The Cannonball's First Homecoming

Welcome back, America.

So our resident Freshman had her first Homecoming tonight.  To say she was excited for it would definitely be an understatement:  she started talking about it last year when she was still in 8th Grade, for Christ's sake.  For months she had been dropping reminders that she wanted to go dress shopping with her friends - even back in the summer - and started making Amazon lists for the various accessories (shoes, necklaces, purses, etc.) that she was considering for her outfit.  This, truth be told, is so far removed from how she usually is it's scary:  this is a girl who can usually be seen in a baggy sweatshirt, ripped jeans, and Converse.

Well, last month Kris and Ana (Alayna's friend Cristina's mom) took the two girls out dress shopping one weekend.  After stopping off at like three or four different places, Alayna finally found a dress she wanted. But this wasn't the end of the prep work, folks - no, Kris and Ana had to take the girls out a few more times over the following couple weekends.  For shoes, for jewelry, etc.  It was a never-ending shopping list of absolute bullshit.

So glad I wasn't involved in most of it.

Anyway, while Kris was involved with the shopping process, Yours Truly was involved with the picture-taking process.  Alayna and her friends all decided that they were going to take their group pictures at Midland's Dow Gardens, an elaborate, planned series of gardens that snakes out behind the Midland Community Center.  For years, city residents have used the Gardens as a backdrop for graduation portraits, engagement announcement sessions, Christmas Cards, and - you bet your sweet ass, America - Prom and Homecoming pictures.  When Alayna announced to us that her group of friends wanted their Homecoming pictures taken at Dow Gardens, I complained very loudly and very frequently.  For days.  Nearly every other high school-age asshole in the city would be there, each armed with two stupid parents, all trying to get the same cool angles in the background of their Homecoming pics.  

Alas, Kris sided with the Freshman and told me to suck it up and deal with the crowds for the time being - "it's her first Homecoming, let her be excited."  etc. etc.

F***.

Well, we got there at 5:30pm to meet up with the other six or seven families in Alayna's group of friends going to the dance later that evening, and - just as I predicted - about 25,000 assholes were all jostling through the entry point to get into Dow Gardens, to do the exact same thing we were trying to do.

God, I hate people.

So check it out, folks - the Cannonball's First Homecoming. . .

Upon arrival at the Dow Gardens, we immediately met up with Cristina and her parents, Ana and Brad.

Alayna kept texting her other friends, trying to figure out when everyone else was showing up (only us and the Geibs had showed up on time.)

Getting a few, quick portraits of just Alayna before all her friends arrived.

Because we were still waiting on, like, six or seven other families at this point, we had to hang back by the main entrance to the Gardens. 

Kris and Ana kept telling the girls to 'bend one of their knees slightly' while taking their pictures, and Brad and I kept making fun of them for saying it.  So Kris took this picture of us trying to do it (I look like someone's knee-capping me.)

Lexi (who just showed up at this point, with her mom), Cristina, and Alayna.

Abby, who came along with us, asked to climb up these rocks so Kris could take her picture.  Because it's Abby.

A couple more people show up.  I don't remember the girl all the way to the Far Left, but she's a new addition to Alayna's usual group of friends.  Then there's Cristina, Cristina's date/boyfriend Hunter, Lexi and Alayna.

This was by far the hardest spot in the Gardens to get - you had to wait in line for your chance in front of this man-made waterfall.  Once the group of kids had their pic taken (the previous one) I held Alayna back (because f*** the other parents waiting in line) to get a few of just her.

Kris wanted a family picture right after that. . .

Gabby and Tobi (the two at the far right) showed up with their families right after our waterfall pics. . .

Gabby and Alayna

That Tobi kid doesn't like her pic taken, and the other kids in their group still hadn't shown up by this point in time, so we just kept walking through the damn Gardens, taking pics of these kids in front of random shit. . .

This kid with the bow isn't one of their friends, but some of the parents knew this kid's dad or some shit, so she randomly just started appearing in my kids' Homecoming pictures.  Oh well.

This is probably the best one I got of Alayna throughout the evening - the lighting is just about perfect.

One of the last spots we all set up on was this bridge.

This is what's going on behind the pictures, folks.  Me and this. (You can spot Kris, third from the right.)

Ava (with the jacket over her shoulders) finally shows up.

The full crew (plus that random kid in the bow.)

Cristina and Ava's boyfriends just so happen to be best friends or some shit, so Alayna coordinated this picture of the four of them on the bridge.  She was very proud of herself.

By this point in time, it was time to leave Dow Gardens and drive Alayna over to Old Chicago Pizza (down by the Mall), where the group of freshmen had a reservation at 6:30pm.  Following a dinner there, the group car-pooled to Midland High for the Homecoming Dance, which lasted until, like, 11:30pm or some shit.  I don't know, it was late and we were all tired.  And so ends the Cannonball's First Homecoming. . . can't wait to go through all this bullshit again next year. . .

- Brian