Jam Sessions, Star Wars, and More Random Nonsense from November

Welcome back to the land of weirdness.

I haven't posted randoms in awhile.  So here you go - some day-to-day crap from the once-ninth month of the year. . .

The Cannonball gets a lot of attention around the house when it comes to playing music (usually in the form of us pulling our hair out over her reluctance to practice her violin), but lately we've been making more of an effort to include Abby in learning instruments, as she's past the age when we started introducing it to Alayna.

The strings on her violin need to be changed in the worst way, and so until her instructor can replace them she has to pluck the strings with her fingers instead of using the bow (FYI - if you've ever wanted to know what a cat sounds like being sodomized, try dragging a bow across some worn-out violin strings.)

Abby explains to me how you're supposed to play the ukulele.

Impromptu jam session.

She wanted to try out the guitar.  I don't think its her size.

Trying to play her violin sheet music with her uke.

Clearing out some shelf space for next week's Christmas decor invasion. . .

As previously discussed, Alayna asked for a drum set for Christmas.  Although we have absolutely NO intention of buying her one for Christmas, I still thought she'd enjoy hitting up the Guitar Center around the corner in order to check out the available sets and price a few things out.  For a junior-sized drum set - like the Ludwig set designed by ?uestlove you see in the background of the pic above - you're looking at dropping at least $300 or $400. . . and that's before you buy the cymbals and stands.  Sure, you can get a $100 set that includes a bass drum, a snare, a tom, and a cymbal. . . but that's little more than a toy, and I forbid any Hough from drumming on such nonsense.

One of Alayna's book report projects for school (I think she used some Fancy Nancy book for this. . . something to do with cupcakes.)  Kris, of course, had to make sure that Alayna's project and presentation was leaps and bounds beyond what was expected.

Kris had the girls working a game booth for Sunchild at a local Relay for Life event. . .

A Bozo the Clown staple

Our kids take awesome pictures.

Crafty.

(I think this lady works for some kind of gymnastics program. . .)

. . . or Ninja School.  I like the sound of 'Ninja School' way better.

Of course they had bounce houses.

AFLAC

Rocking some cold weather clothing for school (scoff if you want, but we've had some chilly weather down here lately.)

Abby bought this Noah's Ark thing at her Sunday school with some Bible Bucks.  She's obsessed with it.  Who knows why.

You know you've raised nerds when your offspring demand a private lesson in Ancient History on a Saturday morning. . .

The girls are getting to that age where they don't want to be disturbed in the bathroom.  Not looking forward to the next twelve years. . .

In closing, I'd like to share something with all of you.  Actually, I'd like to brag about it, if I may.

As you all know, for the last three or four years, I've attempted - in vain - to introduce my offspring to the almighty cinematic gloriousness of the Star Wars saga.  Alas, all of my attempts to get them into the series have been in vain - the kids just weren't having it.

Until now.

I'm not sure what it was this time around that worked - maybe it was Alayna being six, maybe the planets were properly aligned, who knows - but both kids were hooked.  I decided to utilize the infamous 'Machete Order' in introducing the girls to Star Wars, as it is - by far - the best way to view the saga (unless you can get your hands on one of those fan-made two-hour-long edit jobs that summarize the first two movies in an hour-and-a-half and cut all the crap out of the prequels.

I highly recommend you check out the order's merits on Youtube or Google, but - in a nutshell - here's how it works:

You start off with A New Hope, as God intended, but then after you wrap up Empire, you hit the brakes and back pedal to Episode II and III.  Then, when you round out the movies with Return of the Jedi, that final battle between Luke and Vader becomes all the more climactic, and you can truly appreciate the scope of what's happening, having worked your way through the back story.

Wait a minute, you might be thinking, what about Episode I?  How come that's nowhere to be found in this viewing order?

That's why it's called the Machete Order, folks - Jar Jar, all that blabity-blah concerning metaclorians, and every other terrible, nauseating, gut-wrenchingly bad aspect of Episode I had been cut out the Star Wars saga.  With a f***ing machete.

. . .and balance has been brought to the Force.

If you want proof about just how badass this viewing order is, check out the following clip:

- Brian

The Great Cordoba Heist

As some of you may or may not already know, I used to play the drums.  Awesomely.


Alas, the last time I touched a set was the infamous Virgil Q's Dixieland Kazoo Revue show, the night before I graduated from Western Michigan (at 8am... that was rough).  Anyway, two months after flying out to Africa and beginning my stint of service with the Peace Corps, my set was stolen out of a storage unit and I haven't played the drums since.

I still cry a little whenever I see a drum set.

Ovation Balladeer LX

Anyway, I tried picking up guitar for awhile, and played the hell out of it while in Africa.  And while it was easier than the drums, I never really got all that excited about it.  Nowadays we have three acoustics lying around the house collecting dust (if my instruments were kids, my guitars would be those emotionally-scarred, forgotten children from a previous marriage).

Michael Kelly F-Style Mandolin

Well, when I got back from the Peace Corps I decided it'd be a good idea to try out a new instrument, and made the genius move of dropping $600 on a fancy mandolin (not my wisest purchase by any means)... only to realize later that learning the mandolin was about as hard as translating the Rosetta Stone (i.e. nearly impossible).

The Uke-ular Arsenal

Finally, in 2008, I picked up the ukulele, and took to it like a hobo to crack (or bottom shelf gin, depending on the hobo).  Since inheriting my grandpa's old Harmony concert uke, I've slowly been adding to my 'Uke-ular Arsenal' (much to the wife's dismay).  I've acquired a few sopranos and another concert, but have really been wanting a tenor-sized ukulele (they have a longer fretboard and a deeper, richer sound).

Cordoba 25TK Koa Tenor

So, over the course of the last few months, I've conducted some intense research - both online and in music stores.  Eventually, I settled on the Cordoba Tenor 25TK - their top-of-the-line, solid koa wood ukulele.  Check it out.  It's gorgeous, but, at $400, not something I could get away with spending on myself with Christmas coming up.

Then, one day, as I sat in my office at work during my planning period, I decided to check something out on Amazon.  When I opened up my account page - BAM!! - I noticed that the Cordoba 25TK had dropped down to $176... and there were only three left.

Immediately, I crapped my pants...

 

Then, after driving home from work, I checked online again.  One of the three had already sold.  So, throwing caution to the wind, I signed up for one of those Amazon credit cards and pounced on the uke.

Minutes later, the price sky-rocketed back up to $302.


So, as I'm an Amazon Prime member, I received the instrument with free two-day shipping.  Upon tuning the instrument, I realized there was some rattling going on when playing the C and E strings.  At first I thought it was the nut, but there was something metal rattling about in the headstock whenever I shook the instrument.  I had no idea what the hell this was.

In the past, I've had great customer service from the local Guitar Center luthier - he's fixed a couple of my ukes in the past - so I took it in to him to have a look over it.  He, too, at first had no idea where the rattling was coming from, but eventually figured it out:  turns out that two of the tuning peg plates was loose, causing the vibration whenever the strings were played.  At $15, not a huge deal at all.

Nevertheless, I wasn't pleased I had to drop $15 on an instrument right out of the box - even if it was already 70% off the list price.  I wrote Amazon a pointed letter, citing poor product oversight on their part in their shipping the product to me in such a state.  Within hours, they notified me that they no longer had the instrument, and that it was sold through a third-party seller.  To satisfy me, the disgruntled consumer, they offered to refund me 30% - $65!! -  for my trouble.

Taking all this into consideration, this meant that I was able to score a beautiful, new ukulele that normally costs $400 for a mere $115.

The lesson to take away from this whole ordeal?  Use Amazon for everything. Everything possible.  Definitely doing so for Christmas this year.

Holy Jebus do I love that site...

- Brian

A Failed Date and a New Uke

Hi gangsters.

So Kris and I don't go out on 'dates' much anymore. Having kids more or less means you can't. Yeah, we could dump them off onto one of our friends, but... who wants to put up with our kids for three or four hours? That isn't fun for anyone. We only put up with our kids' crap because the government makes us.

Well, if anyone's capable of putting up with loud-mouth, obnoxioux kids, it's my Mom - she raised three of them. She offered to watch the kids Friday so that Kris and I could go out and catch dinner and a movie. So, for the first time in over a year, Kris and I were able to head out into town without towing our two disaster bombs with us.

Yet, as you're about to see, God apparently doesn't like Kris and I going out on dates any more than our kids do.

Observe:


Peril struck from the get-go. We first stopped off at a Dunkin Donuts for a couple coffees, as we had spent the entire afternoon in the sun and were pretty groggy. Alas, upon getting back into my car, it failed to start. Eventually, my mom had to drive out and rescue us - our two kids in tow. After jumping the car and taking it back to the house, we were forced to take Kris' mega van out on our 'date' instead.

Back to square one, an hour or so later than we had initially planned. Time for dinner.

We had originally wanted to check out this Banzari sushi place that we had somehow aquired a $25 gift certificate for. Not enough to cover the dinner, mind you, but it'd take a solid chunk out of our eventual bill. Well, long story short, Google Maps had us driving all over the damn place - for an hour! - in search of this mystical restaurant, and, in the end, the stupid restaurant was located inside a timeshare resort that charged $15 for parking. So, unwilling to pay this, we said 'screw it,' abandoned the endeavor entirely, and hit up another sushi joint we had frequented before.

(If this had been our very first date, I don't think I'd be seeing Kris again.)

Anyway, at this other place, which overall was pretty good, we ended up forking out a $45 bill (which is way more than we generally like to spend for a non-anniversary dinner). The sushi was good, but it wasn't that good. Nay, a decent piece of our bill stemmed from me feeling it necessary to purchase a hot bottle of sake. I wanted to try it, since I'd had cold sake numerous times but never the hot kind where they give you little shot glasses to drink out of. Well, since Kris doesn't drink, that left Yours Truly in charge of hammering away at this thing (I wasn't about to let it go to waste).

(F.Y.I. - not the best-tasting stuff, if you've never had it.)

Now, by the time we were out of the restaurant, we had missed the movie start time (of course), so instead we hit up something considerably more awesome: Guitar Center.

Now, I grew up playing the piano and the drums, but around the time I joined the Peace Corps and went off to Africa, I started getting into guitar. For a few years, I really got into this, but, over time, my interest waned (to me, its just not as fun as the drums - not even close). So I picked up the mandolin (mine is a Michael Kelly F-Style Tobacco Burst - absolutely gorgeous instrument), but this felt a bit too foreign to figure out.

The solution? The ukulele.

This is truly the instrument of the gods. I had a couple already - a small souvenir uke I picked up at a garage sale, a vintage Harmony uke I inherited from my grandpa after he passed (slightly larger than a concert, but not quite as big as a tenor), and an Oscar Schmidt OU5 Concert uke.


At Guitar Center, I picked up a Lanikai LU-21 Soprano uke, which is, according to pretty much every source you can track down and find, the best quality starter uke you can buy. Period:


I wanted a uke that I could take to the beach or camping and not worry about messing up, scratching, breaking, or getting wet. I also wanted a soprano, since my others are all in the concert/tenor range, and I wanted something with that nostalgic, plinkier, Hawaiian vintage sound. This uke has that, and I managed to get it from Guitar Center for $65.


I could've saved five or ten bucks and gotten it online, but I wanted to handle a few different instruments in person before purchasing one. This was a wise move on my part, as the first boxed-up Lanikai the guy brought me from the back was slightly messed up (there were pin-sized gaps between the fret board and the neck, which, although miniscule, could lead to a widening gap). The second one had a few cosmetic flaws, which were minor, but I wanted a nice finish on it. The third uke he brought out was perfect, and so that's the one I took home.


So, all in all, our date out wasn't a complete loss - I got a brand new uke out of the deal, one that I can take out on future family adventures. Consider that the silver lining of an otherwise chaotic night.

- Brian