(tonight the part of 'Ricky' will be played by Fezzig)

you know, kris and i don't come to namin' things easy.

as many of you probably already know, it took us conducting a text message poll before, during, and after kris was in labor in order to tally votes for our own daughter's name (it took until the following morning before 'alayna' finally beat out 'delilah'...).

naming our first dependent - our quaker parrot - was an equally grueling affair before we had finally, after long last, settled upon 'fezzig.' (everything from 'dr.obnauticus' to 'mr. walter snacks' was tossed into the air and later rejected.) alas, we settled upon 'fezzig' because we're both big 'princess bride' fans, and, quite matter-of-factly, andre the giant is just straight-up awesome.

anyway, kris receives word from that lady that adopted fezzig once and awhile, and he's doing really good: his cage is next to the cage of another quaker parrot, and the two of them sit out in the sun and yuck it up together about God knows what. he's well fed and his temperament has improved. all and all, it looks like we did the right thing by giving him up for adoption...

... oh yeah, and the lady renamed him 'ricky.'

'what the hell?!,' you ask, 'can someone just rename a pet like that?' who knows. apparently this lady either vehemently hated the princess bride or else had serious beef with andre the giant... the latter, of course, makes no sense at all. what's not to love about this guy? ->

- brian

ricky's former roommate

How Fezzig Was Voted Off the Island

well readers, today was the day that we had been dreading for quite some time...

...today we finally got rid of fezzig.

it was a difficult decision to come to, as we had had the little guy since november of 2005 and he was part of the family since we became one, but, for everyone's sake involved, it was the right thing to do.

kris drove fezzig over to palm beach (about three hours away from here), where she met two ladies from miami who were former quaker parrot breeders and knew the breed of bird well. we couldn't have chosen better people to give him to - they own other quaker parrots, so fezzig will have company and other birds to talk to (whatever the hell birds talk about, i don't know), and he'll definitely be getting a lot more attention than we could've possibly given him.

all in all, it was the right thing to do, and we're glad he's going to live out the remainder of his years in a loving home as the center of attention... but it still sucks letting him go. i think we're done with pets for awhile now... he's a tough act to follow.

God speed, fezzig - you'll be missed...

- brian

Fezzig Faces the Gallows...

today, a line was drawn in the sand.

we started seeing warning signs last summer that something was starting to go awry with our parrot, fezzig. he started plucking his own feathers out, and wasn't as talkative as he used to be. the most obvious factor for this change in behavior, obviously, was the brand new, fresh-out-of-the-womb kid that kristina had just popped out - our bird was jealous as all hell, and was taking it out on himself/herself.

several months went by, and while his feather plucking did, in fact, cease to an extent, his mood progressively got worse. he started to bite kristina more, and would no longer respond to her commands... which is weird, seeing how she's the one he bonded to when we first got him back in 2005. i, personally, chalk this up to the whole 'lover scorned' thing... but that's just me, and i don't know if parrots do that sort of thing.

i'm not a orthinologist... or whatever they're called.

anyway.

about a week or two ago, as the bird was squawking at the top of its lungs for no apparent reason, and my wits were quite nearly at they're end, kristina and i came to the realization that weren't doing anybody - either ourselves or fezzig - any favors by continuing on in such a fashion.

so we decided that we'd put him on a trial basis for the next couple of weeks and determine whether or not we should put him up for adoption.

its been a pretty hard decision to make on our part - the guy's been part of our family since i returned from africa - but we had to do what was best for everybody, and, honestly, i don't think we can give the guy the attention he deserves at this point. we spoiled the crap out of him when we first got him, and are unable to give him the same level of attention that we did when we were both kid-less and career-less. besides, what happens when kris gets knocked up a second time? or we end up getting a dog? or the dog we ended up getting gets knocked up? these are things we have to think about, and, unfortunately, all signs are pointing towards the adoption of fezzig the ferocious.

we'll keep you posted.

Last Man Standing

what's happening, gang.

i'd like to discuss our bird for a moment, if i may. the subject comes to mind because, as the running trend in our household at present seems to be 'girls, girls, girls!' there's been some light shed recently on our once sexually-ambiguous quaker parrot, fezzig.

let me backtrack for a sec, here: i had gone through a phase, upon my return from africa, where i really, really wanted a parrot. don't ask me why, i just did. anyway, long story short, kris eventually caved and we ended up purchasing fezzig in mid-november of 2005 from a pet store in lansing, MI.. for those of you who are unaware of such things, its practically impossible to determine the sex of a bird unless you have its DNA taken... which costs upwards of $200. neither kris nor myself cared enough about this to find out whether fezzig was into dudes or chicks.

there are telling signs, however. birds who tend to bond to female humans better are usually males, while those who'd rather hang out with males are generally females. opposites attract. that ol' tale. fezzig immediately bonded to kris, who therefore did most of the early training with it, etc. and, because of this, we figured fezzig was a male. don't get me wrong, here - to date, the bird and i get along just fine, but it definitely prefers kris when it comes to talking, etc.

at least it did.

rather recently, i noticed fezzig's been rubbing up against - or, backing up and rubbing its ass against - a lot of its toys and perches in its cages with its tail straight up in the air. in a rather comical and promiscuous manner. pushing three years now, fezzig's right about at sexual maturity for a bird. and, while it might be pretty disgusting to observe such behavior, its all perfectly normal. what was out of the norm, however, was fezzig's changing attitude towards kris. being the genius i am, i attributed to an animal's weird sixth sense about kris carrying another lifeform in her stomach. you hear about that sorta thing from time to time, and animals always are the first to sense natural disasters like hurricanes and tsunamis and the like. right? okay then. anyway, fezzig started preferring yours truly, and began snipping at kris given the opportunity. it even became less interested in hanging out with us off its cage. stuff like that.

i decided to read up on this, being the scholar that i am, and became suddenly aware that fezzig was showing the telltale signs of a female bird. the tail up in the air while rubbing itself against toys, the growing hostility towards females of any species, etc.

so fezzig, as it turns out now, is probably a female. and, for those mathematicians out there, that means that yours truly now gets the privilege of living with three chicks come june.

cowabunga.

- brian