Of Brians and Chrises, Pt. II

 (contd.)

The doors to the barn opened up and Rowley walked his mom down the aisle. He didn't have any ushers for the ceremony aside from my brother, Chris, who walked Chelsey's mom down to her seat earlier.

I walked Chris' wife, Ashley, down before taking my position at the center of the dais (or whatever you call it.)

Brent and my step-sister, Jill.

Excitement builds as the doors are closed behind the final groomsmen and Chelsey (and her dad) prepare to make their big entrance.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Bryan Rowley.

Groomsmen (Three Brians, a Brent, another Chris, and another Joe.)

Gettin' down to business. Like I said before, I wasn't nervous about this at all (had I been delivering a Best Man speech, where I was supposed to entertain, it would have been a far different story), and just read off a pre-agreed upon script that I had already shared with Bryan and Chelsey. I was going to start off with the famous 'Mawiage..' opener from the wedding scene in The Princess Bride, and was really close to opening like that, but most of the fifty attendees were elderly family members, and I don't think most of them would've gotten the joke. Having skipped that zinger, I ad libbed here and there, but mostly just followed the script. Easy work, folks. 

Chelsey and Bryan and originally told me they were writing their own vows to exchange during the ceremony, but about a week before the wedding they told me they had said 'screw it' and wanted that part left out. This shortened the length of the ceremony considerably, so the whole thing clocked in at less than ten minutes, probably.

Declaration of Intent and the Ring Exchange took the most time, but it was still a super fast wedding.

Making out in front of family members.

Pronouncement (finally) of these two as husband and wife.

After the pronouncement, the bridal party took turns going back down the aisle into the barn. Ashley was the last to go, and stopped by me to accompany her back down the aisle. . . but I still had to read a paragraph that gave the audience instructions for what to do next (something along the lines of 'the bride and groom invite you to join them for cocktails in the courtyard following the ceremony. . .' etc. etc.), so she had to stand next to me awkwardly until I was done with that, then I was ready to head back down the aisle. After the audience had wandered over for drinks and snacks in the courtyard, the family of the bride and groom headed back down to the ceremony area for some family photos.

Bryan, Chelsey, and all their siblings, step-siblings, and siblings-in-law.

We also knocked out the obligatory bridal party shots at this time, too.

Why does Kris look so intense in this selfie?

Little Borther and Spouse.

Parentals.

Originally I was gonna post all these wedding pics after the official ones came out, buuuuuut who knows when that will be, so you can just deal with the ones that someone (I think my Dad) snapped off to the side.

Seems to be the big thing to do these days with photographers - get a pic of people casually walking towards them in slow motion. After years of doing this with Collier for our family pics, I have this shit locked in.

Some groomsmen-only one where she asked us to put our sunglasses on. We look like frickin' Reservoir Dogs.

Another walking one, this time where we had to button up our jackets.

The Groomsmen were able to disperse as the photographer switched gears to get pics of just the bride and her bridesmaids, so some folks went up to the courtyard to grab a cocktail, while others took more required pics with relatives, spouses, etc.

Had to get a couple with the ol' ball and chain, of course.

With pictures done, we walked up to the courtyard and grabbed some drinks. They had a set of cornhole boards up there, soooo Houghs decided to to Hough.

Went with a Borthers vs. Wives match-up, with Nicole and me at one end. . .

. . . and Kris and Chris at the other (Brian White hung out and spectated for the majority of it.)

We play a lot of cornhole these days (we have regulation boards ourselves, so while we're not outright awesome at it, we're better than what we were.)

Chris was throwing like shit this afternoon, so despite my valiant efforts the wives pulled away from us.

Kris/Chris selfie.

To the victors go the spoils. . .

Grabbing another cocktail before heading into the barn for the reception.

Chelsey shows off her custom-made Converse for the reception and after-party (so as to avoid having to hang out in frickin' heels until late that night.)

After a bit, folks were seated at their designated tables, and the bridal party hung back outside (for a couple more drinks) to prepare for our big entrance.

Ashley came up with an entrance gag for us at the last minute. I didn't know this was the new thing to do, but, then again, I haven't been in a wedding since 2013.

Once everyone had been seated, it was time for the Maid of Honor and Best Man speeches. Chelsey's sister, as Maid of Honor, kicked things off, reading a speech she had typed up off her phone. Brian White - Rowley's Best Man - had been stressed about a speech all morning, and repeatedly asked me what he should do (he didn't write up anything in advance.) I gave him some suggestions but he didn't really formulate anything beforehand. Nevertheless, when he got up on the mic he frickin' knocked it out of the park - it was funny, on point, appropriately timed, as if it had been written down in advance. Insane.

Newlyweds, applauding the speeches.

They had personalized, little wooden name thingies and champagne flutes to help folks know where to sit. The bridal party and close family sat along these large farm tables, with extended family and friends at smaller, round satellite tables off to the side.

First dance as husband and wife, following dinner.

Then ones with the moms.

After food had been cleared, folks began drinking and dancing more and things livened up.

Brians.

Jill, Chelsey and the Michaels'.

Lot of selfies taken throughout the night, that's for damn sure.

Rowley sandwich.

Chelsey and some groomsmen (no idea where I was at this point in time.)

I don't like the lens flare here - makes me think my contacts are all smudged up or some shit.

It wouldn't be a big, booze-soaked social event without some drama, and there definitely was some during the reception and afterwards. I won't get in to most of it, but let's just say that this Michael Myers mask caused a few injuries over the course of the evening. . .

The next morning, folks slept in a bit - it had been a long day and an evening longer night - but by 9/10am folks were stirring and wandering over to the Clubhouse for breakfast (and mimosas.)

Someone had one of those Blackstone grills on hand and Brian White set to grilling up eggs and other breakfast staples for everyone.

I helped by taking pictures of him hard at work while drinking a Bloody Mary. You know, what I always do.

Spotted some kinda small lizard scurrying up a tree close by the back porch. Used to see crap like this all the time back when we lived in Florida, but - despite what some of the other guys were insisting - Michigan does not have lizards.

Grazing, later in the morning.

Whenever I travel away from home, my IBS acts up like a motherf***er. I was blocked up all weekend, with intense stomach cramps on and off (fortunately not during the ceremony, though.) Jill gave me some of this tea she had lying around (don't ask me why), but it didn't work at all.

Shortly after our late breakfast/lunch/whatever, folks broke out beer pong tables and cornhole boards - something competitive to do while drinking and snacking.

Brent brought a satellite he uses for work - some portable job with a 75 foot power cord - in order to grab an internet signal strong enough to stream the Detroit Lions game. Signal was great, but unfortunately the Lions were not: despite winning the last six or seven weeks in a row, they were down 28-0 at the end of the first half. Most folks lost interest after that.

Watching the 'game' (if you can even call it that.)

Kris tries her hand at Beer Pong. 

Joe's wife, Hannah, and Kris.

Yours Truly and Chelsey's sister (forgot her name.)

I ended up taking an hour-long nap shortly after this and was out of commission for a spell.

Upon waking up, it was just about dinner time, so as folks continued to grill up food we broke into these custom-made beers that Chelsey and Bryan and made up. All the bridal party got a sixer to take home with them at the end of the weekend, too.

Dusk is getting earlier and earlier these days, so we started a couple fires in the firepit.

Two different wood styles for this evening: the classic Tee-pee design (at left) and the Cabin design (at right.) Now, in my humble opinion, I prefer starting the fire using the tee-pee method, then graduating to the much more efficient, slower-burning cabin style once it's up and running.

For the rest of the night, folks bounced back and forth between the fire and inside the Clubhouse by the pool table, enjoying one last night of one another's company before we all had to return to normal life the following day. 

Chelsey and Bryan's beer, discarded in flames. The next morning (if you can even call it that) Kris, the Whites, and I had to get out of bed ar f***ing' 3:00am. This was excruciating for all parties involved (seeing how we had stayed up until about 12:30am, thereabouts) but especially Brian White, who drove out of Tennessee and into Kentucky while Jill, Kris and I were all fast asleep. By the time we all woke up, halfway through Kentucky, he was running on fumes and Kris took over driving duties until we hit Michigan. Long story short, folks, Kris and I got home around 4pm, and spent the rest of the evening showering, changing into pajamas, and otherwise just sitting around on the couch and vegging out in front of the TV. Like I said before, it was a really fun weekend for sure, but it was also physically draining. By the end of the weekend, it was good to be home.

- Brian