Christmas: Coronavirus Edition

Happy Holidays, Internet!!!

Well, we're here at long last, folks - the pinnacle of the Holiday Season.  The last month and a half of slow, agonizing build up has led us to this morning's three-hour rampage of gift opening.  Four hours of sleep, no healthy food to be had, drinking before noon, and a living room and kitchen in total shambles.

Gotta love Christmas Morning.

Abby stumbles out of her room first and beholds the spread. . .

This year Kris and I felt like complete ass upon waking up, and we can blame her and Alayna for it this time around.  Last night, Kris and I stayed up until 12:30am or so, as it always takes a few hours to get things situated for the following morning.  It sucks, but it's to be expected - Christmas Morning's Grand Reveal doesn't take care of itself, folks.

So around 3am, Alayna got up to use the bathroom (of course.)  Kris, in a half-conscious stupor, began elbowing me awake to alert me to the fact that the kids were up and it was Christmas morning. . . and not, you know, the middle of the f***ing night.  

Alayna awakens and begins opening up Watson's stocking.

After making sure Alayna was back in bed, I came back to the room and tried to go back to sleep, but then Alayna wanted a drink of water about ten minutes later, so I was once again back out of bed.  I didn't manage to fall back to sleep until, like, 4:30. . . and woke up at 5:55am, with just enough time to turn on a fireplace on the TV, turn on all the Christmas lights, grab my camera and pour myself a cup of coffee before the kids charged out of their bedrooms at 6am (the time that we've established as the earliest our kids can leave their rooms on Christmas Morning.)

I hate parenting so Goddamn much sometimes. . .

The dogs are just as bad as the girls, so we try and open up their stockings first so they can gnaw at their new bones, toys, and rawhides and leave us alone to open our own gifts throughout the morning.

Samson gets his (presumedly) first Christmas stocking.

Chaos ensues. . .

You can't open these things fast enough.

While I handle our annual Christmas Budget, and the majority of our Christmas purchases throughout the Season, Kris handles, like, 90% of the girls' stockings. . .

. . . and this is because the girls no longer get toys and candy in their stocking, but fancier chocolates (that I don't understand apparently), jewelry, make-up, and other such 'girly' things that she is well-versed in.

Samson, hoping there's more snacks to be had.

New Wet Brushes.  They work soooo much better than normal brushes, but cost way more, too.  Our girls misplace theirs all the time, so we pulled the trigger on a couple new ones this year.  I hate kids.

(Watson continued to hover like this for quite some time.)

The girls spent about 20 minutes going through their stockings this year, which was honestly record-time for Alayna - she usually drags hers out for waaaay longer than that, while Abby (who tears through hers in about five minutes) sits around waiting, bored.  We attribute this to the fact their stockings this year featured fewer, larger, more expensive items that took up more space.

The girls' stockings having been torn through - and the possibility of more treats being dispelled - the dogs resign themselves to their bones.

Kris went through her stocking next, among which I threw in an Aldi wine brand ornament for our Christmas Tree (Kris is a big fan of their wine label, Winking Owl.)

Kris had a couple of high-end tumblers created for the girls by some local artist who makes them for a living, featuring glittery gold exteriors and imagery and words from the Hamilton play (which both girls are beyond obsessed with.) I wasn't a fan of how much they cost, but they're well-made at least.  Hopefully the kids don't lose them.  Kris made it a point to say that these tumblers were from 'just her' because I gave her so much grief over the purchase.

Kris picked out a couple pairs of shoes, boots and sandals for the girls as well this year - their feet continue to grow at a ridiculous pace, so it's definitely warranted.

Personally I'd be all like 'meh' with getting boots for Christmas, buuuut whatever.

Alayna's had this black, shag-carpet -looking rug on her Amazon list for awhile.  She's been really into decorating her room lately, so she was pretty thrilled with getting a frickin' rug for Christmas.

Still putting work into one of his new bones (it was one of those ones that has like some kinda filling inside that they can't easily get to.)

(I can't tell what she's opening here.)

As we've done in previous years, we take the girls out to shop for each other as well as the other parent.  When Kris asked Abby what she wanted to get me for Christmas, Abby told her she wanted to buy me books for my Library, so Kris drove her out to Barnes and Noble where they sell those Collectible Editions I like.  I had a couple on my list this year, so Abby pulled the trigger on War and Peace, my all-time second-favorite book (behind The Lord of the Rings, obviously.)  When they purchased it, Barnes and Noble was running one of its 'Buy One, Get One Half-Off' sales, so they threw in a second one off my list, a compendium of classic Fantasy stories.

Home run gifts, folks.

Kris opening up some more girly gifts (fancy soaps and other such bullshit.)

(Not sure what this is - looks like a book or a blu-ray, probably.)

Both girls got a stack of books this year - they're both avid readers (thank God.)

And now from a couple gifts from 'Santa.'

New scooters.  We might have gone a little overboard with gifts this year, but what with Covid and everything making everyone's lives super stressful and shitty, we wanted to spoil our kids this Christmas.

These scooters are adult-sized, unlike the girls' previous Razor scooters that they got for Christmas, like, seven years ago, thereabouts.  They're both all-terrain, too - with larger, bike-like wheels for 'off-roading' and longer decks for standing and riding on.  Should hold up to the average wear-and-tear of teenage use, for sure.

I'm definitely not looking forward to assembling these things. . .

Kris opening up her gift from Alayna, which was a basket of smelly-ass lotions, soaps, sprays, and what-not from Bath and Body Works.

More books and shoes. . .

Alayna had these wedge-thingies on her list for a while, too.

Trying on some new threads.

Samson gets a fleece blanket for his bed.  We also gave him a Rabbitgoo harness and a retractable leash, too. . . and just made them Christmas presents so the kids had more shit to open.  'Tis the Season.

Christmas chaos (we're probably an hour into gift-opening at this point.)

Both girls got a lot of clothes this year.  We regularly have to shop for them seeing how they're both growing so fast, so whenever we pick up new clothes Kris just said 'it can be a Christmas present,' and then, voila, they have more stuff to open.

Leggings.

Alayna opens up her gifts from Abby.  Abby got her a silver ring and this Paris-themed, Eiffel Tower photo holder, along with a picture of the two of them.

These two hug, like, maybe once every couple of years, so we had to get a picture of it.

More frickin' clothes.  I hadn't realized how much Kris bought this year, but it sure as hell didn't come out of my budget.

Kris got a couple new hats from Secret Garden (her favorite store, in Bay City.)  I was with her when we went there and saw these (while shopping for our many moms), and she says, "Just buy them for me and make them Christmas presents."  Done.  I guess we've hit that point in adulthood.

Some of my stocking stuffers.  My wife gets me.

An expansion pack for one of our favorite, family games - Five Minute Dungeon.

Abby devoured the first Harry Potter book, so we bought her a nice collectible set of the series, something that she's been wanting.

Oh look, more shoes.

Still working on a bone.

Abby opening up her gift from Alayna, a set of those stupid LOL Surprise toys.  I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that this gift right here is probably the last toy purchase of our household, ever (or until we get grandkids, at least.)

Kris got a new fall/winter coat (again, something she told me to get and make a Christmas present.)

Abby is obsessed with Trolls, so we bought her the blu-rays for the first and second movies.  They're beyond annoying, but whatever floats the kid's boat, I guess.

Abby bought Kris a blue-jean jacket this year from Target.  I guess Kris mentioned wanting one, and Abby remembered.

Kris bought me one of those Amazon Ring Doorbell cameras and a corresponding Echo Show so I can drop in to the camera's live feed at any time.  Totally something I wouldn't have gone out of my way to pick up myself, but definitely can appreciate.

So, remember earlier when I mentioned how Kris made those Hamilton tumblers from 'just her'?  Well, just to one-up the ol' ball-and-chain, I decided to buy my kids a frickin' PlayStation 4 this year.  In your face, spouse.

Damn straight, it was 'just from me.'

The girls practically shit themselves opening this up.  Neither one is a real avid 'gamer,' per se, but they've mentioned wanting to play online with friends from school, and it was high time to replace the Wii U in the basement as a kid console.  Despite the PS5 dropping this year, availability for the newer version of the PS4 (a 'slim' build, with 1TB of storage space - a huge upgrade from the classic model) was hard to find - took me a few weeks, but I managed to pick up the last one in stock at Target one day, on a whim.  Thank Jesus.

To go along with it, I bought about ten games (one of which was for me, but whatever), a remote control for using the console to watch Disney+ and Netflix (instead of just a game controller), an extra controller, a controller-charging stand/cooling tower for the console, and a pair of microphone-headsets for online play.  These stupid things only come with one controller and no games, so you have to buy the shit on the side.  Again, we splurged a little this year, 'cause of Covid and everything, so it was justifiable.

Happy campers.

Kris meant to put these in my stocking this year, but the box was too big and she didn't get around to removing the bottles from the box.  Soooo. . . 

Ten degrees of hot sauce, ranging from basic jalapeno to ghost pepper.  I love me some hot sauce.

Alayna really wanted Grand Theft Auto V.  Done and done.

Got Kris a gift card so she could buy backsplash for the kitchen. . . which, I guess, is somehow 'cool' if you're a boring-ass mom.

She's been really wanting a projector for the basement (and outdoors), so I did a bunch of research and found a model that was well-rated from a reputable brand.  When it was 40% off, and came with a $30 Bluetooth transmitter for free, during an Amazon Lightning Deal, I pounced on it.

Opening up some PS4 games.  I tried to get a variety of adventure, strategy, puzzle-based, and action games - you never know which ones kids like ours are going to fall in love with, they're all over the board.

Gift-opening fatigue starting to set in. We're about two hours in at this point.

(Can't tell what this one is.)

Taking a break from gift-opening to register the girls as users on the new gaming console.  I had already set up a user profile for myself - and spent hours and hours downloading the game data, updating the firmware, and - not gonna lie here - playing many of the games over the last month or so.  Had to make sure everything was good to go for the kids, folks.

Setting up their accounts.  Each kid gets a user handle that they can use for online playing, pairing with controllers, etc. - definitely a far cry from the simpler days of the NES, that's for damn sure.

The girls really wanted to try out a game called Fortnite, which is all the rage if you're, like, between the ages of six and fourteen.  The game itself is free to download onto your console, but if you want to buy new weapons and outfits for your avatar, it costs real money (that's how they get you.)  I have the feeling we may have just opened up Pandora's Box with this purchase. . . 

Samson, exhausted after a morning of bone-gnawing.

Alayna's new scooter came more or less assembled and ready to roll, right out of the box.  Abby's, on the other hand, was a total pain in the ass.  I had to assemble it from scratch, which was way outside my wheelhouse of skill because that entailed running brake lines from handlebars to brake pads - definitely a lengthy, swear-word laden process that I'm still not 100% done with.

After Kris and I downed our first bottle of mimosas, our friends the Larsons swung by unexpectedly with their kids - who had been playing Fortnite with the girls online for the last hour or so.  So we decided to crack open a second bottle (the one they just bought us) and enjoy some quiet adult time while the kids screamed at the TV in the basement.

Kris kicked ass on my stocking this year.

Sophie and Abby.  Their outfits this morning - new Christmas presents - were not planned at all.  Definitely creepy.

After showering and changing out of our pajamas, we loaded up the girls and drove over to my mom's house for Christmas with her, John, and my Grandpa Chinery.

(We always do late lunch/early dinner on Christmas Day with them because Grandpa can't be out super late anymore.)

Kris opening up gifts from Mom and John (they got us a Lowe's card, which Kris already has determined is going towards he back splash in the kitchen.  Hooray.)

Mom's super enthused with her granddaughter.

We were all half-comatose over there, practically running on fumes, so I just sat in a chair taking occasional pictures, hence the crappy vantage and lack of angles.  My apologies.

More gifts. . .

Mom and Kris decided on getting stuff that could be done with the girls as an activity, so Mom bought a bunch of tie-dying supplies and white clothing for the girls to use (over at Mom's house, thank God.)

Zoom/Face-Timing with Chris and his family (who stayed down in Indiana this year on account of the ongoing plague.)  I had to do tech support for my folks so they could get the image up on the living room TV, but we got it to work.

We ended up leaving after two or three hours, we could barely keep our eyes open, so we left before Grandpa did and headed home to change back into pajamas.

I hooked up Kris' new projector in the basement and we put on one of Abby's new Trolls movies - when hooked up to an external stereo system, it's pretty badass.  Picture resolution is way better than I expected.

Trying out Star Wars: Battlefront on the PS4, a first-person shooter game that allows two players to play at the same time utilizing split-screen.  Looked pretty awesome on the projector, for sure.

After the girls went to bed, Kris and I stayed up to finish National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (we had ran out of time to do so the night before.)

A fitting end to another Hough Family Christmas.

- Brian