Pom Camp '26

Hey kids.

The state of Abby's packing where, according to her, she's 'finished.'

Abby, as you know, was bumped up to the Varsity Pom Team at Midland High last year (one of a small handful that was poached from the JV team at the end of her freshman year), and has been leaning hard into her pom stuff this last year even more than she used to. For the last few years, she's been attending the annual Pom Camps every July at Northwood University, staying in the Dubois dormitory alongside her teammates and various pom teams throughout the region, and spending her days drilling new pom routines, conditioning, and taking part in team-building activities that strengthen the varsity squad. 

My attempt at getting a pic of Abby after she was set up in her dorm room. 

This year's camp ran from Tuesday to Friday, and so with Kris at work the first day of the camp, Yours Truly dropped her off at the dorms and got her situated in her room. Then, each evening around 6:30pm, us parents would return to Northwood in order to watch Midland High - along with all of the other schools participating at the camp - perform the exact, same routine for judges to review (the varsity teams performed a certain routine, and then the middle school and JV teams performed a different one.) 

Abby roomed with Brooklyn this year, and this is their door.

Is it repetitive (and super boring) watching twelve different teams perform an identical routine to the same song? Absolutely. But as parents that's the sorta thing you signed up for when you decided to have kids - it's not like we're not going to watch our kid perform at a school function, c'mon.

So we had four evenings full of pom routines this week, and Abby (and all the other kids there) wore themselves out drilling day in and day out. I don't know how the hell they do it, practicing and performing from breakfast until the time they go to bed each night, then getting six hours of sleep and repeating the process all over again. But hell, whatever floats their boat, I guess - all the kids involved with this sport seem to love it.

I took like 99% of the pics and video clips below straight off Abby's phone, so I don't know the details with most of it, but I did my best to arrange them all in chronological order and give them some context for you. About the same as the last two years she's done this whole Pom Camp thing, we're just gonna take a stab at how her week looked sifting though the dozens of pics she took of her and her teammates throughout the week. I'm sure she could do a much better job at explaining all of this to you folks, but, like I've said before, I'm the only one who contributes to this blog anymore so you're stuck with my two cents here.

Enjoy. . .

Midland Varsity Pom, on Day 1 of Pom Camp - ready to get to work at practice.

The team's mascot (or pet, not sure what the culture here is), watching the team practice their High Kicks.

That chick in the black is the designated 'trainer' or 'staff member' from the camp (usually a recently-graduated varsity pommer from another school who works for the camp program), teaching the team the day's assigned routine at practice.

Each day the teams receive a new routine and they have to drill it all damn day, then perform it for the judges (and whatever families members show up) in the evening. Abby's second from left in this one.

Team huddle (or something.)

A pic of team, somewhere on campus (the seniors get to wear a sash throughout the week, I guess.)

We had to buy multiple 'spirit day' shirts for Abby, as we do every year when she attends this camp, which was not included in the camp's ridiculous registration fees. 

I don't have the patience to be a pom coach, I'd straight up murder some teenage girls over something like this.

At practice on Day 2 (I think.) Not sure what's up with this pedophile flag, here.

This must be Northwoods' indoor football or soccer complex (I didn't know they had one.)

The trainer leads the kids through a new routine.

Summoning dark spirits from the abysmal plains to aid them in their evening performance.

Midland High, performing their new routine for the judges and families.

Logan showed up on Day 2 and brought Abby flowers, so Abby asked if I'd take them home for her and put them in a vase of water so they wouldn't die in her dorm room. So I obviously looked pretty cool just standing around bored, holding flowers.

Logan and Abby, following the conclusion of the evening's routines.

These two are a couple of dorks.

No idea.

Abby, Nica, and Brooklyn, showing off their new pom camp sweatshirts (we paid $50 for hers, in case you were curious - she'll wear it twice, spill coffee on it, and never wear it again.)

This generation's new obsession with shitty point-and-shoot cameras is weird.

Another team huddle, I'm guessing on Day 3.

Or maybe Day 4, I don't know - they wear the same uniform for every evening performance.

(Abby is in the back row, on the left.)

Practicing the kick line again.

Day 4 Pom Routine

The bleachers they have here are absolute murder on one's back, so Erik and I got into the habit of bringing camping chairs and sitting off to the side. He wasn't able to show up on the last day of the camp (because they held the final performance at noon, right before pick-up at the end of camp), so I sat off to the side of the bleachers by myself. Kris or Alayna took this pic of me sleeping during one of the other team's routines. Sue me, this shit gets super boring when it's not your own kid's team on the stage.

Following the end of the performances, there was about an hour's lull where kids just ambled around the gym, taking pics with one another and dancing along to music that was blasting over the gym's PA system. We had to kill some time before they announced this year's All-Star Pom Team for the state (Abby once again tried out for the team this year, which should be nice and expensive for us), so we had to sit around and wait for the results. In the meantime, while we sat around bored, Abby went around getting pics with all of her friends and teammates (like Brooklyn here.)

With Nica.

Of course with her best friend, Ella.

Abby and Ella do their custom 'handshake,' which they've had since they were like 10 years old.

A pic with Emma.

One with her coaches.

I don't know who this is, I forget her name.

Not sure who this is, either - but she's been on the team with Abby for years.

Abby, Ella and Harper recreate their old Northeast Middle School Pom pose.

I'm not familiar with this pose, must be some new viral thing all the kids are doing these days on social media.

The frickin' scuba thing.

The dreaded Six-Seven.

Abby and some old chick, holding up participation ribbons (I think.)

Dancing along to 'Macarena.'

After an hour, they announced the All Star Pom Team, and the girls here from Midland's High's team - including Abby and Ella - qualified this year. So now the Johnsons get to spend Thanksgiving down in Detroit with us this year, and drop an arm and a leg on that whole shit-show.

Abby poses with their team's designated staff trainer after Midland High took the Grand Prize for this year's Pom Camp (they were deemed the best pom team at the camp for the second year in a row, which Abby was super excited about.)

Probably talking about something super important here.

The team, posing with their hard-won trophy.

Abby and her awards from this year.

Money well spent, right? Whatever makes your kids happy, folks. FML.

- Brian

Thankskilling, Pt. II

(contd.) 

We had to get up relatively early this next morning, with our alarms all set for 6:30am/7am, in order to get us out of the door and down the block to Woodward Street (back by Little Caesar's Arena) for the parade's start. Abby had to get up even earlier, though, because her 'getting ready' process for pom was obviously more intensive. Once her and her teammates were all ready for their big day, they went downstairs and, by the looks of things, proceeded to take pictures with one another for roughly and hour and a half.

All-Star Pom, comprised of the best pommers from across the state of Michigan.

The Midland High contingent of All-Stars (Abby was one of two sophomores who made it onto the team.)

Abby and Mya

Abby and all the girls she shared a room with the night before.

(I forget who this one is - still getting used to the Varsity team pommers, who are mostly Juniors and Seniors.)

Abby with another one.

I think this one's called Sophia. . .

Another upperclassman.

. . . and another. Abby apparently had to get pics with all of the different MHS pommers this morning, Jesus. . .

Meanwhile, back on Woodward Street, we had found some great seats for the parade - right across from the Little Caesar's Arena, without a ton of people around. We still had a couple hours to kill before Abby and the All-Star team passed by - they were near the end of the parade - so that worried us a little. It was brutally cold out, and although we were bundled up decently, that's a lot of time to be out in the elements not moving about for warmth.

That SUCKS. . . 

Sitting on the curb, the three of us huddled together for warmth under one of those gigantic, fleece blankets Kris gets from Costco (we have like four or five of them at home, they're awesome.)

Miles away, the Pom teams performed some kinda routine at the beginning of the parade route (this was screen-captured from some local news broadcast, I think Abby found it.)

The parade finally reached us about an hour and a half after we had first sat down, with a contingent of cavalry cops riding eight abreast down the street.

All of these pictures are courtesy of Kris and Alayna - my hands were far too cold and numb to work my phone. I got frostbite bad when I was 17 and on the Ski Team in high school: it was like below zero temps and I was wearing racing gear, opting not to cover up better in order to look cool. As a result, decades later, my fingers and toes go numb almost immediately if it's below, say, 50 degrees, even with hand-warmers. Not ideal.

The floats today all seemed to be made by the same company - all the human figures on the various floats all had the same sorta look, like giant, three-dimensional cartoon characters come to life. More than a little unsettling.

See what I mean?

Alayna takes another selfie for one of her Social Media accounts.

The guy in that grey car is that one black actor from The Detroiters (not Tim Robinson, the other guy), I forget his name. Anyway, people started walking up to the edge of the street in order to get a better view of the parade, blocking off the folks on the curb's view of events. That sorta stuff usually happens at parade, but it's frustrating some people are that tacky and stupid (like this stupid lady and her ugly-ass kids.)

Another guest of honor in today's parade - Shooter McGaven from Happy Gilmore (I forget his real name, but most people refer to him as Shooter anyway.)

A mile or so away, the All-Star Pom Team was slowly but surely making its way closer to our location on Woodward.

Some creepy clowns, a whole crap-load of them. Kris was telling us that people pay something stupid like $1000 to dress up and participate as a clown in this parade. They pay, they're not paid. That's beyond stupid, that's why nobody likes clowns, they're morons.

The Cannonball, Kris, and Elmo, Shittiest of All Muppets.

Some Wizard of Oz float that Kris and Alayna were all excited about.

More asshole standing right in front of us.  Seriously hope all these people die in a car accident on their way to Thanksgiving Dinner. . . 

I had to wrap myself up in this blanket in order to stay warm. I had attempted to stand up and move about a little bit in order to stay warm, but it wasn't working - I was like shaking uncontrollably at this point (like Kris and Alayna could see me shaking from twenty feet away), and Kris made me sit back down and bundle up for a bit. I was beyond miserable. Alayna was nice enough to take a pic of me to share on Instagram, so that was pretty cool.

The All-Star Pom Team FINALLY decided to show up in our neck of the woods, about three hours into the parade. . .

All these girls look the same once their hair, make-up and uniforms are all done up, so while I was taking this video I had no idea which one of these was Abby. . . 

Halfway through the column of pommers, there was a little side-by-side driving along with an amp, playing the music the girls' routine was based on, and Abby was a few rows back in this second group following behind.

Kris spotted her eventually.

As the pommers marched by, Kris began to scurry along the sideline, keeping up with Abby in order to get more pictures of her. Good thing she was able to do so, by this point in time I couldn't feel my feet at all and could barely walk.

Kris' video, once the girls had stopped a little farther down from where they originally passed us.

Abby was freezing as well, but probably not as bad as me 'cause she was at least walking a few miles and doing a routine the entire time.

Once we had seen All Star's routine, we quickly walked back to the van and prepared to vacate the downtown area. Kris was convinced this was going to be impossible, seeing how a Lions game was about to kick off at the downtown area was swarming with people. On top of that, Woodward was still closed and getting back onto the highway was going to be tricky. Fortunately, we were able to backpedal a block or two and jump on I-75 in a matter of minutes. About a half an hour later, we were back at the Sheraton Hotel in Novi, waiting for Abby to get shuttled back.

Abby had boarded a shuttle bus about twenty minutes after we had seen her, so we didn't have to wait long in Novi, maybe 15 minutes or so. Kris and Alayna waited inside at the lobby's Starbucks ('cause of course it has a Starbucks on property.) I was still attempting to thaw from the bitter cold of the morning, and stayed back in Kris' van with the heat on full blast, still wrapped up in that Costco blanket.

After picking up Abby, the girls convinced Kris to stop off somewhere so the three of them could all grab some coffees. After that, we drove bit further down the road (not sure in which direction, I have no idea where anything is down in the greater Detroit area) and soon arrived in scenic. . . Romulus.

Arriving at Uncle Wayne's house around 2pm.

There weren't as many folks on hand this year as in previous years, mostly on account of Laginess extended-family drama that none of us were involved with, but while folks prepped food in the kitchen Kris and I hung out in the living room and watched the Lions completely eat shit once again.

At least the Halftime Show was awesome - can't complain with a Jack White performance. 

While folks were upstairs visiting, the girls hung out downstairs in the basement with their cousin, Lily (well, technically she's Kris' cousin - the youngest child of the youngest Aunt, Kris being the oldest child of the oldest Aunt. . . and there's like six of them.)

Jack brings out another Detroit legend, Eminem, during the show. This was seriously the only decent thing to be seen on TV today, the Lions were an embarrassment.

Alayna, Lily and Abby

Sampling new Christmas beers this afternoon. This one wasn't bad, but nothing to write home about.

This is how teenage girls pass their time and extended family functions.

Oh, and this too. Gotta make those stupid Tik-Tok videos. . . .

After eating at Uncle Wayne's and visiting with Kris' extended family for a few hours, we got back on the road and headed back up north towards Midland. Got back around, like, 10pm, and Samson was very, very happy to see us. Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion. . . 

to be concluded. . .