Maven the Raven's Great Hitching

I've gotten to that age where most of my friends have already gotten married.  That was all the rage in 2006 and 2007, but not so much anymore.  No, nowadays the big hub-ub you hear mention of is who's popping out their first baby and who's popping out their third or fourth.  The wedding ship had more or less already sailed.

1214 Oak Street, ca. 2002

Queue Maven the Raven.

Lil' Maven - one of the stalwarts of the glorious 1214 era - was finally settling down and tying the knot.  He'd been dating a fellow teacher of his out in Jackson or Hippie Grove or some other such hipster dive out West (where ski bums sit around and drink snobbish beer and listen to music no one's ever heard of).  Anyway, they were planning on having the wedding at the end of the month in Miami, since his fiance's family are of Cuban descent and are, obviously, all from that area.

Hey kids, it's TV's David Caruso !

This was indeed good news for Adam and I since it was only a three-hour drive away.  I, personally, have missed quite a few weddings over the course of the last few years since I'm always working and can't afford to take the time off (not to mention drop the hundreds of dollars on plane tickets, hotels, rental cars, etc.) every time an old high school, college, or Peace Corps buddy up and decides to get hitched.

Nay, a wedding in our own backyard was way cooler.  So, sans wives and offspring, the two of us sallied forth into the not-so far-off wilds of Miami-Dade in order to witness our little buddy's nuptials.

Enjoy.

- Brian

We took Adam's truck, and set out Saturday morning after loading up a cooler full of 'coffee' and energy drinks. . .

Scenic Miami.  Our GPS got confused as we closed in on our exit, and we consequently were forced to take a victory lap through some questionable area of town.  Fun times.

Oh yeah, and it rained.

Closing in on our hotel. . .

So THAT'S what Alf's been up to. . .

Cordial greetings from scenic... Miami.

Ho-tel, Mo-tel Holiday Innnnnn!

Alas, no Skinemax. .

Holiday Inn swings both ways, folks. . .

This is the first and last time I've ever ironed these pants. . .

Headquarters.

The Command Center.

Invitation de Grande.

Using technology, we were saddened to learn that our eventual walk back from the reception to the hotel would take us right past. . . a police station.  Awesome.

Impending doom.

En route to the ceremony. . .

Waiting around for the bridal party. . . 'cause apparently everyone around Miami operates on 'Cuban Time'

Adam J. Voigt: celebrated Science Fiction author and playwright.

The Reception area. . . which - I shit you not - is named after Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.  Seriously.

Our dear friend, Drybot.

 

Nuptials.

Evidently, in our culture, its considered 'appropriate' to wear jackets at an evening wedding.  This isn't all that great when its in the high 80s with100% humidity. . .

During Dave's 45-minute vows, an Archeopteryx flew overhead and nearly ate a small child.  I'm not kidding, it was weird.

Mr. and Mrs. Maven the Raven

While waiting in line for booze, I managed to snag a caterer who was walking around with tray of Mojitos.  I pissed off a grumpy old battle axe of a woman in the process, but it was worth it. . .

 

Adam REALLY like sitting in these chairs.

1214!

Lil' Maven

(we neglected to sign the guest book earlier. . .)

 

Whatever this animal was, it was delicious and I'm glad it died so that I might be temporarily satisfied.

Cougars!

They had a photo booth there for the guests, but we missed out on the opportunity. . . so we opted to illustrate our own.

Photorealism.

BAM!

Heading back to Orlando.  Exhausted.