The Houghs: Germantown

Guttentag, frauleins.

Well gang, we had ourselves a somewhat random excursion this weekend, one that we were kinda surprised we hadn't undertaken before. The Larsons, Johnsons, and us decided we'd spend the afternoon/evening shopping and dining around Frankenmuth, the touristy, German-themed home of Bronner's, Zehnder's chicken, and the Bavarian Inn.

At a mere 40 miles from our house, it's crazy to think we hadn't taken the girls there yet - it's the mid-Michigan equivalent of Mackinac Island, for Christ's sake. Sure, they've been to Bronner's a dozen times or so, but that Yuletide behemoth is located on the outskirts of town, and therefore the girls have never before seen the main drag of the town, with all its shops, restaurants, and Aryan architecture.

It was high time Kris and I change that.

Well, right out of the gate, Alayna wanted nothing to do with this family adventure - she wanted to stay home, screw around on her phone, and not form core memories with the rest of her family. Abby was all about it, however, since she tends to appreciate family time more than her older, snarkier sister (and it didn't hurt that the Johnson and Larson girls - Ella and Sophie, respectively - would be going, and the three of them have been as thick as thieves for years.)

At the last moment, the Larsons had to back out of the day trip on account of Sophie suddenly getting sick or something, so it was just and the Johnsons today. We met them in the huge parking lot behing Zehnder's restaurant at 1pm this afternoon, and we promptly set off on our afternoon/evening walkabout of Michigan's Germanic tourist trap.

Behold . . .

Underneath Zehnder's, similar to what lies beneath the Bavarian Inn Restaurant, is a large mall-like area of shops, selling all kinds of home goods, food items, clothing, souvenirs, wines, etc. They have a cafeteria down there as well, that happens to sell the exact same, famous chicken as the notable restaurant above, just as half the frickin' price. We made special note of this.

After poking around the shops for a bit - and waiting for Courtney to finish stocking up on assorted baked goods - it was time to head upstairs and check out more of the downtown area.

Of course first Abby and Ella wanted to take a few weird pictures in these random benches. . .

With that many holes in them you can hardly call them jeans.

State-of-the-art waiting area for Zehnder's.

Outside, the girls demanded we take their pictures with these giant cartoon chicken thingies. . .

Some fountain with people on it.

We decided to tackle the River Place shopping district first, before double-backing and heading down the main drag in the opposite direction.

Making our way up the walkway into River Place.

Frankenmuth's famous Covered Bridge.

We told the girls to pose in front of it, so they pretended to check out the little waterfall-ish stream run-off down at the bottom right. Kids are great at following instructions.

The womenfolk head in (the kids at a sprint.)

The girls made a bee-line for the Enchanted Forest, which is some fairy/fantasy-themed gift shop filled with tons of expensive, breakable shit that we had no intention of buying them.

While the girls putzed around in that gift shop, we adults hit up the nextdoor Cherry Republic winery for some wine tasting. Didn't pick anything up this time around, but it was good.

Having warmed up with some wine in our gullets, we ducked into a nearby Irish gift store (full of handmade items from Ireland), where I picked up a wooden piece of wall decor (carved in a Celtic design) while Erik snatched up a woolen derby hat.

While Kris and Courtney went into some 'mom' store, Erik and I took the girls next door to the Pepper Palace. . .

The amount of dangerous hot sauces they had on hand in this place was staggering.

There were signs everywhere in here that said kids under 18 couldn't taste test any of the hot sauces, buuuuuuut. . . screw it.

Ella was a bigger fan of the spicy flavors than Abby, who's palatial preferences are more relatable to her mom's blandness.

We joined up with the wives in a nearby candle store, where the girls decided they were going to buy candles with one another's faces printed on them (a service the candle store provided for an additional fee.) Because that's the sorta thing teenage girls do, I guess.

Trying to wrangle children.

Erik and I didn't stick around the candle store for long before becoming bored out of our minds, so we left the girls in the care of the wives and walked down a little way towards the Grand Traverse Distillery for a brief whiskey flight.

Ella, Abby, and their finished candles. 'Money well spent,' I'm told. . . .

Candles secured, we continue on, hitting up other shops in River Place.

The girls make a new friend (it's a dummy - we wouldn't let Abby choke and kiss a stranger, our parenting skills aren't that crappy.)

The Johnsons wanted to go into this popcorn store that they make a point of stopping off at every time they're in Frankenmuth. . .

Tons of options (you see stores like this a lot up in Mackinaw City.)

The girls had posing in front of crap down to a science after a while (not sure why Abby is channeling Wednesday Adams here. . .)

Next stop - the candy store, where they specialize in diabetes.

A giant, gummy skull. Not wrapped in plastic or anything, just sitting out in the open to collect dust. Frickin' gross.

Abby wanted everything in this joint.

Abby and I, waiting outside for the others to finish up (we had her eat this pastry she had picked out earlier in the afternoon and been carrying around with her, as her trademark hangriness was starting to kick in.)

On to the next stop. . .

Erik and I grabbed a couple beers at this bar while Kris and Courtney ordered some pastry things and some alligator tail bites.

The pit stop.

While we snacked and drank, the girls hit up a few nearby arcade games.

Back outside, we decided to leave the River Place district and head downtown.

The womenfolk and their trusty dog.

Took the Covered Bridge to cross back over the river. The girls wanted to their pic taken in front of its entrance, so we had to rush a quick pic in between cars.

Utilizing the handy pedestrian walkways on either side fo the bridge.

(That's River Place on the left.)

Opposite end of the bridge.

Back in the downtown area, we headed into the Bavarian Inn Restaurant.

Abby and Ella make a friend.

Not at all racist.

Replace 'spicy' with 'naggy' and it'd be just about right.

Abby pays attention to signs.

Back outside we headed north, hitting up shops on the eastern side of the strip.

No idea what's happening with Abby's face here.

Some food truck we didn't stop at.

One of the busier shops downtown, the girls really wanted to check this place out.

. . . but not before the girls had to have their picture taken with this frickin' mouse.

The line inside to the register was insane, so Kris and I didn't pick anything up, but Erik grabbed some jerky for the girls.

At this point, Kris and Courtney wanted to clothes shop with the girls for a bit, so Erik and I continued north towards Frankenmuth Brewery.

Frankenmuth Brewery - one of the oldest in the state.

Couple of pints and a child-free pit stop was just what the doctor ordered.

Kris and I ate dinner here a couple years ago - great food in this place.

Meanwhile, a couple blocks to the south. . .

After our beers, Erik and I crossed the street and began making our way back south towards the others.

Popped into this kilt store to check out some of the various tartans.

Meanwhile, farther down the street, the girls decided to vogue on this sateen (is that the word?) outside another clothing store.

Erik and I both want to purchase Masonic kilts for Lodge (the Grand Lodge was issued an official tartan, so it's a legit pattern.) Unfortunately, they only had the cheaper acrylic version in stock - if I'm buying a kilt, I'm going to be buying the 'official,' wool one.

Some historic. . . sheep?

It was closing in on dinner time, and folks were starting to get hungry, so we started making our way towards Zehnder's.

Not sure what the story is behind this place.

The girls make yet another friend inside this candy shop. . .

We returned to the lower level of Zehnder's and nabbed ourselves a table in the cafeteria, where the famous chicken is half the damn price as it is upstairs in the fancier restaurant dining rooms. Kris and I got the normal chicken meal, but Abby insisted on chicken tenders.