.

Alayna, Lily and Abby

Sampling new Christmas beers this afternoon. This one wasn't bad, but nothing to write home about.

This is how teenage girls pass their time and extended family functions.

Oh, and this too. Gotta make those stupid Tik-Tok videos. . . .

After eating at Uncle Wayne's and visiting with Kris' extended family for a few hours, we got back on the road and headed back up north towards Midland. Got back around, like, 10pm, and Samson was very, very happy to see us. Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion. . . 

to be concluded. . .

Thankskilling, Pt. I

Hey gang,

Thanksgiving, as you all know, is not the most anticipated Holiday of the year for Yours Truly. I've never been a huge fan of it, and most of that stems from the fact that it's more less a celebration of food, and relatively unhealthy food at that. Starches of shapes and sizes, sugar-laden desserts and dressings, tons of carbs and fatty dishes, and everything is some shade of brown for whatever reason. As someone who has made it a point to eat relatively healthy ever since I was in high school, having survived my middle school years overweight, there's not a whole hell of a lot to get excited about.

Abby grabbing something in the van's trunk on the drive down.

That, and the fact that growing up the Hough family was more or less cursed on Thanksgiving growing up. But I won't get into all that again, I've discussed all that before.

For the last decade or so, Kris and I have driven down to Romulus to celebrate Thanksgiving with her extended side of the family. Establishing headquarters at her Uncle Wayne's house, we'll spend most of the day with her mom's side of the family before swinging east (I think) about twenty miles and then popping in to her Uncle Jeff's to visit with some of her dad's side of the family. We make a day trip out of this downstate venture these days, usually getting home around 9pm or 10pm or so, and we've stuck to this routine every year since moving back to Michigan (with the exception of that Covid year, where, you know, society shut down and everything.)

Well, that's all gone out the window this year.

Abby tried out for and won a place on Michigan's All-Star Pom Team (back in July, during her Pom Camp at Northwood.) They take the best pommers from various schools around the state and create this giant, super-team of pommers, and they perform all over the world - going on trips, marching in parades, putting on shows and events, etc. We dropped a few hundred on Abby getting registered with this team, which seemed weird and frivolous 'cause it's not like they get together to practice or anything - they just pay for their spot then they have the option to participate in these big events that take place throughout the year.

Which brings us to today. Abby and the All-Star Pom Team were getting to march in Detroit's annual Thanksgiving Day Parade, straight down Woodward Street into the very heart of the city. The pommers were to be staying in a Sheraton hotel in Novi (pictured above), and had to be there around noon on Wednesday (today) in order to sign in, get their room assignments (they'd be staying in rooms of four to five girls from their school), and then start rehearsals or whatever. 

And, of course, this was an additional $300/$400 fee - the hotel room, the dinner, the shuttling of girls from the hotel in Novi to the staging point for the parade start in Detroit, their pom uniforms, etc.

Dropping Abby off at the Sheraton Hotel in Novi.

The rooms were only for the girls, mind you, so Kris, Alayna and I had to find our own lodging for Wednesday night. Kris wanted to be somewhere downtown so we didn't have to drive in at the ass-crack of dawn and fight tens of thousands of other spectators for parking, and began scouring the Internet for Airbnbs. Eventually, we found a spot about a block from Little Caesar's Arena, and about equal distance to Ford Field - right in the middle of everything. This area just off the I-75 ramps, on John R Street, looked like a mix between classic, Detroit sketch and hipster up-and-coming'ness. Kris fell in love immediately, but as I kicked an empty bottle of vodka on the sidewalk aside in order to access the front door of the 1920's-era apartment building (our rental was an apartment up on the fourth floor), I had my doubts.

So, after dropping Abby off and getting her situated with the pom coaches, her fellow teammates, and helping her find her room, we loaded back up into the van and drove down to our Airbnb. We unpacked our things and settled in, then loaded back up into the van and drove downtown to walk around and check out all the Christmas-y stuff they had set up down there (in like the Campus Martius and other public spaces down there.)

This will be the first installment of a Thanksgiving Trilogy, if you will, that will see us round out our first evening downstate with a lot of walking around in the frigid cold, following by an even colder morning watching the parade (for, like four f***ing hours), then driving about a half hour away to once again pass another Thanksgiving with Kris' extended side of the family in Romulus, before returning home late Thursday night. Finally, the very next day, we set off for Clare to have our becoming-traditional, day-after-Thanksgiving family get-together with my parents and siblings.

Then, you know, the whole putting up the Christmas Tree thing later that night (while drinking Christmas cocktails and watching Some Like It Hot, as tradition dictates.)

An exhausting, busy three days, to be sure, but we got a shit-load of great pics and video out of the ordeal, all for your viewing pleasure.

Behold. . .

Arriving at the rear-side of our Airbnb, early this afternoon.

Floor of the lobby from the main entrance. The Jacobs is over a hundred years old, and is in pretty rough shape (check out this news story from Fox 2 Detroit) - the elevator was busted so we had to haul all of our overnight stuff up four flights to get to our apartment rental.

Fortunately, when we got into our room, we were relieved that it was much nicer than the rest of the building. Clean, plenty of space, and well-decorated (we only rent places from top-tier owners on Airbnb, it's the only way to use that site.)

Well, I wouldn't call the view 'scenic' by any means. . .

The bedroom Kris and I stayed in for the night. The pillows were garbage and we both slept like shit, but the bed itself and everything else was fine.

The living room (or, the only room in the apartment.)

The bathroom was nice and clean, but definitely old.

Looking from the bathroom back into the living room/kitchen area.

Setting up the Cannonball's bed for the evening (the couch folded down and came with pillows and blankets, but Alayna - ever the princess - brought her own pillow and blanket from home.)

The kitchen (we utilized the fridge and the coffee maker while we were here, that's about it.)

Patiently waiting for my roommates to get situated.

Cannonball approved.

Once everyone was settled, we bundled up and set off for downtown.

Exiting the ca. 1910 lobby.

A couple-minute drive later, we were downtown, driving around looking for a parking place (I had kiboshed Kris' earlier plan of walking from our Airbnb into Downtown Detroit - while it would've been safe at 2pm, I wasn't convinced it would be so at 8pm.)

It took us a bit to circumnavigate the roads down here, because Woodward was completely closed off in preparation for tomorrow morning's big parade.

We were lucky enough to find cheap, $10 parking for the entire evening right across the street from Detroit's Music Hall.

Kris wanted to grab a late lunch/early dinner at this trendy spot she had seen on social media, so she plugged that into Google Maps and we started heading that way. Along the way, Yours Truly attempted taking as many pictures as possible, but my hands froze quickly whenever I took off my gloves to do so.

Saw a few plays at the Fox Theater back in High School on field trips - pretty awesome inside, worth checking out if you ever the get chance.

Kris nabs a selfie with Alayna (and me, in the background.)

Comerica Park, across the street.

This one block of Columbia Street (I think that's what it's called), had lights and leaves strung up overhead it's cobblestones, so Kris wanted to get a pic with this stuff as well (you're going to see a LOT of Kris selfies in this post, folks - you've been warned.)

Some old-ass firetruck, parked here illegally, I'm sure.

Kris saw this place on Instagram or Tik Tok or something, and wanted to check it out. Happy wife, happy life.

Inside is like an old, retro shake joint, but they also serve booze, which is sort of odd.

Waiting to be seated.

After being seated, Kris ordered this $16 sangria she saw (yes, online), that had prosecco and pinot grigio in it along with the usual sangria and fruit.  

She was very excited about this drink.

I spent a similar amount of money on a bloody mary, which came with a whole bunch of stuff (including a miniature hotdog, which was weird), but honestly it was a huge let-down. I've had dozens of better bloody marys at restaurants before, and even when I make my own they're way better than what I ordered here. Oh well, lesson learned.

The Cannonball and her giant shake, which had a person's weekly allowance of sugar all in one serving (just look at all the cookies, donut holes, and frosting lining on that thing. . . I'm surprised she didn't develop diabetes consuming that.)

The joint was all decked out for the Holidays, which I guess was part of the appeal for Kris, who was really wanting a Downtown Detroit Christmas experience this evening.

My roommates ordered some food, but I was good with the miniature hotdog that garnished my sub-par drink.

The Cannonball of course ordered a cheeseburger. No surprises there.

Kris may have broken her own personal record of Number of Selfies Taken in a 24-Hour Period.

Not sure if this is for SnapChat or Instagram, but it's certainly for one of 'em.

Kris found this hilarious.

After our meal, we headed back out onto Columbia Street or whatever the hell it's called and found that it had gotten even windier outside while we had been eating indoors.

Continuing on towards the heart of Downtown.

This dude on a kid's bike rode up to us as we were making out way down Woodward Street and tried peddling his crappy rap album to me for $5, but I lied and told him I didn't have any cash on me. He asked if I'd take a picture of the CD and share it on social media for him (whatever you say, crackhead). He also ad-libbed a few bars about my sideburns while we were standing there, so I guess I got a little rap for free. So I got that going for me. 

Woodward Street, all blocked off for tomorrow morning's big parade.

Kris was hunting for this giant, lit-up bear that was sitting outside Hudson's - she had some kinda checklist of things to do downtown that she kept referencing.

We popped into a few shops here and there as we walked down Woodward, but we didn't buy anything - just browsing indoors from time to time in order to stay warm.

This giant tree in some square downtown. Kris attempted to get a selfie of us in front of it at first.

They had this ice skating thing set up for people, along with a few porta-potties that were available for paying customers (we asked if we could just use it without renting ice skates, and the Gen Z'ers working the entrance couldn't have cared less.) 

Kris asked some old lady at one point if she would be willing to take a picture of us in front of that giant, Christmas tree, 'cause she didn't like the way her selfie turned out. The lady at first video-recorded us by mistake, then had a hard time figuring out how to work Kris' phone camera. Eventually her exasperated husband stepped in and saved the day.

After getting some pics around the tree area, Kris wanted to walk down Fort Street to visit the old church her and I got married in back in 2006. It was like a four-block walk, and we were definitely leaving the Christmas-y, tourist attractions downtown, but it seemed safe enough. Along the way, I spotted this billboard advertising a Private Investigator course. . . I didn't realize that was still a thing.

Fort Street Presbyterian Church, where Kris and I were married about twenty years ago.

Alayna wanted a couple with the two of us posed in front of it.

These are the doors we walked out of a couple decades ago, opens up to the main sanctuary.

After getting a few pics, I was all about heading back towards all the touristy stuff - it was getting dark out and we weren't around a ton of people or anything.

It was dark when we made it back to the Tree (I think this is the Campus Martius square, but I could be wrong.)

They had some little pop-up shops around too, kind of like a heated Farmer's Market, selling crap like candles, and Michigan-related gifts, kitschy home decor, etc. We didn't end up buying anything, but feigned interest so we could duck inside the shops and warm up (it was brutally cold out by this point in time in the evening.) On the far side of the row of shops, they had this 'lodge' erected, with tons of fake Christmas Trees and seating inside, food and drinks, and - most importantly - plenty of heating. 

We skipped the drink line (pictured here), I was far too cold to be enjoying a beer at this point.

Warming up by the fake fireside. We hung out in here for about twenty minutes, until we had thawed enough for our walk back to the van.

The previously-mentioned row of shops, with that giant Christmas Tree in the background.

Kris and Alayna, making a friend on the way out of the lodge.

We hit up a bunch of shops on our long walk back down Woodward, towards where we had parked Kris' van hours earlier. I'm not sure what store this was taken in.

. . . or this one.

Coming back to Columbia Street, now that it's all lit up. 

Yet another family selfie downtown.

After a long, frigid walk through Downtown Detroit, we finally arrived to the parking lot and found Kris' van just as we had left it. The building adjoining the lot was all lit up for the Holidays as well.

A (very) short drive later, we were back at Jacobs Manor. It was kind of pain in the ass to park out back behind the complex because there was a Red Wings game going on a block away, and a bunch of people had crowded into the private lot (which is permit only - we had one that was left in a lockbox for us so Kris' van wouldn't get towed.) Eventually we moved a few traffic cones and created our own spot for the night, then made our way up the four flights of stairs back up to the room.

Bye, Felicia.

We dropped off Alayna and all our crap, locked up the apartment, and then Kris and I went back downstairs. She really wanted to get an up-close pic of the Little Caesars Arena for Abby, who's been really into hockey the last year or so. It was only a half a block walk from our apartment building, and there were people out and about, so it wasn't too perilous.

Back upstairs, Kris and Alayna finished off their leftovers and I had a couple Christmas-y beers that I had packed for the trip (this one was pretty decent.) 

We watched Brooklyn 99 for a few episodes as we wound down for the evening, Yours Truly whittling down pictures off his phone and Alayna working on college assignments. Stay tuned for tomorrow's installment, gang.

- to be continued. . .