hi players.on june 13th, we're throwing a laua (or however the hell you spell it) party. you know... big, fat sunburnt guys in hawaiian shirts and skanky native girls in coconut bras. one of those parties. its for the kid's one-year birthday. you're all invited (i'm making mai tais if you're down with rum.)
anyway...
in preparation of our kid's birthday laua, kris and i took stock of our hawaiian wardrobes and realized they were somewhat lacking. what followed was an epic quest across orlando - back and forth, back and forth - in order to find yours truly the ultimate hawaiian shirt. our journey lasted about three hours, and just about every middle-of-the-road retailer - kohl's, jc penney's, target, your mom's, etc. - was frequented. i picked up a shirt from kohl's that kris despised and that i, myself, wasn't too fond of either... but i wasn't about to go home empty-handed.
not after that odyssey.
but, as we were heading home, we opted to stop at one more store: wal-mart. yes, i hate wal-mart just as much as you do, folks. they kill small business and have out-of-wedlock relations with its wife. i'm well aware of this. but, when hawaiian shirts are on the line, all bets are off: i was on a quest.
in the end, i found two awesome shirts for $1 less than the one shitty shirt i purchased at kohl's (which still has yet to refund that $22.39 - c'mon people. seriously.) i was contemplating (briefly) on taking a picture of the shirt and posting it here, for all the world to see, but then realized that was way too much effort to put into one blog entry that probably twelve people are ever going to read, and that, out of those initial twelve, maybe only two or three would be interested in what my new hawaiian shirt looks like in the first place.
...and so, to appease those two or three readers/hawaiian shirt affenciandos (or however the hell you spell that) out there, i'll post some later when i update everybody on how the cannonball's first birthday went down. stay tuned.
do i roll?/well i guess/thunder express,
- brian
hero of the hawaiian shirt
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