Cannonball's Fourth

Hey guys,

I'm not one of those sappy types, but the fact that I have a FOUR YEAR OLD kid freaks me the hell out.

Seriously.  I produced a human being, and kept it alive until it was four.   

That's crazy.

The Cannonball, who, four years ago today, burst forth into this world in a painless, drama-free, five minutes of labor, celebrated her birthday this weekend.  Now, generally we theme such birthday celebrations around whatever the hell it is Alayna's into at the time.  Two years ago, it was Yo Gabba Gabba.  Last year, it was Finding Nemo (which was weird she wanted that, seeing how, at that point in time, she was obsessed with Tangled and the '80s staple The Care Bears.)

What's up, 1986 hotties. . .

This year?  Jem and the Holograms.

I don't know if you grew up in the '80s, but if you did, than you most certainly remember this chick.  God knows I do - she's the first girl I ever had a crush on.  Truly, truly truly outrageous.  Big hair.  Vegas whore makeup.   Hell, she's still hot.

Anyway, the show's main character is a girl named Jerrica Benton, the daughter of a millionaire philanthropist who - for reasons beyond all rational thought - has some kind of a computer command center in her basement ("Synergy") wherein the ghost of her dead mother resides. 

Yup.

Yeah, this Jem chick?  HUGE tramp. . .

This computer has, like magic powers or something - I don't know - that, when channeled through a pair of star-shaped, red earrings (and accompanied by magic words "Showtime, Synergy!") transform Jerrica into the one and only rock goddess, Jem.

Every episode of this clusterf*** of a show revolves around Jem and the Holograms (her band) trying to accomplish some mundane task in order to boost their record sales, score some kind of a gig, save some orphanage, what have you.  While this is happening one of two other bands - the Misfits (sans Glenn Danzig, strangely enough) and/or the Stingers (some gay West Germans who may or may not have superpowers) - attempt to murder and/or date-rape them.

I assure you I'm not making any of this up.  Go check it out - all three seasons are available for free streaming on Netflix.  That's why I never get to watch TV or play my Wii anymore, folks.

Anyway.

So, like Abby's birthday a month ago, we decided to keep things simple this year.  We just bought a house - we're still up to our elbows in unpacked cardboard boxes, clutter, and debris - and we didn't feel like hosting a full-blown party (like the one she had last year at Chuck E. Cheese's).  We did, however, invite the Voigts over, but, alas, Uncle Clint couldn't make it.

*Sad clown face. 

Burger Kings

While Kris and Lindsey occupied the girls and got dinner around, Adam and I set off on a miniature quest: to buy the last supplies needed to throw up the bookcase. . . and of course to buy beer. 

As you may or may not recall, readers, our new house is sans-Library, which is one of its chief drawbacks.  There is no specific room set aside for all my books, so we had to get creative with where we end up sticking my mountain of books.  Initially, I had suggested occupying an entire wall of my study with bookshelves, but that wasn't feasible seeing how two walls of that room are taken up by closets and windows. . . there would be no space left for any of my other crap.

So, with all other options shot, we had no choice but to shelve the books in the Living Room along one of the smaller walls.  Adam and I drove to Home Depot and picked up a few more brackets and mounts, and then headed back to the house just as the girls were sitting down to dinner.

Shortly afterwards, we did the whole cake and presents song and dance. 

Check it out:

Birthday cupcakes for Alayna's classmates. . .

(This series of pictures would be a lot cooler had I uploaded the ones featuring her classmates. . . but I'm hesitant to publish pics of other folks' kids.  Call me crazy, but I think some parents might have a problem with that.)

Alayna's usual 'I'm embarrassed' mannerisms during a class chorus of "Happy Birthday". . .

Kris, hard at work on the Cannonball's Jem and the Holograms cake. . .

Guffaw!!

Finished product

Opening up gifts from Grandma and Papa John. . .

New dress-up skirt

Chicken nuggets = happy toddlers.

Family portrait.  Not our worst.

Bwah?!  Kris turned into a dude?!

Noise makers.  They had a life expectancy of 10 minutes.

Gift-opening begins. . .

Flashlight?  Totally my idea.  What kid doesn't like screwing around with a flashlight?  Seriously.

Obviously I had to order one on Amazon for Abby, too - otherwise there would be a giant shit-storm waiting for us.  Can't wait for this crap to be behind us. . .

Grandma Jordan's confetti disaster. . .

The Voigts bought her Legos for her birthday this year.  I like to think these were also for me, though.

Successfully occupied.

 

Megapetz.  Or whatever the hell they're called.  I don't know - kids take to these like hobos to crack.  Or Mad Dog 20/20.

A couple Tinkerbell DVDs from Papa and Nana - a Hough House favorite.  We see a lot of that chick.

Cake Time.

This is the scariest face my daughter has ever made. . .

As the gift unwrapping came to a close, Adam and I decided to throw the bookshelves up.  This, unfortunately, took much longer than anticipated, and - long story short - we didn't wrap up until nearly 9pm.  This cut into beer-drinking and fake-mustache-wearing time (long story), but we made due and squeezed as much of that in as humanly possible.

Smurf it:

 

See the TV?  Jem and the Holograms, people.

Photo © Cannonball

 

 

Observe the book shelving in the background - in a few weeks we're going to buy some wood, paint it white, and enclose the shelving so it looks like a bookcase.  I think I'm going to have to buy an additional shelf or two as well. . .

 

 

Abby probably had the most impressive mustache out of all of us.. .

 

Houghs.  Mustachioed.

More of our roommates.

- Brian