Sweat, Mud, and Beers

Whaddup, Cyberspace?!

So it had been awhile since the Houghs last set foot on Disney property.  Couldn't tell you the last time, but I guess if you were really interested in finding out this random bit of trivia you could peruse the ol' Archive section at the bottom of the page (I'm too lazy to do so.)  Anyway, the Voigts invited us along to Animal Kingdom in order to push our respective Tax Deductions around in their strollers, have a few beers, and otherwise sweat whilst looking at caged animals.

Cowabunga.

Check it out:

The Houghs.  In front of a big-ass tree.

In 'Africa,' awaiting our Safari truck. . .

Yes, the girls have been on this ride before, but it had been awhile, and now they were both older and more likely to remember said venture.

The Voigts

Homeboy walked right up to the truck. . .

. . . needless to say the girls were pretty stoked.

Still total pansies whenever it comes to loud noises.

Cooling off in the mist after the Safari.

She really wanted her face painted, but for as much as Disney was charging for this, we could've bought a year's supply of paint and done it ourselves.  Wait to go, Disney.

Out of Africa

Arguably the coolest thing I saw throughout the day.

The Cannonball requested I take her picture in front of this big-ass sign. . .

Lunch at Pizzafari. . . or however the hell you spell that.  I hear the food's decent, but I generally stick to a couple of their Safari Amber Ales. . .

Another deep conversation with the Hough children. . .

The Cannonball chows down. . . surprisingly enough (the kid still doesn't eat.)

After lunch we checked into a nearby 'baby center' or 'baby station' (whatever Disney calls it) in order to clean/change Jackson, so the kids got an A/C break with some old-school Disney flicks. . .

Our kids are obsessed with anything smaller than them, so they wouldn't leave this poor kid alone.

Offspring.

In Dinoland, we stopped into the Excavation Play Area and let the girls run around and burn off some steam.  Not that I can explain why anyone in their right mind would purposely want to run around in this oppressive heat. . . but hell, my kids are weird.

We tried getting Abby to go down to this three-story slide. . . but alas, she is a coward.

Sweaty kids.

While Abby was in the throngs of yet another three-year-old toddler freakout, I took Alayna on this Dumbo-esque Triceratops ride.  She's a big fan of these.

Unfortunately, after getting off, we realized the kids had exhausted what little energy of theirs remained, and we decided to cut our losses and call it a day.

- Brian

Every Ass I Kicked I Kicked in Kindergarten

What's up people.

We're going into Week Three now, and so far the Cannonball's been doing pretty good with the whole 'public education thing.'  She's seemed to adjust to going whole days without taking naps (which we were kinda worried about), and, while she's definitely been a little moodier once she gets home, she's managing it fairly well.

Some reading website she uses frequently. . .

In regards to academics, she's ahead of the curve substantially, which we sort of assumed she would be.  There's one or two kids ahead of her, but she's turned out to be way ahead of where's she's supposed to be, and apparently helps out other kids with their reading all the time.  Like I've always said, I really want her in the top few spots of whatever class she's in, and no, that's not me being one of those over-bearing, live-through-their-child, Chinese parents.  Hell no - I'm speaking from experience, having worked in education for the last seven years:  those kids who are labeled 'advanced,' 'honors,' or 'gifted' generally receive better teachers and placement throughout their schooling (sad as it is, it's true.)

Right now she's sitting with the other three advanced readers in the class, so we're hoping this homogenous grouping encourages her to continue working on her skills, as occasionally when we work with her at home she complains that 'reading is boring.'

One area that she has been having trouble with in class lately is socializing.  Not that she's shy or anything like that, folks - nay, she's socializing way too much.  So much, in fact, that she's disrupting class when the teacher's talking, distracting other students while they're working, and otherwise exhibiting your standard 'class clownishness.'

I wasn't surprised by this at all.

The other day she came home with a note in her daily agenda saying she had hit another student.  To us, this didn't really seem like her, and after we tried and failed to get a straight answer out of the five-year-old herself, we decided to call the teacher for an explanation.  Apparently Alayna hit not one but two boys on that day, for completely unrelated reasons and at totally different parts of the day.  In both instances, Alayna was the aggressor, which, as bad as it sounds, was a huge relief to me (with all the crap you hear about bullying in the media, as a parent we're already dreading what our kids may go through.)  But for the teacher to use the word 'hit' in both instances certainly seems like overkill - I think she poked one of the boys in the eye, obviously not using her first, and thereby not technically 'hitting' the other student.  I don't know.

Anyway, it would appear that she's either acting up because she's bored, as she's finishing her work way before anyone else, or else she just wants to screw around in class and not do her work.  Brian J. Hough style.


We're really hoping it's the former and not the latter.  We'll let you know what happens.

- Brian

Tech (retard)Ed

As you may recall, I've been recently given the job of teaching students 'technology.'

If that sounds vague, that's because it is.  Mucho.

Technically, I'm now teaching something called 'Fundamentals of Design: AV and Print'. . . or something like that.  I've renamed it 'Media Productions and Design,' as we're primarily shooting the Student Announcements and showing students how to plan, film, and edit their own videos.  Since this is the first year this course has been offered at my school, it's fallen onto my shoulders to create the curriculum for the class. . . which, as you can imagine, has been unsettling at times.

One of the requirements for the course was for Yours Truly to become certified in Technology Education for grades 6 - 12.  Currently, I'm certified to teach Middle Grades Social Sciences (Grades 5 - 9) and Middle Grades Integrated Curriculum (Grades 5 - 9). . . the latter more or less meaning I can also teach Language Arts, Reading, Science, and - seriously - Math.  Now, back when I had to take the tests for the two aforementioned certification exams, they cost about $75 a pop.  Pretty ridiculous, right?  I mean, it's not like the State of Florida's Department of Education were going to refund my money if I hadn't passed the damn things.

Well, now those stupid tests run you about $200.  That's just for taking the test, too - it costs an additional $75 to have the certification placed on your professional teaching license.

Seriously, folks - it's a racket.

Anyway, I took my Technology Education exam this morning at one of those fancy-pants Pearson Testing Centers, which was much closer for me than driving all the way out to UCF like I'd done years ago for all those stupid tests I had to take in order to become a teacher down here.  The testing center was over by Sea World, so I got over there in about fifteen minutes.  I had anticipated it taking about a half-hour, and wanted to show up early just in case I had to fill out paperwork, but in the end I had to sit and wait in my car for about a half hour before my testing window opened.

. . . which gave me ample time to play the Simpsons Tapped Out game (or, as I like to call it, Smartphone Heroin) on my phone.

Now, they give you about two and half hours to take one of these certification tests.  I always felt this was stupid, seeing how I always finished my exams within an hour of sitting down (even for the Math segments on my Integrated Curriculum test.)

Fun Fact:  My students don't know what cassettes are. . .

Not the case this time, though.  This Technology Education test, without a doubt, was the hardest exam I've ever had the displeasure of taking.

Holy shit.

I was expecting the test to be somewhat difficult, sure - that's why I had been actively studying for it for two months.  I felt pretty comfortable with myself going into this thing, honestly.  Aside from multimedia and editing software via computers, I'm really not 'down' with technology.  Electrical engineering?  Not a big fan of it.  Biochemistry, thermodynamics, agricultural, construction?  Nope.  Drafting, genetic engineering, robotics, physics, nanotechnology, aerospace?  Never been into it.

?

Out of 245 questions on the exam, there were nine - NINE - that somewhat dealt with teaching or computers, or teaching students about computers.  The other 231 - wouldn't you know it - were from the same random categories above.  Which, as you can ascertain by my earlier witticisms, was not something I was well-prepared for.

Holy shit.

Stuff I'll never need to know in life. . .

I don't plan on ever assembling my own robot, designing a fighter jet, planting multiples fields of crops, or adding on an addition to my house with my bare frickin' hands any time soon.  Nor would I ever assume to be able to teach someone else how to do that.  I know what wires look like, I know what a hammer does, and I've watched Star Wars a time or two.  That's about the extent of my technological expertise, at least according to the State of Florida.

?

I used every, last minute of my allotted testing time.  Jumping back and forth between questions, narrowing down answer choices, skipping over questions I didn't know (all 231 of them!), and eventually guesstimating on a sound majority of 'em.  When the time was called, I was sure that I had just pissed away $200.

I didn't know what to tell my wife or my principal, who were both hoping I passed this stupid test (Kris for financial reasons, my boss for out-of-field certification reasons), so it was a heavy heart that I exited the testing room and approached the Golden Girls at the front desk for my results. . .

Then they gave me this:

BAM

How the hell I managed to pull this off, I'll never know.  It's a huge weight off my shoulders, though - for sure.

This is exactly how I felt walking out of that Godforsaken testing center. . . 

Now I get to drop $75 to add the sum'bitch onto my professional license, just so the State of Florida can sleep easy at night. . . knowing that I'm teaching my students all about irrigating soy beans, programming CAD software, building suspension bridges, and installing electrical circuits in a hydroelectric plant. . .

Holy shit.

- Brian