The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XXXI

Hi again, Internet.  Time for a festive, Saturday morning jam analysis . . .

Album Title:  Tchaikovsky:  The Nutcracker

Album Artist:  The Philadelphia Orchestra

I'd be pretentious and say Tchaikovsky is my all-time, favorite Russian composer, buuut he's the only Russian composer I know by name.  I mean, are there other composers from Russia?  I mean, I'm sure there are, but hell if I know any of them.  So I'm not about to be one of those guys and pretend to be some shitty music snob about it.

Having said that, Tchaikovsky is my all-time, favorite Russian composer.

I guess you could call me a 'Best of' fan regarding his work, because I really only know his popular compositions, like the 1812 Overture, Sleeping Beauty, and this - his Nutcracker piece.  It's hard to have a solid Christmas without it.  It fills the instrumental void that only classical music can fill:  aside from religious music and instrumental versions of crap like 'Jingle Bells' and 'White Christmas,' there's not really a large amount of vocal-less music out there for the Holiday season.  The Nutcracker is, probably most notably, the most important instrumental addition to one's Holiday jam catalog.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Hard to pass this up for 59 cents. . .

The story itself is, well, pretty creepy.  A little kid comes downstairs, bears witness to a horrific battle unfolding in her living room between suddenly--and-inexplicably-alive toys and abnormally organized and disciplined Napoleonic rats (or mice, I forget.)  She helps save the life of a Nutcracker (I think) who, in return, takes her away to his home land.

. . . 'Cause there's nothing illegal about falling in love with a little girl, stealing her away from her home in the middle of the night, and taking her to a far-off land filled with all kinds of weird shit.

If only today's LPs had frickin' books on the back of 'em like they used to. . .

Anyway, pedophilia and child trafficking aside, The Nutcracker is a great piece of music, and one I don't think I need to analyze in detail.  I should point out that I have no intention of rating this composition itself, as I don't feel I'm qualified to do so (I have a lot of respect for Classical music, and it's far too complex and deep for some hipsterly record-lover pushing 40 to 'analyze.')  Instead, I think I'll base my rating for this LP on this particular recording itself and it's Christmas worth.

The Philadelphia Orchestra does a commendable job with this piece, and there's not really anything to fault.  I think it's an older recording, so more recent undertakings would probably be able to capture the highs and lows better, but there's nothing too distracting here.  It's a sound packaging that captures the music well, and it's serves as a quintessential addition to one's Holiday collection, to be sure.

Having said that, there's a lot of music here, and only some of it is more familiar to those Christmas music-lovers out there ('Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies,' etc.)  Much of the music from The Nutcracker is less known to the masses, and as such it's hard to get the 'Christmas vibe' from it.  Rating it on that alone - the ability to invoke the Christmas Spirit from the music itself - and the somewhat dated recording, takes it down a few pegs in my book.

(I feel like I owe Tchaikovsky an apology. . . . but I don't speak Russian.)

VERDICT:  7/10 - Pretty Rad  (A great piece of music, and a mandatory addition to your Holiday music collection. . . but there's a lot of non-yule you can probably skip over.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -