Paraplegic Dolphins, Traffic, and One Last Hurrah on the Gulf - Pt. I

Hooray. . . Ancient History.

Hey everybody.

Yours Truly just kicked off SPRING BREAK. . . which, honestly, was waaay overdue.  Having spent the last couple months attempting to convince today's teenagers that the Peloponnesian Wars are way cooler than texting one another (pssh. . . as if, Mr. Hough), I was more than ready for a week off of work.

Seeing how the Houghs are officially moving back to Michigan in June, Kris and I decided that we should probably make the most out of our remaining time in Florida and squeeze in as much touristy shit as humanly possible.  She wants to check out Cape Canaveral, maybe Anna Marie Island again.  Me?  I'm always down for some piratey, history-themed adventure at St. Augustine.

The girls?  They want to see Winter and Hope.

Allow us to pluck thy heartstrings, America.

In case you've never heard of Winter and Hope (and that's highly probable, since the idea of you being a elementary-aged girl and reading this blog makes little to no sense whatsoever), Winter and Hope are dolphins.  They're super famous dolphins, 'cause a movie was made about them.  Two movies, actually - Dolphin Tale and Dolphin Tale II: The Two Towers.  Anyway, Winter is the main dolphin, and basically she's a paraplegic dolphin that lost her tail when she got it caught in a crab net.  Or something.  Then she was swimming all messed up 'cause she didn't have a tail anymore, and was at risk of dying, so Morgan Freeman made her a prosthetic tail.

And she lived happily ever after.

Dolphin 2: Winter's Revenge

. . . but then there was a sequel.  Dolphin Tale II.  Basically, Winter gets lonely in her aquarium facility, and the plucky protagonists have to find her a new friend.  Then Hope, a baby dolphin, washes ashore and they eventually become "BFFs" (or whatever the hell the dolphin equivalent may be.)

So. . . a lucrative franchise is born, and kids and cripples from all over the world come to Clearwater Beach to check out the Clearwater Marine Aquarium and see the real-life Winter and Hope, as well as the real-life locations used for the two movies.


. . .so guess where we went for Spring Break?

That's right.

Behold - our family mini-vacation to Clearwater Beach:

Coming into Tampa.  Our timing for this vacation couldn't have been worse - the first weekend of Central Florida's Spring Break.  Everyone and their brother was headed to either coast to take advantage of the beaches, so this was a common occurrence throughout the duration of our vacation.  It usually takes an hour and half to drive from Orlando to Tampa, but today it took nearly twice that. 

After a couple hours in the car, the DVD players stopped working.  We've had them for years, so it was probably just a matter of time before they died on us.  Still, the timing was far from ideal.

Out of traffic, closing in on the coast.

Finding a hotel close to the beach was a fruitless affair.  Anything on Clearwater Island was super over-priced, so we ended up getting a moderately-rated hotel on the mainland (at about half the price), about a ten-minute drive from Clearwater Marin Aquarium.  I had never heard of Magnuson before, which is never a good thing. . .

Checking in

They haven't seen many vending machines in their day, I guess.

Grabbing brochures for the weekend - always a favorite activity at hotels for our family.

We got a second-floor room, which, sadly didn't overlook the hotel's pool.

I would have preferred this view from our room, but we had to make due with a parking lot view instead.

Pumped to see some dolphins.

Our hotel room.  Clean, but pretty old (check out the TV) - that seemed to be the consensus online with users' ratings, too - everyone said it was clean, safe, etc., but that the appliances and decor were pretty outdated.

Still, we were only in the hotel for one night, and didn't plan on staying in the room itself besides sleeping, so it wasn't too much of a big deal.

This is where we spent the majority of our time at the hotel. Obviously.

Kris shows the girls a ladybug she found on the side of the pool.  The kids were obsessed with it, until Abby accidentally crushed it trying to give it a hug.  Which shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who knows Abby.

Drying off

We decided to head to the island for dinner, and to check out one last sunset on Florida's gulf coast ('cause they're awesome.)  This is what we found as we tried heading west.

Fortunately swimming had knocked the girls out, so we didn't have to hear uninterrupted bitching from the backseat for the entirety of our drive.

What should have taken ten minutes would end up taking an hour and a half.  Seriously.  Ninety minutes of bumper-to-bumper traffic heading into the island. . .

. . . of course, the girls woke up about a half-hour into our 'drive,' so Kris and I got to listen to the 'why is it taking sooo long?!' chorus for a solid hour before we made it across the causeway.  That was cool.

See that woman?  She was going faster than us.  I'm pretty sure she beat us to the island.

Finally.

Clearwater marina

This guy knows how to get around town.

If the drive over wasn't enough of a pain in the ass, finding affordable parking proved to be a trial in not-killing-yourself.  Most parking garages were filled, and those side-lots that allowed parking were charging exuberant fees (like $20 per hour!)  In the end, after about a half hour of driving around, we found a garage that charged $18 per day.  By this point, it was past the usual time for the kids' dinner, everyone was pissed, and we were all funned-out with Clearwater Beach.

This picture weirds me out.  It was bumper-to-bumper everywhere, but you only see one car on the road.  I'd actually be less freaked-out if there was a ghost in this picture somewhere.

Walking to a streetside restaurant

Chowing down.

We were right on the sidewalk, which was kind of cool.  In hindsight, we should have taken a trolley over the causeway (not sure if that was even an option, but they look a lot cooler than Kris' Tactical Family Transport Vehicle.

I was pleased to find this when I had to use the restroom.  I wish my bathroom at home looked like this.

Photo courtesy of the Cannonball

Photo courtesy of the Cannonball

After dinner, we crossed the street and headed towards the beach in order check out the sunset.

Clearwater Beach

Alayna begs to play in the Gulf.

Getting their feet wet

Abby digs for buried treasure. 

Believe it or not, but these pictures aren't doctored  or enhanced at all - I switched back and forth between an 18-55mm lens, a 40mm lens, and a 55-220mm lens (or whatever it is.)

Abby tried silently stalking seagulls across the beach.  She wasn't very good at it.

When that failed, she resorted to her standard, go-to method of just charging and screaming.   Which also failed.

Pier 60

Playing Tag on the beach

Pirates.  Or rich people.

Last sunset on the Gulf for the Houghs. . .

A Pirate-themed booze cruise sets sail.  Sometimes I really hate the fact that I have children.

Washing off the sand

She had to do this for every, last light we crossed on the way back to the car.

Not surprisingly, it took us a solid hour after we left the beach to actually get off the island - traffic had actually gotten worse.  I was almost hit by a car crossing the street with Abby (though that may have been my fault for charging across the street in front of it, but whatever.)

Stay tuned for the thrilling family-appropriate, not-so-aggravating conclusion to the Hough's Clearwater Vacation.

- Brian