Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Golden Age of Cartoons


There sure is a lot of garbage out there on television. Especially for kids.

Not like when I was growing up. Back then, in the glory days of the 1980s, the shows on TV were little more than glorified commercials hawking cheap, plastic action figures... but at least they were up front about it. And they were way sweeter.

...and that is exactly why Hollywood keeps making movies based on TV shows I grew up watching, by the way.

So let's flash forward to today. PBS, Nickelodeon, Disney... what used to be stalwarts in childrens programming back in the day have now turned towards computer animation and sex (have you watched Disney's pre-teen shows recently?!) to entice kids. Furthermore, most cartoons nowadays run a whopping 12 minutes in length in order to accommodate the next-to-nothing attention span of today's youth.

Taking this into consideration, we here at the Fortress of Houghitude have always tried to steer our kids towards quality childrens television and away from those annoying, TV characters that make parents want to kill themselves. Alayna might be able to identify Dora, Barney or Elmo, but she sure as hell doesn't ask for them (thank God).

Not in my house.

It definitely helps that we don't have cable, but instead opt to stream Netflix through our Nintendo Wii. This option, for us, is way better, since all the shows we're interested in are on there anyway, and without the commercials.

It's also a fraction of the cost (despite the ridiculous price hike set for September). There are tons of shows to introduce one's kids to, so we're constantly trying out new things in order to maintain our sanity and avoid having to watch the same crap over and over again.

Now, being products of the greatest era in television known to man (the '80s), I've tried to introduce numerous old shows to our kids over the last two years... some with more success than others.

The Cannonball never took to the Muppets and Fraggle Rock like I wanted her to, and only occasionally will sit and watch Sesame Street (though, in her defense, that show is still nearly an hour long). That's disappointing for me, as I'm a huge Jim Henson fan.

If I had three wishes, one of them would definitely be for the Muppets to be real, live in my house with me, and be part of my every day routine.

Jesus, that'd be awesome.

Anyway, while we haven't had a lot of success with the aforementioned shows, some others have proven to be sure-fire gold. Here's a breakdown of what's 'hot' in the Hough household.

1. She-Ra. This one came out of thin air. A lot of people try to get their kids into all the same hobbies they have, and, to some extent, we're guilty of this as well. I bought the Cannonball a ukulele, we do tons of arts and crafts around the house, and our kids are well-versed in music.

Same goes for TV. Kris had tried, in the past, introducing a horde of girly kids shows from the '80s to Alayna - shows that she used to watch when she was growing up. Among these, were such chick-classics as My Little Pony, Rainbow Bright, and Strawberry Shortcake - but none of them really caught on.

Then, one day, Kris tried She-Ra: Princess of Power...

Ka-boom.

This is what I imagine She-Ra, Rainbow Bright, and Strawberry Shortcake look like during their time off-set...

The Cannonball was a big fan. Shortly after becoming hooked on the show, she started taking interest in the toy swords we have lying around the house, and the result was as follows:












2. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. This one was a follow-up sure-fire after she started watching She-Ra. For those of you not brought up in the '80s or otherwise unfamiliar with the Filmmation company's animated juggernauts, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe debuted in 1981 and was massively successful. Four years later, they launched She-Ra as the chick alternative. She-Ra, as it turns out, is He-Man's twin sister, and He-Man actually guest stars in practically every other episode throughout season one of She-Ra: Princess of Power. So, as Alayna watched more and more episodes of She-Ra, she began liking He-Man more and more.

Enter Masters of the Universe: one of my personal favorites from my own childhood, and a huge reason why I'm still obsessed with swords today. Surprisingly enough, and despite what you may have heard elsewhere, I think this show has held up pretty damn well. I have no problem sitting through an episode or three at any given time.

I'm weird, though.

When I was little, this is what I wanted to do when I grew up. I still think it'd beat teaching.


3. Star Wars. There comes a time in every dad's life when he has to approach the inevitable. How to introduce your child to Star Wars. Moms don't understand this. They can't.

It is truly a delicate task, see for yourself.

Alayna has watched bits and pieces of Star Wars: A New Hope, but I don't think she's old enough yet to appreciate the cinematic masterpiece for all its worth. I mean, the kid still refers to the droids as 'robots.'


I think I'm going to hold off on this one for awhile. The Force is not yet strong in this one...


6. The Littles. This one we introduced a couple months ago, but occasionally pull it out in order to break up the monotony. This show was not as well-known back in the day as, say, He-Man or She-Ra, but was still pretty big. I think the original show was in Dutch or French or something. Who knows. Anyway, it was made by the same people that did G.I. Joe... so that's a plus in my book.



7. Care Bears. This little gem wasn't one I was too familiar with back in the day, but we figured it couldn't be worse than a giant, singing, purple dinosaur or a little Hispanic girl with a knack for cartography who hangs out with a boot-sporting monkey. I mean, it was for chicks, right? And it had morals? Why not.

Anyway, we own - for whatever reason - the two Care Bears movies, and, on a whim, decided to try and introduce the Cannonball to the 'Bears...

Holy crap.

Not since Yo Gabba Gabba has a show taken off with our kid this much. If the recent trend continues, and I think it might, Kris and I will have both of these movies memorized within a month. I guarantee it.

- Brian







Thursday, July 14, 2011

St. Augustine - Day III

Time for the final chapter, fans and fanettes.

Day II was a draining, draining day. Shuffling about in the 95+ degree weather (with 100% humidity), trying not to lose our patience with our bored and sweaty kids when they do something stupid (and kids are always doing something stupid), and trying to squeeze in as much of the surrounding attractions as humanly possible.

Like this, for example..

For Day III, we decided to take a far more leisurely approach - we wanted to take our time and soak in the city a little more. I had already seen the Castillo, and my rage had subsided since our not-as-cool-as-it-could've-been experience at the Pirate Museum, so I didn't really care all that much how we spent our last day in St. Augustine (I did want to check out the Spanish quarter and visit the infamous Fountain of Youth,in order to obtain immortality and maybe a shirt). As for Kris, she wanted to take the girls to a nearby, gigantor wooden playground and hit up a few last souvenir shops before hitting the road.

The girls just wanted to hang out back in the hotel room - eating pretzels, spilling drinks, watching Ratattouille (however the hell you spell that) on my MacBook, and more or less resuming the behavior they usually exhibit at home.

Go figure.

Well, we managed to do a little bit of everything during our last hurrah through the Old City, and we were still able to hit the road by 6pm, which put us back at our house in Orlando just in time to put the kids down for bed, unpack our luggage, and pass out.

Enjoy the pics and video. Slainté.

- Brian


The St. Augustine Visitor's Center. We had to check out of the Pirate Haus by 10am, so we were forced to check into the nearby parking garage and figured it'd be worth it to snoop around the adjacent visitor's center.

A Spanish rapier found among the wreckage of the Acona (pretty sure that's what the name was), a Spanish ship that sunk off the coast of St. Augustine with all her crew.

Yours Truly and some super big priest that will haunt my dreams for a long, long time.

...and here's his nasty sister. Or Shrek. I can't tell.

A replica (not to scale, or necessary likeness) of a 16th century Spanish galleon. But hey, it's the thought that counts, right?

Some creepy fountain outside the Visitor's Center the kids wanted to play in

One of the oldest cemeteries in North America

...and again

Enjoying a morning pipe

The Oldest Drug Store in America/Pharmacy in America (St. Augustine seems to have a lot of "Oldest _____ in America"s)

A crapload of antique medicines, toiletries, and whatever else

The counter

Look out, ladies - this guy ranks 'Wild' on the ol' Passion Scale...

Some over-priced toy/doll store (wherein Kris failed to read the posted signs)

Walking to lunch at Barefoot Bill's

Some old, dilapidated (and probably haunted) house that was for sale. I was serious about buying it and taking up a job as a pirate full-time, but Kris wasn't having it. It would definitely be a fixer upper (however you spell that), but hell... so is the house we're in now.

At Barefoot Bill's

Abby, about to turn into the Hulk


Shenanigans at Barefoot Bill's.

After lunch (where we were served by some creature whose sex we couldn't determine - I hate it when that happens), Kris let the kids hang out in the church courtyard while I ran down to a particular gift shop to pick up the necessary souvenir shot glass I had seen the previous day.

The Catholic church of St. somebody-or-other

Abby gettin' out her Ya-Yas

Down by the Market Plaza

Walking through the Plaza

Back in the Cathedral courtyard

Strolling along, having a pipe

We loved pushing this beast around St. Augustine. Absolutely loved it.

The place to go when you need to bury a Huguenot

Ripley's Believe It or Not (...we didn't go there.)

We decided to check out a nearby playground that came highly recommended by Captain Conrad at the Pirate Haus. The kids needed to burn off their pent up energy (after being strapped into a stroller or otherwise being forced along, sweaty and bored with what their parents were doing), so we figured it'd be worth it in the long run for us to let them go nuts for an hour or two...


The playground, conveniently located right across the street from our parking garage (and our air-conditioned Tactical Family Transport Vehicle... which we were looking forward to after spending the duration of the day in a humid, Hell-furnace)

Arriving at the Playground...

Swingin'

Goofin' off

Abby, enjoying herself

Alayna, not enjoying herself

After hanging out at the playground for a while, we drove out to the infamous Fountain of Youth, located outside St. Augustine's historic downtown district, where conquistador Ponce de Leon landed in 1513.

The entrance gates Tons of Spanish moss in the area, which appropriately makes everything look really, really old

Posted sentry and informational signboard

Kris asking for admission info from a local swordsman and some chick from "Joyzee"

Entrance to the Fountain of Youth

The Spanish used this exact spring when they first landed in St. Augustine, and the local Injuns believed it to be the Fountain of Youth

The famous Fountain of Youth

Obtaining immortality...

...which consequently tasted like sulfur and butt.

"Tastes gross. I don't want it."- The Cannonball, valuing taste over ever-lasting life.

Pool from the Fountain (Sulfur) Spring

Abby

Some cherub getting pissed on

Weird Cherub Statue/Fountain...

Close-ups

An old Spanish ship anchor recovered from a shipwreck off the Florida coast
Lots of relics pulled from shipwrecks - like the aforementioned anchor, as well as numerous cannons - are placed along the walkways throughout the 15 acre exhibit, which also houses a replica Native American village, a Planetarium (that we never had the chance of checking out), the Fountain of Youth, and, of course, a Gift Shop.

The park also features tons of Peacocks... for whatever reason. They were everywhere.

Cannonball and the Peacock

A peacock atop a 16th century cannon. Why not.

Cannonball chasing more peacocks

Abby finishing Alayna's water from the Fountain of Youth. That chick does not care about trifle things like 'taste.'

Cannonball and Kris

Alayna Reading Signs

Approaching the landing site of Ponce De Leon - the site marking Europe's first stroke of imperialism in North America

The Ponce


Big-Assed, White Peacock - showing off his goods, trying to get a date

Exit Through Ye Olde Spanish Gift Shop

Aboard the S.S. Fountain of Youth

Posing with the Sentry
_____________________

The Houghs (technically this was taken on Day II, but I forgot to upload it - my apologies)


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