Some Retreat... Thing

I believe this translates roughly to 'What up, dawg' in Hebrew.

Welcome back, America.

So this weekend, while Yours Truly was hilt-deep in Powder Puff Derby and God knows what else, Kris took Alayna up north on some kind of a Youth Retreat through her church, First United Methodist.

Now, obviously I wasn't here for any of this, so I'm not entirely sure what all transpired.  I mean, I get the basics of what took place, sure.  Yes, Kris talked extensively about all of the stuff they did, once she came back home, and yes, Kris took a bunch of pictures. . . so you'd think I'd have some solid understanding of what all went down.

But. . . damn it all if all that stuff went in one ear and out the other.

Not that I'm a rude husband by any means, I just can't memorize the tomes of information my wife dishes out in a conversation.  I'm more of a 'one-paragraph summary' sorta guy.

Anyway, brace yourself for my summation of Kris and Alayna's weekend up north.

Here we go. . .

They stayed in some complex near Boyne City, at the base of a hill somewhere, that had multiple bunk rooms.  Here you can spot the bunk of Alayna and Maddie (her BFF who accompanied her this weekend) - that leopard print fleece throw as a curtain is a nice touch.

Some sorta Common Room, I assume.

Kris had her own room, which is always bad-ass (I hate bunking with other adults.)

Like I said, this place was at the base of some hill, so the kids spent a lot of time outdoors sledding.

They had an ice rink there, too.  Alayna had never been ice skating before, so some random adult (I assume she was there on the Retreat as well), helped walk Alayna around until she got more comfortable on a pair of skates.

. . . and I guess they had to shovel the snow off the ice?

I think Maddie has some prior experience with this.  She looks more comfortable on the ice than the Cannonball.

Some lady with my kid.

A couple of white girls, thinking they're all cool.

Okay, so I don't know the context here, but it totally looks like this kid just punched the shit out of Maddie and she collapsed into a snow bank.

 

Who is supervising all this?

Kris swoops in for a selfie.

Put a damn coat on, kid.  It's not cool to pose outside without a coat on.  Only teenagers think that's cool.

No more shovel nonsense, here.

Atop the sledding hill (I assume.)

Aside from all the Wintery fun crap the kids did, I guess the main reason all these kids and parents were away at this Retreat  thing was to get down with some Church stuff.  That dude standing up there is the Youth Pastor at Kris' church, and he'd lead kids in study sessions or whatever.  Once and awhile, though, to give the kids a break, they'd play indoor games, like this one where kids have to guess who a murderer is (like Heads Up, Seven Up, but with death and shit.)

. . . okay, I'll be honest - I have no idea how this game works.

 

And, in closing, here's Kris with two other chicks.

- Brian