Irish Fest '24: a Return to Form

My St. Patrick's Day morning ritual.

'Sup, kids.

This was a different sort of St. Patrick's Day for the Houghs. We had been struggling with the pros and cons of throwing our usual St. Patrick's Day Party again this year, and after long consideration, we opted not to. 

The main reason for foregoing one of our favorite annual traditions was due the stress and time constraints of this particular party: unlike our annual Halloween Parties, where we have days if not weeks to prepare for it, with nothing else going on in the morning/afternoon leading up to the party itself, St. Patrick's Day is an all-day event that has us busy from the first thing in the morning until the party itself. 

It's straight up chaos.

As you all know, we always hit up Clare's Irish Fest in the morning, and the last few years where we've hosted St. Pat's Parties, we're always forced to leave Clare in the early afternoon and rush back to Midland in order to scramble like crazy in order to prepare for our evening's party. It prevents us from truly enjoying Clare because the Party - and the house/meal prep that it requires - is always on the back of our minds.

While enjoying my morning Jameson, I watched my traditional The Simpsons St. Patrick's Day episode, Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment.

This year we finally said 'screw it,' and decided to take our time in our hometown and really enjoy the Doherty and other local venues. It was a little disheartening to cancel what has become one of our friend group's annual big events, but afterwards we realize we had made the right choice. I'm not sure if we're officially done with Hough Family St. Patrick's Day Parties from this point forward, but after this year I'm not sure if we'll be doing another one any time soon. Maybe someone else in the friend group can spearhead this one from now on, we'll see.

So here you go, folks - kind of a different St. Patrick's Day with the Houghs this time around.

Behold. . .

Around 7:45am, Erik picked me, Collier, and Mitch up and we all headed over to The Boulevard - one of Midland's local dives - in order to get the day started right, with breakfast and Bloody Marys. They go all out with theirs, and I was not disappointed.

The day's heroes, holding court.

On our way to Clare, having wrapped up the Bully. The sky was kinda weird this morning.

Ready for action.

Coming in to Clare, driving past the annual Irish Fest 5K. . . that I didn't participate in once again (I can never find folks who want to run it with me.)

Upon arrival, Mitch and Erik show off their Irish Fest pub crawl shirts from a previous year (I forget which one, all these years seem to blend together after awhile.)

We decided to bypass the Doherty and head straight for Ruckle's to start things off downtown.

(That's a super-shitty radio station, in case you guys were curious.)

Ruckle's was still closed - which was kinda weird, seeing how it was already 9:30am or so by this point - so we just double-backed to the Doherty.)

This is power-washing done right, guys.

I want one of these signs for my bar downstairs.

When we got to the Doherty, it was still pretty sparse inside. For a normal day, that wouldn't be unexpected, but this is St. Patrick's Day - the biggest day of the year for this town - so seeing the Doherty so dead at this time of the morning was crazy. While the guys grabbed a table in the bar, Yours Truly went downstairs to the old men's bathroom.

I know every square inch of this building, having friends back in high school who used to work here that let me explore all the back stairwells and hallway corridors of this infamous building.

A glimpse into the back passageways that ultimately lead into the town's mob-era, underground tunnel system.

One of these days I'll have to head back there and check them out again. . .

Back upstairs, the hallways free of drunks and old faces from high school.

This will be shoulder-to-shoulder madness in a matter of hours.

Just look at how dead this bar is, it's insane.

Enjoying some Miller Lite and some grasshoppers (some kinda frozen drink that tastes like a Shamrock Shake from McDonald's.)

In the nearby banquet hall, the pipers were getting warmed up. I live for this shit.

The hotel bar starts to fill up.

The pipe and drum corps make their way into the bar (sorry my vantage sucks.)

Down in the men's room again, outside an egress window, there's this old painted mural holding back the earth. Definitely the thing of nightmares.

Kris and the girls showed up as we were wrapping up in the bar, so while Erik, Mitch, and Collier proceeded on to Ruckle's, I joined up with Kris and the girls (each girl brought along a friend, too) to check out the annual parade.

Ella accompanied us once again.

Erik spotted this leprechaun door on the side of Ruckle's, which I had never noticed before. Maybe it's new?

Erica, an exchange student from Korea, The Cannonball, Ella, and Abby get ready for the parade.

We met up with the McNerneys just as the parade was getting started downtown.

Kris and Sara.

Ready to check out various Township fire trucks and other such boring-as-f*** emergency response vehicles.

Jesus, I just hung out with this guy last weekend. . .

About a half an hour into the parade, Trevor and I left the wives and kids and made our way down to Four Leaf Brewing. . .

Their beer is pretty generic, but not terrible.

Meanwhile, back outside, the legendary Clown Band was making their way through the town's center.

With Trevor and I still over at Four Leaf, Kris took the girls over to Cops & Doughnuts The Clare City Bakery for some donuts and photo-ops. . .

The guys, meanwhile, were over at The Trap Door, a speak-easy styled whiskey bar, where they proceeded to throw back $18 bourbons.

Over at Four Leaf, the pipe and drum corps turned out to entertain the patrons. . .

Obligatory mug shot pics. . .

Of course she's inmate #666. . .

Ew.

Having wrapped up at Four Leaf, Trevor and I crossed the street to meet up with the rest of the guys (this new bar is located next to The Evening Post, which used to be Bob's Lounge.

Erica and the Cannonball.

Downstairs in the Trap Door. . .

Trevor got a free shot of tequila when Erik announced the entire bar that Trevor and I had just gotten married. Friends are cool like that.

The age-old Irish Blessing. . .

Wrapping up in the speak-easy.

Outside, on the main drag, the girls pose pics for, I assume, social media posts.

Selfies.

Kris got the kids food at a nearby food truck (chili cheese fries is the go-to favorite among these kids) and they stood by to check out the annual bed races.

. . . not that any bed race these days can compare to the glory that was Virgil Q's Dixieland Kazoo Revue's team, of course.

The guys at this point had decided to head back to Midland in order to get some much-needed naps in, so Trevor and I relocated to the Doherty, where we nabbed a standing table outside the banquet hall doors so that we could peak in and check out the band (which at first was the usual, generic rockabilly act.)

Pretty sparse in the hall, considering it was well into the afternoon and almost evening at this point.

Kris and Sara had ventured over to the Clare Primary School in order to check out a craft show, so I was tasked with watching the girls. . . which, at their age, isn't too difficult. They found some chairs in a neighboring hallway and were more than content playing on their phones and taking selfies. Occasionally Alayna would swing by our table and request a coke from a nearby auxiliary bar set up in the rear lobby. I had to walk her up there the first time and show her how to order and how much to tip, but from that point forward she handled it on her own. She's definitely my child.

We sent this pic of us with Tom Hages to Sean. At least his dad was cool enough to hang out with us this weekend.

Bathroom selfies in the Doherty.

Kris and Sara returned and took the girls across the street to place a to-go food order at TimeOut Tavern before we returned to Midland. So along the way, of course, they had to take another artsy selfie for the 'Gram.

Food trucks along McEwan. . .

Inside TimeOut Tavern, Trevor and I grabbed another couple beers while we waited for the food to come out.

Hometown Heroes. Once we finished these beers and the food was brought out, we gathered up all our kids and bid farewell to the McNerneys, setting off back to Midland.

One last shot of a Clare institution on our way back to the van. When we got back to Midland, Yours Truly took a two-hour nap and Kris and the girls ate their corned beef entrees. Around 9pm, Kris and I drove downtown to Three Bridges to meet up with the Johnsons, Colliers, and Bos' for a drink or two. It was packed full of Gen Z and millennial hipsters, and the music was far too loud - I was beyond annoyed by it all, which I didn't hide very well. After one drink there we said 'screw it' and headed home, where Kris and I watched a movie before crashing for the night. And so ends this year's St. Patrick's Day - a far cry from previous years, but waaaay less stressful, for sure. We'll see what next year brings. . .

- Brian