DAMN-uary

Welcome back to the ongoing saga, boys and girls.

This has definitely been a slooooow month, and I, for one, am sincerely grateful.  After the Holiday blitzkrieg, we really needed some down time around here.  The month of January seems to have a lot in common with September, in that they both are devoted to returning to the usual school/work grind after taking considerable time off to lounge around the house, gaining weight.  Yours Truly has stayed on top of running on the treadmill since October, but even that didn't stop me from putting on a few pounds (thanks to all the Holiday parties, filled with delicious and unhealthy food and booze.)  We're not big on resolutions in this family, but getting back into healthy eating habits was paramount this month.

There were some other notable events that happened this month.  A euchre tournament at the Collier's, a couple Girl Scout outings, and, of course, my ascension to the highest rank of Masonry:  Master Mason.  I achieved this rank in a very short amount of time, as I studied religiously for this final degree, and now that I'm officially a highest-ranking member in the Freemasons, I can go on to explore some of the appending bodies of Masonry (York Rite, Scottish Rite, Shriners, etc.)  I'll keep you posted with those developments as they transpire.

Oh yeah, and we got another dog.  He's a pain in the ass, so he fits right in.

In closing, here's some pictures of the four-and-a-half months that was January.

Enjoy.

So here's a picture of my lodge (the top floor, the left half of the building), around one hundred and fifty years ago (it turns 150 in April, technically.)

Shortly after the Holidays settled down, Kris bought some white paint to redo Abby's bedroom.  No longer into Star Wars (sad as that is), she'd been wanting a beach-themed bedroom, and the formerly dark grey walls weren't really giving off that vibe.  Kris was able to really lighten up the room with a couple coats of primer and a couple additional coats of paint.  I didn't help out with this in any way, shape or form.

While Kris was painting her room, Abby got to hang out with some friends at the Roll Arena.

 

Decor getting thrown up on the walls (okay, I did that part.)

A beach-themed picture display above her dresser, lights courtesy of Dad and Cindy.

A far cry from the greys and purples of her pre-renovated room. . .

Both girls have been really into sewing lately, thanks to my mom, who showed them how to do it one day over at her house.  She gave them needles and various threads, along with random fabrics so they can practice and make God knows what.

 

The Larsons' kid, Sophie, hanging out one day for some more f***ing sewing. . .

I came home from work one day to find these signs plastered all over the door to our basement.  I blame the spelling on their Farwellian mother's genes.

Running around the neighborhood one afternoon, following a nasty ice storm that coated everything in dangerous ice (to the point where we had the kids put on helmets if they were running around the sidewalks.)

One of the gifts Abby got from my mom for Christmas this year was a gift certificate to Build-a-Bear (where kids can custom-build their own stuffed animal from scratch.)  Unfortunately, the closest location was down in Grand Rapids, in some mall in Grandville.  So one Saturday we drove down in the morning to get Abby her Goddamned stuffie. . .

Taking an elevator down to the first floor (this mall was slightly more fancy that the Midland Mall.)

Let the up-selling begin. . .

After picking out her animal's 'skin' (for lack of better term), it was time to get the animal filled with stuffing.  Abby went with a rainbow-colored cat.

 

This whole process is so frickin' bizarre. . .

Hooking the cat up to the fluff tube.

No idea what's happening here.

Abby places a red heart into the corpse, thereby giving it life.

(This isn't a real bath.)

Once they sell you a $25 stuffed animal - with options to pick a scent for $5, a heart for $5, an audio recording for $10, etc. etc. - you then get to pick out an outfit.  Rest assured, each article of clothing costs about $5 apiece, so one drops $50 on one f***ing stuffed animal real quick.

Holding up her new, over-priced stuffed cat and a certificate of adoption.

After our nightmare at Build-a-Bear, we swung over to BP's house to hang out with the DeBoer fam for a few hours.  BP recently got into vinyl, and he just completed his setup.  Not bad for a novice.

Awaiting my Master Mason degree at Lodge.

After my initiation ceremony, Erik and I met up with a bunch of other dads over at the Boulevard Lounge for some celebratory beers.

To mark the occasion, I had this custom-made .925 Sterling Silver Masonic ring made on Etsy.

This symbolizes Memento Mori (one of our principles in Masonry.)  Worth the price, for sure.

Finally got around to replacing the cabinet hardware in the kitchen.  Happy Wife, Happy Life.

My lodge donated a bunch of hats and mittens to Chestnut Hill this month, one of our charities that we run every year.

The girls set this up in the living room one evening.  God knows why.

Aldi recently started selling boxed wine.  I'm a happy camper.

Alayna is 11 going on 16 these days.

The girls have been playing a lot of chess lately.  I'm 100% cool with this.

I didn't know such a thing existed, but I definitely want one now. . .

One of the rare days this month that actually felt like winter.  It's been eerily warm, and without much snow at all, for most of the month.

Watson shows Samson the ropes.

Samson is obsessed with Abby. . .

Setting up teams for the Colliers' ridiculously-intricate Euchre Tournament.  There was a $10 buy-in for all players, and instead of full-on games, 24 players were scrambled up at random and would play through two deals per player before ending each round in the tournament.  However many points you and your random partner received would then be entered into a spreadsheet (which was displayed via a monitor that Ryan put atop his TV, shown here.)  At the end of nine rounds, whomever won the 1st, 2nd and 3rd places (based on total accumulated points), won $100, $80, and $60, respectively.  The last two point values would have to perform karaoke for everyone else.

For most of the evening, Kris was in the bottom two, and she was mortified at the prospect of singing in front of other people.  This doesn't bother me in the slightest, so - being the chivalrous husband that I am - I told her that if she finished in the bottom two places I'd step in and take her place.  Alas, she finished third-from-last, as Ryan - the host himself - finished second-to-last, and assumed her karaoke spot.  Stephanie ended up finishing dead last, and when she heard of my husbandly gesture, she made her husband, Lonnie, fill in for her.

 

I forget what highly-homosexual duet these two did, but it was damn funny.

- Brian

More from the Holiday Season

Seasons Greetings, Cyberspace!

Everyone in this house has their eyes set on Dec. 20th - that's the last day of school before Christmas Vacation for 80% of the household (sorry, Kris.)  As we all run through gauntlet that is the last week of waking up early, dealing with kids (or teachers), or - in Watson's case - being stuck in a crate all day, here's a little snapshot of what's been going on around here lately.

Smurf it:

Suckin' in a Winter Wonderland.  Detroit back to being Detroit.

Abby shows affection by grabbing the closest living thing next to her in a headlock and squeezing the life out of it.

The Lions can't play in snow?!  They live in MICHIGAN!

On my way out the door the other morning, I stopped into the girls' bedroom to say goodbye to Abby, and this is what I found.  Someone decided to 'put her makeup on.'

I can't turn around in my house without seeing this.

Time for this year's batch of Christmas Cookies. . .

If this dough looks all jacked up, it's because we used wheat flour (having cut enriched flour from our diets, like a bunch of frickin' hipsters. . .)

Nothing hotter than a woman baking in the kitchen. . .

Abby strikes a pose with her umbrella. . .

. . . no idea why these are open inside the house, though.  Apparently these chicks aren't superstitious.

Alayna sits down for a Q & A session with some of her stuffed animals while waiting for the cookies to bake. . .

Guess how often dads get to take a nap around here?  Did you guess 'never'?  'Cause that was the right answer, if you did.

'Decorate one, eat one' seems to be the unofficial rule around here.

The apparent goal for my daughters while decorating Christmas cookies was to squeeze as many chocolate chips onto one, solitary cookie as possible.  They both got pretty good at it.

Yes, it's what it looks like.

MORE CHOCOLATE CHIPS!!!

Nothing says 'Christmas' like Smurf Blue.

In you face, Fox News!

. . . next year I think we'll make sure we have all the right colors of frosting before we start making cookies.  Oh yeah, and sprinkles.

Watson claims his first victim from the Hough Family Stuffed Animal Trove. . .

One of my favorite beers - Founders Breakfast Stout - now available at Knightly Spirits (my favorite beer store, conveniently located right around the corner from my house. . .)

You didn't see this. . .

A raccoon was cornered up in a palm tree at my school the other day.  As if our middle schoolers weren't already distracted enough as it is with Christmas vacation coming up and everything.  Throwing a rabid animal on campus was the last thing any of us needed. . .

The Merry Irishman - got this recipe from my brother, Chris.  Not too bad, if you follow the directions of the recipe, but I ended up cutting the amount of peppermint schnapps and upping the whiskey (I'd rather taste Tullamore Dew than candy cane, personally.)

Watson assumes his usual position while riding in the car. . .

Another evening spent battling kids to finish their dinner at the kitchen table.   Thug life.

Working on homework (Alayna's had quite a bit of this year so far in Kindergarten, but fortunately most of it is really easy for her, since she's somewhat ahead of the rest of her class. . .)

Non-Christmas Holiday Stress - had to replace my oil pan after noticing a bad oil spot on our driveway.  $300 later, I have a fancy new (well, technically used) oil pan.  Surprisingly enough, this was not on my Christmas List this year.

Grandma sent a festive toilet seat cover for the girls (at least I assumed it was for the girls - it may have been for me.)

Hanging out in my Study, about to battle it out in yet another game of Candyland. . . 

We've been piling all the Christmas presents in this room, as the girls are seldom in it.  All the gifts from 'Santa' - as well as some of the bigger, more-obvious ones - are hidden away in the closet, though the girls are pretty good about not snooping around them.  This may be the last year we can stockpile them in plain, open sight, though. . .

This is Abby's absolute favorite thing to do.  Consequently, I play this games about 4 - 5 times a day.  99% of the time, Abby wins.

BING!!!

- Brian