Attack of the Christmas Beast

Well gang, it's coming down to go-time. The Christmas season is upon us, and - if you're a department store or the Dollar General by our house - it has been since, oh, late August or so.


We here at the Houghs always try and hold back the Christmas Beast as long as we can, lest we get sick of Santas and Christmas Trees and all things Yule well ahead of December 25th. This year was no exception, but - and I take full responsibility for this - we caved a little early this year. Usually, we put up our tree the day after Thanksgiving (the day commonly referred to as 'African American Friday'), but this year we threw it up a week early.

'Cause we're suckers.

While I will take the majority of the blame for this early pounce on 'the season fo' pleasin',' I think Home Depot and my school should incur some, small degree of accountability. My school gives us a full week of vacation for Thanksgiving. That's right, a full week. This means that as the holiday fervor begins to rise to a boil, Yours Truly is sitting around a non-decorated house, feeling the Christmas Beast breathe down his neck. The last two years, I've put up the interior house decorations the week leading up to Thanksgiving, with the tree itself going up the following day. As was to be the plan this year, too.

Home Depot had other plans.

Now, since we've been married, Kris and I have had to get by with a 6 ft, artificial Christmas tree that we picked up at Family Dollar. We have to string the lights on ourselves, and every year it just looks like pure hell. Seriously.

Remember Charlie Brown's sad, little Christmas tree? Remember that.

Yup.

Anyway, every year I declare I'm going to acquire a new, pre-lit Christmas tree, and every year it doesn't happen. Either they're too expensive or else we can't find anything worth getting (as was the case last year). This year, though, we found an early Black Friday special at Home Depot - a multi-colored, 7 1/2 ft., full-sized, Aspen spruce. Lots of tips, lots of lights, and retailing for $200... but we got it for $120.

Seeing how we had this awesome tree sitting in a box in our living room, we said 'what the hell' and threw the damn thing up early. 'Tis the season. The Cannonball loved the whole process of putting up the tree, and we had our parents oh hand via Skype, so it was a good time. Of course, we had to set up the tree so that all the hard-to-break, crappy, cheap ornaments were towards the bottom of the tree, and in the kids' reach, while the over-priced, Hallmark ornaments were higher up and safe from inquisitive fingers

Now, while decorating and Yule-spreading is frowned on before Thanksgiving, gift-getting and holiday shoppitude is most certainly not. No, the Houghs start buying Christmas gifts in late October/early November... because we're really, really smart.

Who the hell waits until December to start buying gifts for people? Seriously?! Why face those throngs of morons and crowds of 'crap, I gotta find this!' shoppers in malls and department stores, when one can easily just sit at home and purchase gifts online via Amazon or Target or eBay or what-have-you?

This year, we started picking out things for our daughters via Amazon, and began whittling away at those gifts in October. As of now, we're 100% done with Christmas shopping for the girls. Completely. If there's anything left to pick up, it'll be an impulse buy Kris picks up on African American Friday (because, being completely insane, she's still insisting on going out and braving the hordes at 4am).

Alayna was, by far, the easier of the two kids to shop for. Abby's more or less getting the money we'd otherwise be spending on buying her more toys deposited directly into her savings account. She has all of Alayna's mountain of old toys to play with, and there's really nothing she needs from us.

The Cannonball, however, is getting to an age where the toys we buy for her need to be more complex and challenging. Since Kris and I are both teachers, we really push reading, writing, and drawing with her, so I put some research into the highest quality toys available on the market that could assist her in further developing her reading and writing skills (phonetics, grammar, composition, etc.).

What we decided to buy her this year for her main gift was the Fisher Price iXL Learning System. Think of it as an iPad for toddlers. You can download various software programs onto it, you can upload your own mp3 audio files, your own pictures, and custom design the interface to fit your kid's personality. It's an e-reader, a hand-held gaming system, and mp3 player, and a picture-viewer all-in-one. You can draw, practice writing, listen to jams, view pictures, play games, and read books using a stylus and touch-screen.

If it sounds like I'm trying to sell this thing, it's because I seriously think this is the coolest kid's toy I've ever seen. If you're interested in learning more, check it out yourself. I'd highly recommend it for your own kids if they're gentle with electronics (Alayna's uses Kris' iPod Touch all the time and is knows how to handle and use it).

In closing, we're going home to Michigan this year for Christmas, and are once again making the 1300-mile trek via Tactical Family Transport Vehicle (i.e. 'mini-van'). We'll keep you posted as we develop our plans regarding this most perilous of ventures.

Stay tuned.

- Brian

Garage Sailin' Once Again

This was a last-minute adventure, rest assured.


We didn't catch wind of that there was going to be a community garage sale in Hunter's Creek until Thursday morning, when Kris randomly drove past one of the signs on her way to work. Fortunately, we had some disposable income to mess around with, and, for the Houghs, there's no better way to burn a hole in one's pocket than treasure-hunting.

Despite the typical chaos that is our morning routine, we managed to drag both girls out the door, withdraw cash, and prep our internal workings with Dunkin' Donuts by 7:50am, meaning we were in prime shape for the 8am kick-off. At first, things were slow and we didn't really see all that much, and the few items that did catch our eye from the road were snatched up by the time we navigated our way to the respective driveway (I had a miniature guitar I wanted to pick up for the Cannonball, as well as a humidor filled with cigars, slip through my fingers). This led to a brief moment of low morale, but we were able to bounce back after a few, extremely rewarding stops.

Behold this year's haul:


100 vinyl albums: $10. That's right. $10. That's an insane bargain for over a hundred records. I haven't gotten a chance to clean them up yet - some of them are in pretty bad shape, and there are definitely some junkers that will have to be tossed out - but for ten cents a piece, who gives a shit. There's definitely a lot of doubloons in there - lots of classic rock from the '60s, '70s, and '80s, along with just about everything else you can imagine from that era. A couple albums are even personally signed by Ted Nugent and (blegh) Sammy Haggar. I can thank the seller's wife for my incredible fortune - she wanted them gone and out of her house, so, with a gut-wrenching sigh, the poor guy dumped them on me. Women don't seem to care for boxes and boxes of vinyl cluttering up their nest. Oh well... one man's crushing loss is another man's spoils.

A LeapFrog LeapPad a few cartridge/book combos: $5. A little advanced for the Cannonball, but definitely a steal and something she'll eventually get into down the road.

10 Teacher Resource Books and 14 classroom bulletin board decorations: $2. As any educator will tell you, resource books are worth their weight in gold, and we were lucky enough to be at the right place at the right time. She had tons of stuff for elementary and middle grades, so Kris and I both managed to snatch up lots of great material for our classrooms.

A Dual Camping Chair Set w/Carrying Bag: $3. Two, toddler-sized camping chairs that are connected by a double-cup holder and snack/toy bin. I didn't know they made things like this, but I'm glad we found it for so cheap... this will be awesome for the backyard, parades, and anywhere else where you want to randomly set up your tax deductions.

5 Photo Albums and Scrapbooking Supplies: $6. Kris picked up a set of small photo albums and a craft set for Alayna at the same sale we scored the chair system, and just about everything there was a buck apiece (which was surprising, seeing how in May, when we last frequented the same neighborhood, everything was marked up beyond all rational thought).

A Super Nintendo, two controllers, hookups, and 14 games: $10. Like last May, when I scored a similar Sega Genesis bundle for $10, I nearly shat myself when the seller offered the whole lot to me for such a low price. If he had individually sold the system and games on ebay, he could've easily scored over $200. It was our last Alexander Hamilton of the morning quest, but worth every, last penny. After cleaning up the system and games with some rubbing alcohol, everything is in nearly new condition and just as awesome as I remember.

An Umbrella Stroller: $5. This is our third stroller (after our travel system and double stroller), but we wanted something extremely light and portable. It's a little stained up, but it should look good once Kris works her magic over it. And for $5? Psshh...


...so, all in all, this morning was extremely productive. I wish they had community garage sales around here more often. The next one is in May, and, by that point in time, we'll be ready to participate ourselves (we'll be tossing out all the old infant clothing and toys, odds and ends, and maybe - if I'm lucky - even a few swords). I think we've met our quota for awesome plunder acquisition for the next six months, though.

Slainte,

- Brian