The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XXXIII

What's up, people.  Time to get festive. . .

Album Title:  Elf  Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

Album Artist:  Various Artists

So this movie has been a family staple for a few years now.  Not one of my personal favorite Christmas movies (I fancy myself a National Lampoon, Muppets, Scrooged sorta guy), but it's good.  The soundtrack is one that flows well, so I figured it might be good to pick it up on vinyl sometime.  Lo and behold, over the summer (of course) it dropped nearly 50% in price on Amazon, so I pounced on it.

Overall, this is a really solid Christmas album.  It has several powerhouse yuletide jams that are well worth the investment, such as The Brian Setzer Orchestra's 'Nutcracker Suite' (arguably the best seven-minute take on Tchaikovsky's famous piece in existence), Jim Reeves' 'Jingle Bells,' etc.,  As such it'll Remain in Circulation throughout the rest of the Holiday Season.

So why give it a '7'?

Well, for starters, there are a couple songs on this LP that just don't fit well on a Christmas album.  Louis Prima's 'Pennies from Heaven' and Billy Preston's 'Nothing From Nothing' are both great songs, and work very well in Elf. . . . but do they blend in as Christmas music?  Nope.  Nope they do not.  While they are prolific songs on the soundtrack, they're at odds with the garland on my mantlepiece and the nog-and-rum in my hand.

But, more notably, the real reason this album is brought down low to a mere is 7 can be summed up in two words, America:

Leon Redbone.

If you don't know who this guy is, folks, he's an old tin-pan alley singer from back in the day who sings in a weird baritone voice. . . and he's on, like, three or four different tracks on this LP.  His main claim to fame is that he's the dude that sang the theme song to the classic '80s TV sitcom, Mr. Belvedere.  See for yourself:

Why the music director in charge of Elf felt it necessary to resurrect this dude's career from the pits of who-gives-a-f***, I'll never know.  It'd be jarring enough if he were on there just once, but the geniuses in charge of this record put him on there multiple times.  The worst occurrence, of course, is for a duet with Zooey Deschanel (an actress from the film, who's also an indie singer in bands like She & Him) on the Holiday staple, 'Baby It's Cold Outside.'

Oh.  My.  God.

If you're already familiar with this song, you know it's a song meant for couples, and it's. . . well. . . . kinda rape-y in context.

A creepy guy won't let his girlfriend head home, even though her parents already worried sick about her, under the context that it's 'cold outside.'  The girl then notices something's in her drink, and all he can say is response are predator lines like, 'your lips look delicious.'

Maybe this whole scenario was acceptable back in the '50s or '60s, when this song was originally written and men got away with this crap all the time.  But this is 2017 - the year women called out such abhorred behavior, and brought down limelight heavyweights like Matt Laurer, Louis C.K., and - hopefully - Roy Moore.

This no longer flies, fellas.

What's worse about this already-disgusting song is the fact that Zooey and Leon singing the different parts of the duet make the song sound like an exhausted teenage girl trying to get out of a creepy, old man's living room.  And he just won't let her leave.  And he's giving her totally-uncalled-for advances that aren't being reciprocated.

No means no, Leon.

VERDICT:  7/10 - Pretty Rad  (A pretty solid Christmas soundtrack. . . . with a few jarring moments that make me want to take a scalding hot shower.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -