Yet Another Day at the Races

What's goin' on, America.

As some of you know, Abby has had some pretty impressive feats of prowess in Pinewood Derby (er, 'Powder Puff Derby,' if you're a Girl Scout) racing through her Girl Scout troops. 

She and Papa John have a definite system down for how they create their race cars.  First, she picks out the design by Google image searching race cars, then he creates the car in his workshop and coats the body in a graphite lubricant to create an air-tight, heavy aerodynamic exterior.  She the sands down the graphite to fill in any holes in the wood, picks a color, and together they spray paint it.  He then takes the car and adds weights to it, removes access wood, and adds on the wheels.  She then paints the finishing touches on it, and it's ready to go.

The first year they worked together on this, Abby's broke multiple speed records and captured the Gold Medal for speed in her designated category (they break down the top three in speed for each level of Girl Scouts - Daisies, Brownies, Juniors, CSAs, etc.)  This was pretty impressive, so we weren't expecting to hit this goal again.

Little did we know we'd surpass it.

Check it out. . .

These races were supposed to start at 2:00pm, with check-in/car-weighing slated to start at 12:30.  Abby and I showed up right at 12:30 in order to snag front-row seats for the afternoon races, and therefore sat around for quite a bit while the gaggle of moms who were running this shit-show bumbled through every step of the process.  We didn't get underway until nearly 3:00pm (yes, you read that right - I had to sit in a chair and wait for nearly two-and-a-half f***ing hours.)  Didn't help things that between each race they had to rely on a couple idiot boy scouts to fetch designated cars from an ill-placed table at the far end of the church.  This meant there was about five minutes between each of the 60-plus races.  This is the very definition of a clusterf***, folks.

Abby, racing in the Juniors Bracket, didn't actually start racing until an hour or so into the races.  They burned through the Daisies and Brownies first, which took a long-ass time because there's far more Daisies and Brownies than Juniors.  In the very first race, Abby laid waste to her competitors.

By the time the Juniors took the track, the top speed recorded that day was around 210 mph.  Right out of the gate, Abby's car showed promise. . .

Second race.

She set a new record for the day with her second race (I missed the pop up window that displayed this notification, sadly.)

Third race.

Her slowest race.  Still faster than nearly all of the other cars that had raced that day.  Just sayin'.

Ella and Abby, on the edge of their seats.  All of the chairs in the front row on either side of the race track had kids sitting in them, but I refused to move - I wanted my vantage spot.  F*** those kids. 

Yet another record set, in her fourth and final race of the afternoon.

Abby took 1st Place in Speed, yet again, this time for the Juniors bracket, but I kept track of race times throughout the afternoon, and she had the second-fastest car there (the fastest car belonged to some high schooler.)  I was pretty pleased with this.

Showing off her new hardware.  She's back-to-back Champion of her age group - second year in a row she's taken Gold.

Had to get a pic of these two BFFs in front of the sign. . .

The winning team, after the races (I didn't realize that she wore the exact same sweatshirt last year at this thing.)

- Brian

Another Day at the Races

What's up, Internet.

Quite regularly, we find ourselves discussing the Girl Scouts throughout this here blog of ours.  This shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone, honestly, seeing how both girls are involved in their own troops, and Kris is a co-leader of one of them (Abby's.)  Meetings, fundraisers, cookie booths, field trips (or whatever the hell the Girl Scout equivalent is called), service projects, door-to-door pressure sales, you name it.

And also Pinewood Derbies.

These, I don't mind these too much.  I'm not big into Nascar or anything like that, but watching little kids compete all afternoon for their parents' admiration?  Watching other kids' parents eyeball one another's cars with scrutiny and jealousy?  The soaring highs and gut-wrenching lows of the various heats?  Honestly, these derbies have less to do with the girls themselves than the dads, uncles, and grandfathers who actually built the cars.  And those dudes get really into Pinewood Derby. . .

I love every minute of it.

See?  South Park gets it.

Me?  I don't fancy myself a carpenter at all, and so, like last time, we had Papa John step in to assist Abby with her car.  He had shaped out Alayna's car back in 2016, and then she painted it up like one of those God-awful Minions.  Abby requested a 'pink Lamborghini,' so John shaped it accordingly and spray-painted it a solid pastel Barbie-esque pink.  Afterwards, I helped Abby do some customization with a black sharpie marker (complete with "Girls Rule" scrawled in fancy script along the front hood of the car.)

As it turns out, Abby's car was destined for greatness, as you're about to see here.  She was an absolute juggernaut on the tracks, and dozens of girls and their pitiful cars fell before her.

I have to say, it was incredibly satisfying watch so many dads gnash their teeth in frustration over her string of victories.

Check it out. . .

Registering for the races.  The organization of this year's races were much better organized than the one we went to in 2016.  There was no waiting around for hours and hours here - the entire thing was over and done with in an hour and a half.  Furthermore, each series of races was broken up by age group, so all of Abby's races took place within a half-hour time-frame.  It made the day go by a hell of a lot faster than last time, I can tell you that much.

Alayna (who's troop didn't want to participate this year), Ella (whose mom, Courtney, co-leads Abby's troop), and Abby.

They gave out the Participation medals right at the beginning of the races.  You can tell the people putting this on think very highly of the Participation medals.

After all the Daisy troops raced (the age group below Abby's), it was time to get into the Brownie races.  Abby's car is second from left, in the third lane.

Kris took a video of this race with her phone, but the file was too large to upload here.  At least she got the reaction after Abby's car blew everyone else's out of the water.

Abby in the second lane this time, a few races later (sometimes kids would go twice in a row, sometimes you had to wait ten or fifteen minutes between races, but it was nothing like the last time around.)

Ka-BOOM.

That's not a race, it's a blood bath.  Check out those times.

This kid was pumped.

Life in the First Lane.

Third race.

Where are the other cars?

One of the other cars didn't even make it to the finish line.  Abby was dominating the competition at this point.

Archa (at the far right) is also in Abby's troop, and sat in the front row with the others throughout most of the races.

The Championship - Abby in the fourth lane now (which, by me and a few other dads' reasoning, was a little slower than the other three - the times weren't consistent with the other three lanes.)  Ella's car is in the first lane here - her car was also undefeated, and the other two had only lost a race or two themselves.  This was the final race of the Brownies.

A definite nail-biter, as you can see Abby's car was slowed down by the fourth lane.  It was pretty head-to-head there.

In the end, the Houghs prevailed.

We had to wait around for about 45 minutes while the Juniors and whatever the hell the age group after the Juniors were ran their heats.  While Kris and I hung out with Ella's parents (Erik and Courtney), Alayna borrowed Kris' phone and occupied herself in the usual manner.

Abby and Ella.

 

Announcing the winners in each category.  For each age group, they awarded 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place for Best Design and 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place for Speed, as well as Best Girl Scout Theme (whatever the hell that means.)  Abby's car took 1st Place for Speed, which was a shocker to no one, honestly. 

Abby accepts the Gold.

When they announced her name for 1st place, the presenters referred to her as 'Abigail Hugh.'  So here Ella's whispering at her to tell them the correct pronunciation for the name 'Hough.'  The presenters were nice enough to oblige.

To the victor go the spoils.

Some of the Troop (not sure where the others were.)

The Winning Team.

- Brian