'The Clock Ticketh,' or 'Wuddabout Dad?'

My kid's Due Date is starting to seem like some sort of fanciful mirage. And its starting to seriously piss me off.

The ol' day-to-day in La Casa de Hougho seems to be grinding down to a point where, if it were my car, I'd take it in to get something fixed muy pronto-like. Kris is getting worn out earlier and more frequently (she's about 8 months along now, so that shouldn't come to too much of a surprise, I guess), and that means that this guy's getting more stressed out because he's picking up more of the slack due to her inability to take care of as much around the house.

Before I have every, last female across cyberspace rise up to smite me, allow me to continue.

Yes, I totally realize pregnancies are difficult things for women to endure, and I'm not discounting that in the slightest. Nobody's stupid, here - we all know she's got it way worse off than I do. That's a no-brainer, folks. All I'm saying is that this isn't necessarily a stroll through the ol' park for yours truly, either. Dad's suffer through pregnancies - hate to break it to you, ladies, but its true - and I think its high time that women learn to appreciate this. With grad school, work, my writing program, and a toddler at home, I have next to zero decompress time for myself, with day after day of minimal decompress time adding up continuously over a prolonged increment of time, it begins to take a toll on one's stress level and sanity.

My gray hairs have multiplied this year ten-fold - I'm not even kidding! - and I attribute this more to the stressful act of balancing work, school, writing, and parenthood more than I do the fact that I'm currently racing down the final stretch of my 20's and approaching the dreaded 30.

F*** 30.

- Brian

Seven Years

What a horrible anniversary this is.

On this day, seven years ago, Virgil Q's Dixieland Kazoo Revue played its one and only show at Newton Court. And while that was definitely an event worthy of marking down on a calendar and observing on an annual basis, it holds even greater significance for yours truly:


That was the last time I ever played on a drum set. I'm serious.



Big whoop, you say? Yeah, it kind of is. Its weird coming to grips with the fact that its been seven years without so much as sitting down behind a set, especially seeing how drums used to be such a major part of my daily existence throughout my teens/twenties. Equally weird is this being even feasible in the first place, considering how Goddamn good I was at wielding drum sticks.


A freak occurrence, rest assured. First there was two years of service in Africa (which would obviously prohibit me from throwing a drum set in a suitcase) and the near-simultaneous abduction and disappearance of my dear Colossus Maximus. Then came my return home, only to spend four years dwelling in apartments (which, as a rule, aren't the greatest places to set up drums). Finally, seven years later, I once again have a house... only now, due to a quasi-cruel twist of fate, I have roommates in diapers that aren't, shall we say, of the 1214/Sausage Pad caliber.

Here's hoping that it won't be another seven years before I end up with sticks in my hands once more. Cross thy fingers.

- Brian

Four Twenty: A Smoke-Free Celebration

Hallmark achievements abound when you have kids, guys. Baby's first poop, baby's first solids, baby's first steps, baby's first tooth, etc. etc. etc.

Lots of excuses to blabber to family and friends and celebrate mediocrity in all its 'blah'-ness.

Well, tonight's different. Tonight is a reason for serious 'what the hell, you wouldn't believe what my kid just did!'-ishness.

Tonight, Alayna muttered 'awesome.'

And dad nearly crapped his pants.

Next up, teaching her supplemental vocabulary that she can utilize in her day-to-day activities (both at home or school). These include, but are not limited to, other catchphrases made popular by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (tubular, radical, gnarly, bodacious, and - for the advanced beginner - COWABUNGA!!).

(Its hard following up that one, so I'll close now).

- Brian

The Hough's 100th Episode: Cannonball's Pool

We'd been hunting down one for the last two weeks, and finally managed to snatch ourselves up a kiddie pool for the kiddie.

This Spring Break, while incredibly uneventful, has been blessed with amazing weather. After enduring three months of Michigan-esque weather (sort of), we finally got nearly a week-long stretch of sunny weather in the low to mid 80s. Perfect weather. As such, we were hoping to find a kiddie pool so the kid could enjoy splashing about in the backyard and take full advantage of this awesome heat.

Well, evidently 'kiddie pool' is synonymous with 'holy grail.' No one - Target, Wal-Mart, Pinch-a-Penny, Bob's Pool Outlet, Family Dollar, Big Lots, or any of the numerous Dollar stores in our immediate vicinity - believed in stocking the molded shrines of plastic this early in the spring. 'Screw them!', says we.

Salvation, as so often before, came to us via Toys R' Us. As a kid, this magical retailer was the holiest and most badical place on the face of the earth. Not surprisingly, it still sort of is, and we ended up finding several different kinds of pools over there.

So, to Toys R' Us, we'd like to offer a heartfelt 'thanks' and 'atta boy.' Much appreciated, giraffes.

Anyway, the kid loves the pool. Loves it. Here's some pics. Enjoy.

- Hough