The Return of Mr. Charles E. Cheese

Believe it or not, Abby's going to be turning 3 on May 21st.

The toddler years went fast.

Anyway, we decided to celebrate her birthday a little early this year, seeing how my parents were going to be flying into Orlando for the weekend and it's always nice to throw a shin-dig when there are grandparents afoot.

Now, as when Alayna turned 3, this year we decided to have Abby's birthday at Chuck E. Cheese's. . . that sadistic, rollerblading son of a bitch that did away with Showbiz Pizza Place and consequently robbed my offspring of a whoop-ass childhood.  Abby's been pretty pumped up about turning 3 - it's all she talks about - so we figured she needed a blow-out this year in order to celebrate the affair.  As much as we both despise all things Chuck.

Unlike her sister, who was foaming at the mouth for all things Finding Nemo for her 3rd birthday, Abby's been pretty obsessed with Periwinkle, a frost fairy - and Tinkerbell's long lost sister - from the Disney's Secret of the Wings (one of their Pixie Hollow straight-to-DVD disasters that are more or less heroin for girls under 5).  Taking this borderline-creepy fixation with a frost fairy into consideration, it was up to Kris to create a Periwinkle birthday cake.

So, the evening before the big blow-out, Kris began her four hours of slaving away in the kitchen, trying to replicate the front fairy in question.  Fortunately for us, Dad and Cindy offered to take both girls to stay the night with them at their suite (at the Sheraton Vistana Villages Resort).  This kept the kids out of her air, and gave Yours Truly an opportunity to watch the rest of the History Channel's Hatfields & McCoys (highly recommend it).

Anyway, here's the rundown on how Abby turned 3.

Enjoy. . .

Trying to capture that periwinkle blue. . .

That penguin's a badass with a bread knife.

Adding hair. . .?

You know that one kid on the playground who always has crap all over her face, dirt in her hair, scrapes on both knees, and snot coming out of either nostril?  That's this kid.

Abby got some new kicks from Grandma and Papa John.  They're supposed to be part of her main gift, but we couldn't find other shoes to go with the outfit she picked out, so she got these early. . .

Abby checks out her birthday cake. . .

Establishing headquarters at Chuck E. Cheese's. . .

. . . and at such a reputable, high-class joint, one can expect to be served either domestic beer or wine from a tap into a plastic cup.  Not that it matters much at a place like Chuck E. Cheese's.

Rollin'

Guests were pretty slow to arrive for Abby's party, so for the first twenty minutes or so - after Nana and myself snagged 'coffees' and the kids were given tokens - we hit up rides/games while we waited for everybody.

Papa, Nana, and an Obnoxiously Still-Relevant Purple Dinosaur with Downs Syndrome

The first of many 1 token snapshots. . .

I wish they made this kind of thing for adults.  And it played spaghetti western scores by Ennio Morricone.

Hail, hail - the gang's all here.

Served.

This lasted about twenty minutes.

. . . Chuck makes his not-so-grand entrance.

Abby officially freaks out. . .

"I dub thee 'THREE'!"

Abby now suffers from PTSD.

Surprisingly enough, she got this on the first try.

Receiving her medal for Outstanding Ability to Pay for a Birthday Party Without Leaving a Tip for the Hostess.

Alayna wanted to go home with Chuck.  There's a billion things wrong with this.

NOW she likes the cake.

Our kids - like most - will ingest sugar in any form, for any occasion.

Honestly, I was surprised they were using silverware. Or should I say, plasticware.

Yes, Yours Truly got to take Abby into the Ticket Blaster. . . which should really be called the Toddler Tube of Terror.

Abby initially freaked out - and I was genuinely afraid she was going to piss herself (which would've been awkward for guests and employees alike) - but by the end of the 'Blast she had somewhat collected herself.  We didn't get shit for tickets, though. . .

When a random three-year-old managed to sneak up into the bowels of the ceiling tube complex, it was up to plucky, little Kristina Hough to scurry up into the chaos and rescue said child.

Handsome dudes.

Cindy actually rocked the bejesus out of this game.

Not sure if this was either a luck or skill-based game. . .

. . .but I guess they did okay with it.

Posing for a snapshot with the grandparents.  **NOTE: Kris breaking the birthday girl's arm while a couple of random kids look on.**

Homegirls.

Discussing hair color, the escalating violence in Syria, and My Little Pony.

Packing up the plunder. . .

We've had worse family portraits.

She was hit-or-miss with the whole crown thing.

Window shopping, waiting to cash in tickets. . .

On our way back to the house, where Abby would soon tear into her loot like a Mongol savage.

- Brian