Rise of the Padawon JamMasters

What's up, gangsters.

I guess it should come as no great surprise that the daughters of a licensed JamMaster should grow up with a desire to play music and perform on a stage.  Makes sense - music's in their blood.  I've tried encouraging this as much as possible, too; I've started giving Alayna piano lessons (introductory ones, mind you - she's still only four) and last year I bought her a small ukulele (if you'll be so kind to remember) so she could follow in her ol' man's footsteps.  So far she's shown considerable interest in both, which is awesome.

Adventure music, ca. 2002

Thanks to our princess friends at Disney, she's also grown up with a desire to sing - dramatically - on a stage.  The other day I gave her an old microphone that had seen action during my years serving as a JamMaster with the legendary Virgil Q's Dixieland Kazoo Revue.  It had been broken years ago, so I had no qualms handing it over to a preschooler - it still looked and felt like the real thing, and there's nothing she could do it that hadn't already been done to it by a bunch of drunks.

So, armed with her new microphone, the Cannonball has been treating us to a slew of 'concerts' around the house lately.


Here's an example:

 

- Brian

Hot Date at the Science Center

So, Alayna and Derrick once again have found themselves together and having a blast. We all met up at the Orlando Science Center today and explored planes, trains, dinosaur bones and lots of other cool stuff. Not a lot to be put into words, so here are some pictures of our adventure with Alayna's Superman and his family.

-Kris

A Duel 10 Years in the Making...

If it's one thing I can't stomach, it's some a-hole cracking wise on my golf skills. I refer not to that sissy, 18-hole, pastel-polo-tucked-into-khakis golf you see the well-to-dos killing their idle time with. Nay. I refer to a real man's golf.

Pirates Cove Adventure Golf.

To call this 'miniature golf' would be akin to referring to Indiana Jones as a professor. I had lots of professors through undergraduate and graduate school, but not one of them carried a pistol and whip, combated Nazis, and trounced around the world theater collecting ancient relics of antiquity and occult. Not that I'm aware of at least.

No, Pirates Cove is something glorious and unique, and therefore it was with great offense did I scorn the infamous Zack Smith - co-founder of the Sausage Pad and fellow Alpha Team compatriot - when he dared to state that he would 'destroy me' at an 18-round tour-de-force at Pirates Cove. Without missing a beat, I accepted his challenge, however ludicrous and heretic it was at the time, and we made a pact to hold a duel at the earliest possible juncture.

That was ten years ago.

Now, this week, the duel commenced.

It was an epic battle of gigantor proportions, and definitely one for the history books. I had an early lead over Z. Smithers that I somehow managed to squander about three-fourths of the way through the course, and so he managed to catch up to me on a few of the last holes. Alas, as the tally was taken after we completed the 18th hole, we discovered that, after ten years of shit-talking, we had tied.

That's right. It was a tie. Unbelievable.

So what happens now? I'll tell you what happens now:

Hough vs. Smith 2020.

Be there or be square.

- Brian