hi folks.
early this morning, when i went outside on my veranda to water my cacti, i discovered a horrible, horrible atrocity: a pterodactyl - or pterosaur (i easily confuse the two) - had shat on the top of my car. that's right: a pterodactyl shat on my car. this isn't the usual exaggeration from yours truly, either, folks. i do tend to stretch things a bit - i'll concede that much -but this pterodacytl business is nothing of the sort.
this is what i think happened:
a beast with at least a twenty four foot wing span flew over our parking lot, at some point in time over the course of the previous night, and shat on the top of my car. it saw that my humble, little clown-car of a ford focus had been recently washed and waxed, and, as we all well know, dinosaurs are instinctively drawn to prestine, shiny things. now, when i say "shat on the top of my car," i mean emptied about four or five gallons of white and brown bird down upon my vehicle. i'm not 100% sure why this paleolithic creature chose my car, of all cars, to defecate on: my assumption was that it was either a die-hard chevy dinosaur, or else a huge supporter of john mccain and the grand ole party.
...that, or else it really hated babies. which, as we all know, is absolutely ridiculous.
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