Thankskilling, Pt. II

(contd.) 

We had to get up relatively early this next morning, with our alarms all set for 6:30am/7am, in order to get us out of the door and down the block to Woodward Street (back by Little Caesar's Arena) for the parade's start. Abby had to get up even earlier, though, because her 'getting ready' process for pom was obviously more intensive. Once her and her teammates were all ready for their big day, they went downstairs and, by the looks of things, proceeded to take pictures with one another for roughly and hour and a half.

All-Star Pom, comprised of the best pommers from across the state of Michigan.

The Midland High contingent of All-Stars (Abby was one of two sophomores who made it onto the team.)

Abby and Mya

Abby and all the girls she shared a room with the night before.

(I forget who this one is - still getting used to the Varsity team pommers, who are mostly Juniors and Seniors.)

Abby with another one.

I think this one's called Sophia. . .

Another upperclassman.

. . . and another. Abby apparently had to get pics with all of the different MHS pommers this morning, Jesus. . .

Meanwhile, back on Woodward Street, we had found some great seats for the parade - right across from the Little Caesar's Arena, without a ton of people around. We still had a couple hours to kill before Abby and the All-Star team passed by - they were near the end of the parade - so that worried us a little. It was brutally cold out, and although we were bundled up decently, that's a lot of time to be out in the elements not moving about for warmth.

That SUCKS. . . 

Sitting on the curb, the three of us huddled together for warmth under one of those gigantic, fleece blankets Kris gets from Costco (we have like four or five of them at home, they're awesome.)

Miles away, the Pom teams performed some kinda routine at the beginning of the parade route (this was screen-captured from some local news broadcast, I think Abby found it.)

The parade finally reached us about an hour and a half after we had first sat down, with a contingent of cavalry cops riding eight abreast down the street.

All of these pictures are courtesy of Kris and Alayna - my hands were far too cold and numb to work my phone. I got frostbite bad when I was 17 and on the Ski Team in high school: it was like below zero temps and I was wearing racing gear, opting not to cover up better in order to look cool. As a result, decades later, my fingers and toes go numb almost immediately if it's below, say, 50 degrees, even with hand-warmers. Not ideal.

The floats today all seemed to be made by the same company - all the human figures on the various floats all had the same sorta look, like giant, three-dimensional cartoon characters come to life. More than a little unsettling.

See what I mean?

Alayna takes another selfie for one of her Social Media accounts.

The guy in that grey car is that one black actor from The Detroiters (not Tim Robinson, the other guy), I forget his name. Anyway, people started walking up to the edge of the street in order to get a better view of the parade, blocking off the folks on the curb's view of events. That sorta stuff usually happens at parade, but it's frustrating some people are that tacky and stupid (like this stupid lady and her ugly-ass kids.)

Another guest of honor in today's parade - Shooter McGaven from Happy Gilmore (I forget his real name, but most people refer to him as Shooter anyway.)

A mile or so away, the All-Star Pom Team was slowly but surely making its way closer to our location on Woodward.

Some creepy clowns, a whole crap-load of them. Kris was telling us that people pay something stupid like $1000 to dress up and participate as a clown in this parade. They pay, they're not paid. That's beyond stupid, that's why nobody likes clowns, they're morons.

The Cannonball, Kris, and Elmo, Shittiest of All Muppets.

Some Wizard of Oz float that Kris and Alayna were all excited about.

More asshole standing right in front of us.  Seriously hope all these people die in a car accident on their way to Thanksgiving Dinner. . . 

I had to wrap myself up in this blanket in order to stay warm. I had attempted to stand up and move about a little bit in order to stay warm, but it wasn't working - I was like shaking uncontrollably at this point (like Kris and Alayna could see me shaking from twenty feet away), and Kris made me sit back down and bundle up for a bit. I was beyond miserable. Alayna was nice enough to take a pic of me to share on Instagram, so that was pretty cool.

The All-Star Pom Team FINALLY decided to show up in our neck of the woods, about three hours into the parade. . .

All these girls look the same once their hair, make-up and uniforms are all done up, so while I was taking this video I had no idea which one of these was Abby. . . 

Halfway through the column of pommers, there was a little side-by-side driving along with an amp, playing the music the girls' routine was based on, and Abby was a few rows back in this second group following behind.

Kris spotted her eventually.

As the pommers marched by, Kris began to scurry along the sideline, keeping up with Abby in order to get more pictures of her. Good thing she was able to do so, by this point in time I couldn't feel my feet at all and could barely walk.

Kris' video, once the girls had stopped a little farther down from where they originally passed us.

Abby was freezing as well, but probably not as bad as me 'cause she was at least walking a few miles and doing a routine the entire time.

Once we had seen All Star's routine, we quickly walked back to the van and prepared to vacate the downtown area. Kris was convinced this was going to be impossible, seeing how a Lions game was about to kick off at the downtown area was swarming with people. On top of that, Woodward was still closed and getting back onto the highway was going to be tricky. Fortunately, we were able to backpedal a block or two and jump on I-75 in a matter of minutes. About a half an hour later, we were back at the Sheraton Hotel in Novi, waiting for Abby to get shuttled back.

Abby had boarded a shuttle bus about twenty minutes after we had seen her, so we didn't have to wait long in Novi, maybe 15 minutes or so. Kris and Alayna waited inside at the lobby's Starbucks ('cause of course it has a Starbucks on property.) I was still attempting to thaw from the bitter cold of the morning, and stayed back in Kris' van with the heat on full blast, still wrapped up in that Costco blanket.

After picking up Abby, the girls convinced Kris to stop off somewhere so the three of them could all grab some coffees. After that, we drove bit further down the road (not sure in which direction, I have no idea where anything is down in the greater Detroit area) and soon arrived in scenic. . . Romulus.

Arriving at Uncle Wayne's house around 2pm.

There weren't as many folks on hand this year as in previous years, mostly on account of Laginess extended-family drama that none of us were involved with, but while folks prepped food in the kitchen Kris and I hung out in the living room and watched the Lions completely eat shit once again.

At least the Halftime Show was awesome - can't complain with a Jack White performance. 

While folks were upstairs visiting, the girls hung out downstairs in the basement with their cousin, Lily (well, technically she's Kris' cousin - the youngest child of the youngest Aunt, Kris being the oldest child of the oldest Aunt. . . and there's like six of them.)

Jack brings out another Detroit legend, Eminem, during the show. This was seriously the only decent thing to be seen on TV today, the Lions were an embarrassment.

Alayna, Lily and Abby

Sampling new Christmas beers this afternoon. This one wasn't bad, but nothing to write home about.

This is how teenage girls pass their time and extended family functions.

Oh, and this too. Gotta make those stupid Tik-Tok videos. . . .

After eating at Uncle Wayne's and visiting with Kris' extended family for a few hours, we got back on the road and headed back up north towards Midland. Got back around, like, 10pm, and Samson was very, very happy to see us. Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion. . . 

to be concluded. . .