The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XIX

So it's that time of year again, gang:  Holiday Preseason.

The Houghs, as you know, kick off Holiday Preseason the weekend before Thanksgiving.  I'll spare you the explanation for this, because honestly I feel like every year I have to go into this at some point in the Holiday season.  Long story short, by this point in time, our outdoor Christmas lights have been hung up (but not turned on)), most our holiday shopping has been taken care of (thanks, Amazon), and we're finally to the point where we're pulling out totes of our Christmas decorations in order to Griswald the holy bejesus out of our house.

Yes, by the Sunday before Thanksgiving (also known as today), everything is set up for Christmas except our Christmas Tree (which we throw up the day after Thanksgiving.)

And all that is left, dear readers, is the ritualistic audio-scrutinization of my ever-expanding collection of Christmas Records.

Last year, I shared this quasi-OCD, holiday pastime of mine with all of you, and over the course of a month we, together, took a close look at about twenty or so LPs from my Christmas collection.  Alas, we ran out of time to review everything in my collection, and since then I've also purchased about a dozen more holiday-themed records, so our task is far from over.

So, with that being said, here we f***ing go again. . .

Album Title:  The Sounds of Christmas

Album Artist:  The Three Suns

I should point out, before I get into this too far, that I've spent the last four months frequenting a thrift store conveniently located right across the street from the school I work at.  Single or double LPs sell for 59 cents, and their boxed sets sell for $1.99, regardless of how many records are in that set.

Needless to say my collection has grown substantially since the beginning of the school year.

The reason I bring this up is because many of the albums I'll be reviewing this year come from this thrift store, and are easy to spot by the '.59' price sticker on the front of the album sleeve.  Such as this one:

When the needle first dropped on this one, nothing at all seemed out of the ordinary.  Your usual mid-60s, background instrumental:  quirky organs, sound levels all over the damn place.  Everything sounding more 'churchy' than it probably should.  Nothing awesome, but nothing noteworthy either, to be sure.

Then came the instrument switch-up.  Then another.  Then another.

Now, I don't mind it when random instruments come kicking in through the front door on a track; a great example of how to do it right is on the Rolling Stones' 'Rip This Joint,' when a sax solo comes out of the frickin' blue and feels like the second coming of Jesus.

Anyone ever see Wicker Man?

This?  Not so much.

What we have here sounds a lot like three dudes on amphetamines, locked in a large room with a shitload of instruments, along with one, unfortunate sober guy who's being paid to play certain Christmas songs and keep this disaster of a Christmas album chugging along.  While Sober Guy sighs and diligently plays his piano the other three guys scramble about the room, picking up instruments, plays them for a few measures, tossing them aside, and snatching up another one.  And repeat.

A harpsichord solo followed immediately by a xylophone solo, followed by a tuba solo, followed by an accordion solo?  It's a bit much.

Even for me.

VERDICT:  4/10 - Borophyll  (Make up your mind, fellas.)

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