As Falls Tahquamenon, So Falls Tahquamenon Falls, Pt. I

Hi gang.

As previously mentioned, this year Kris and I had scheduled another camping venture with my old Sausage Pad compatriot, Smitty, and his girlfriend, Rita.  In the last couple years, it's become an annual thing for us, and, if the Gods are indeed merciful, it will continue to be so.

This year, however, we realized we had to bump up our summer camping outing up a bit.  With Kris getting a new job as an office manager at a new dental office here in town, she wasn't necessarily in the position to take a week off of work.  The third week of August was no longer going to work out for us.  However, her new office took the entire week of the Fourth of July off, which meant she could take that whole week off without using any vacation time whatsoever.

Cowabunga.

Behold:  the Almost Canada.

Fortunately for all parties involved, this schedule change worked out just fine.  The planets were able to align, and all that was left for us to do was choose a destination in Michigan in which to stake our tents.  As you may recall, in previous years, we've camped out in Traverse City and up in the straits of Mackinaw.  This time, we decided to roll up our sleeves a bit, leaving behind the congestion of the easier-accessible locals, and strike out into the wilds of the True North:  The Upper Peninsula.

Tahquamenon Falls.

Kris' van, packed to the hilt.

We'd be staying for six nights and seven days - a far cry more than the three-night/four-day stints we were used to.  Every year we go camping, we accrue more and more camping supplies, and it takes longer and longer to set everything up.  For such an arduous process, it made more sense to stay longer.

(It also went packing waaay more shit.  But I guess that's to be expected.)

With Watson already staying over at Dad and Cindy's in Clare (with his BFF Bailey), we set out early in the morning on what would end up being a five-hour journey into uncharted territory.

Here we go. . .

Tahquamenon Falls - Day One

We were forced to cram our camping stuff in every available nook and cranny of Kris' van that wasn't otherwise being occupied by a human being.  The girls had to rest their feet on cases of water, and place their pillows on a mini-fridge wedged between their two seats (we were bringing a mini-fridge to store condiments and food items this time around, which, in hindsight, was a nearly genius move on our part.)

Default face from the Cannonball.

Before we even pulled out of the garage, Abby had set up a blanket covering her side of the van (tucked behind the DVD player screen ahead of her so that she could still watch a movie on the way up, of course.)

Many hats for my many personalities.

Of course Kris drove.  C'mon.  How am I supposed to take pictures while driving?  Do you think Kris is going to take pictures?

The girls watched the 80's fantasy 'epic' Willow on the way up.  In a complete and total parenting fail on my part, this happened to be the first time the girls had ever seen this classic.  I'm ashamed of myself.

Danger on the horizon. . . .

High Winds warning side.  JUST what one wants to read right before getting on Death Bridge.

Here we go. . .

Driving over the grates, because we sure as hell weren't driving along the rail.

Into the Jaws of Hell go the Houghs

My anxiety couldn't take it, and I had to cover my face with a shirt.  There was a traffic jam on the bridge - ON THE BRIDGE - and Kris was forced to drive about 10mph across a good portion of the bridge's 5-mile span.  It was horrifying.  Most of the people were trucks, campers, and RVs, too - everyone heading north for the holiday week.

Welcome to Almost Canada.

Castle Rock.  We weren't stopping this time around.

Driving through the U.P. - a totally different feel than the real half of Michigan. . .

This is what passes for a 'party store' around these parts, I guess.

Look - how scenic.  This is straight-up Lord of the Rings shit.

Snowmen in June.  I was going to make a joke to Kris about these guys, but it probably does snow in June up in the U.P., so I kept quiet.

Welcome to. . .um. . . Paradise.

When has a vagabond ever been reasonable?

Getting close.

Beautiful Lake Superior, folks.

Arriving at our destination, at the end of a five-hour plus drive.  We reserved a really good campsite in the Lower Falls section of the Tahquamenon State Park (it was cheaper, and a mere 5-minute drive - or 4-hour hike - from the larger, Upper Falls.)

Smitty and Rita were still eating at a restaurant that we had driven by in Paradise, about twelve minutes up the road, and would be about a half an hour behind us in arriving to the site.

There was a slight incline on our site (where you see the grass, at center), so we spent awhile trying to figure out where we were going to place our two tents, along with a 13' x 13' pavilion that the Smitties were bringing up with them.)

We picked up a new, heavy-duty tarp this year for our 20' x 10' three-room monstrosity.

Unpacking all of our ridiculous gear and food items.

Our tent, half-way set up.

Smitty and Rita finally arrive, and start breaking out their gear.  It was ridiculously humid out, and in the lower 90s to boot, so doing anything even remotely strenuous caused one to soak their clothing with sweat.  What could have taken a mere hour in normal conditions ended up taking us over two and a half, when all was said and done.  It was absolutely miserable.

A sweaty, filthy Hough.

Nearly set up.  I had to sit in Kris' air-conditioned van with a beer and dry the sweat off for fifteen minutes before I was able to do anything more, while Smitty had to repeatedly walk away from the set-up process and smoke a cigarette behind the bathrooms.  We're of the same temperament.

There was absolutely zero cell phone signal up where we were camping, despite this gigantic cell phone signal conduit that was about six feet from our site.  Nice job, U.P.

Taking another much-needed break.  In the shade it was about 10 - 15 degrees cooler.

That building, there, is the Bathroom/Shower House.  Much nicer than we had anticipated, thank God.

This beer does not at all reflect the site set-up process.

After we had set up camp and put everything away, Kris and Rita decided to take the girls up to the Lower Falls to check them out.  It had been pretty boring for the girls as the adults set up the campsite, and they were starting to get at each other's throats, so the distraction was a welcome one.  I, personally, didn't have it in me to do anything besides sit in a chair in the shade, so I took a raincheck on this one.

When they came back to the campsite, about an hour later, Smitty and I had dried off a bit and had a beer, and were feeling a lot better, so we loaded up everyone into Kris' van and drove back up to check out the Lower Falls.  I guess it had taken them quite awhile to trek to the falls initially, as they had taken the long-way there, along the side of a road - under the blazing sun - when there was a much-shorter trail through the shaded woods nearby.  You can imagine I was pretty grateful I hadn't been a part of this earlier outing.

The Cannonball busts out her camera.

Abby educates the masses with her map skills.

Back at camp twenty minutes later (there's not much to check out from the viewing platform of the Lower Falls - you have to go down right next to them to really check them out), Kris shows off some of her chopped-up pool noodles she bought to place around the rainfly tie-downs in order to keep people from tripping over them.  Thanks, Pinterest.

Abby not-so-slyly attempts to sneak some double-stuff Oreos out of the back of Smitty and Rita's SUV.

Rita brought up a bunch of pre-cooked meat for this trip - barbecue chicken, taco meat, sloppy joe meat, etc. - along with a crockpot to warm it all up with.  Our planning this year - from who was bringing what food items and paper products, to who was bringing what camping gear - made everything run so much more smoothly than in previous years.

Our fire pit area.  Note the hammock in the background, that Kris bought me this year for Father's Day and I had yet to try out.

Dinner at the Hough/Smitty residence.

Because we were camping during the Fourth of July, we all brought up a shitload of red, white and blue lighting and decorations for our campsite.  Hands down, we were the most patriotic campers in the Tahquamenon State Park (yes, we verified that.)

'Cause Freedom.

I enjoy picking up Kris' phone from time to time and taking weird pictures like this.  My spontaneity is what keeps this marriage alive.

Both us and the Smitties had hit up a dollar store, separately and unaware of the fact that the other was doing the same, in order to buy a bunch of weird odds-and-ends like glow-lights like these.  This mutual mindset has helped us avoid any major drama or personal differences in all the years we've camped together.

S'mores and glow-lights at our first campfire of the vacation.

At the close of the first night.  The girls conked out around 10:30pm, and I brought their psychedelic nightlight/sound machine to help them stay asleep (tents, as you know, have thin walls.)  We adults all stayed up for another hour or two, and after the womenfolks went to sleep, I took a shower in order to avoid what I assumed would be massive lines for the showers in the morning (that, and I was absolutely disgusting with layers of sweat, dirt, sunscreen, and bug spray all over my body - I didn't want to sleep in my filth.)  Smitty, as usual, would stay up until 3am or 4am by himself before retiring for the evening.  But, as you know, that's par for the course when you're camping with Smitty.

(To Be Continued. . .)

- Brian